


Equilibrium

by RogueWitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, F/M, M/M, Multi, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-05-17 18:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 47,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueWitch/pseuds/RogueWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy gives Bucky the space to be himself, and figure out what that means, while teaching Steve who Bucky has become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guitar Song

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first foray into the Avengers Universe, any notes would be awesome.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by "Guitar Song" by Texas

Equilibrium

Chapter 1: Guitar Song

The cold, gray skyline of New York loomed out the windows of the common room as Darcy settled the old wooden guitar in her lap, her legs neatly folded on the soft leather couch. Days like this, a light rain pattering against the towering windows, that moment when summer was well and truly over, the leaves turning brilliant colors and fluttering to the ground, days like this were the hardest. She settled her hands over the cold strings, her left hand curled around the solid wood of the well-worn fretboard, the body of the guitar soft from hundreds of hours of being touched, polish worn dull. She could almost feel her mother’s hands ghosted over her’s, strong hands with long graceful fingers, holding Darcy’s as she showed her daughter how to curl her fingers into the notes.

Darcy hit the play button on the well-loved iPod, thank you Agent iPod Thief, the deep smoky voice of Sharleen Spiteri cutting through the silence of the empty tower, as she let her hands begin to wonder across the stings, thankful for the earbuds that concealed the flat notes of the old guitar that was in serious need of tuning, the strings frayed and too loose, strings she couldn’t bear to replace, and wouldn’t tighten.

A soft ping in her ear alerted her to the presence of the only other occupant of the tower. The dark figure reflected in the floor to ceiling windows was no surprise, he wasn’t trying to hide, not that Friday would let him. He couched in plain view on the upper level, decked out in full gear, his lower face covered in his black mask. Hiding in plain sight.

Tony had been nervous about leaving Darcy along with him. “Darcy, sweetheart, he’s not right,” Tony pinched the bridge of this nose. “I don’t like that the Cap is leaving him here in the first place.”

“Friday’s keeping an eye on him,” She said, coolly. Darcy rolled her eyes, Tony had known about her for five minutes, and already he was trying to pull this concerned dad bullshit on her. “Steve wouldn’t leave him here alone with me if he thought he’d hurt me.”

“Cap’s stupid when it comes to this guy,” Tony told her. “He could level a city block, and he’d bring him home, he’s like a dog that’s been hit too much, you don’t know what little thing’ll set him off.”

“I won’t do anything stupid.” Tony left it at that, but set up for Friday to ping Darcy’s earbuds anytime he drifted into her vicinity.  
Darcy wasn’t going to let his presence ruin her ‘me’ time. The sad strains of the guitar helped her drift into her own mind, the cold dark presence at her back, his icy gaze tripping against the back of her skull, faded into nothing as her mind wondered to days in her old house, sitting on the old thrift store couch in front of a warm fire, singing the rain away.

The Soldier slowly came down the metal steps of the common room, the earbuds blocked out all sound, but she doubted that he made any. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as the couch dipped on one side, and she felt him cross his legs, always at attention.

Darcy let her voice drift in and around the beautiful refrain as her fingers danced over the worn strings, careful not to strum too hard. When she opened her eyes an hour later, the fearsome Winter Soldier was fast asleep, his mask dangling from his fingers. She pulled the soft, thick afghan from the back of the couch, and tucked him in, before padding over to the kitchen to put a pot on to boil.

It was a week before he said anything. He’d drift into the common room whenever Darcy was there, padding quietly to the couch, sitting on the opposite end, and curling up. He’d watch whatever she put on the television, or listen to her play the old guitar, the end result was always her pulling the blanket down around him while he slept quietly. She wondered if he ever slept at night. 

She had Pirates of the Caribbean on the big screen, her feet up on the coffee table, when the soft ping sounded.

“Worried I’ll jump out and say ‘boo,’ Doll?” His voice was deep and gravelly from disuse, and his face was as cold and stoic as ever, but the words themselves had a hint of self-depreciating teasing.

“You don’t scare me,” She smiled at him and patted the sofa. “Pull up a cushion, Soldier, this is a classic.”

“I’m not a soldier,” he said quietly, but sat down on his side of the couch and looked toward the big screen.

“I don’t know what to call you,” Darcy said to the screen, watching Captain Jack Sparrow ride his ever sinking ship into the harbor.

“Steve calls me Bucky,” he shrugged.

“Is that what you want me to call you?” She peeked over to him, his legs were curled up on the couch, and he had his arms around his knees, the servos in his metal arm were spinning a whirling, like he couldn’t hold still.

“James,” he said.

“Okay, James,” Darcy said, listening to his arm settle down. She filed away his tell, and smiled at him. “You’re in for a treat; this is one of my favorite movies.”

James was fast asleep when the credits rolled, but he hadn’t worn his mask, and he’d spoken. It was a good day. Darcy keyed up the second movie, and settled in for the afternoon. He slept through dinner.

The third week, James sought Darcy out in her lab. Tony had dedicated part of the floor he’d designated for Avenger R and D, for Darcy. A glass wall kept her separate from Jane’s lab, so she could keep an eye on her best friend, but one entire corner was just for her. Her gleaming lab currently only held a single lab table, stainless steel, and unscratched, housing parts and pieces of a giant server, which she was busy taking apart.

“You weren’t in the common room,” James settled himself cross-legged on the work bench, as she poked at the old server that used to be JARVIS.

“I broke the ‘E’ string,” she said quietly, she tried to tell herself it wasn’t a big deal, it was an old guitar, but she had to hold back tears. To be honest, she was punishing herself with a nearly impossible task. “And I needed to do actual work.”

James face called bullshit, but he didn’t say anything. “What are you doing?” He tilted his head to the side, trying to get a better look. Darcy held up the circuit board she’d pulled out. “I’m trying to figure out what made JARVIS so special.” It wasn’t a remarkable board, other than Tony’d built it himself. “So far I’ve pulled out circuit boards, and combed through code, I’ve dug through every file I can find that Tony’s got sitting around.”

“What have you found,” he shifted, he was making and effort today, but she could still hear the servos working, as he tried to stay still and calm. He’d finally abandoned his uniform for more comfortable jeans and t shirts, he’d asked her if his arm bothered her, and she’d shrugged, it was his arm, nothing to be bothered by, he’d smiled, and stopped wearing long sleeves. He probably didn’t like the lab, he’d spent enough time in them, she’d read his file, Friday had readily given it to her when she asked, and Tony’d given her unfettered access to Avengers Tower.

“Nothing,” her shoulders sagged in dejection. “As far as I can tell he shouldn’t have been any more special than Friday, but he was a person, complete in everything but body, until recently. You know Tony let him write his own code, treated him like a complete person. Friday needs so much instruction to run a simple task; it’s almost not worth it.” She shrugged. “Have I introduced you to the Xbox in the common room?”

“What’s an Xbox,” the puzzled look on his face was priceless.

“I’ll show you,” Darcy hopped off her stool and strolled out of the lab, not bothering to see if he was following.

James like racing games. He was scary good at them, and played even the most ridiculous with a stoic concentration that couldn’t be missed. He sat calmly on the couch navigating Yoshi around the rainbow road. Darcy stood, twisted and turned; James just lifted his eyebrow at her antics. She danced around the room the first time she beat him, though she suspected that he’d let her, watching the Princess do her victory lap, while his dejected Yoshi shook his head. James laughed out loud, and Darcy hugged him.

The Wednesday before thanksgiving dawned cold and gray. Darcy looked at her mom’s guitar in the corner, the ‘E’ string wrapped around the fretboard, begging to be fixed. She shook her head and shuffled up to the common room. She curled up on her end of the couch and watched the rain run down the windows, the cold wind she couldn’t feel inside began to seep into her soul.

Friday had abandoned the ping to let her know when James entered the room, she didn’t need it, she could feel his dark presence before she felt him drop the afghan around her shoulders, settling down on the couch beside her.

“I don’t like rainy days either,” he said quietly, leaving just enough space between them that they weren’t touching. They’d been alone in the tower for a month, the space seemed artificial, but she couldn’t muster the energy to bridge the gap.

“I used to love the rain,” she replied, almost under her breath. “Mom used to light a fire in our living room and we’d cuddle on the couch and she’d pay her guitar and it was like the world lit up, and the whole house would warm to her voice.” I took a long breath. “I wasn’t there when she was diagnosed; I was with Jane in London. I didn’t know what happened, but pancreatic cancer is fast, it was only a few weeks between her diagnosis, and the day she died.” I hadn’t been there, the end of the world kept me from checking my messages, and I hadn’t been there for her. “She died on a cold rainy day two Novembers ago; I’ve played her guitar since.”

“And now it’s broken, and you can’t play and chase the rain away,” he concluded.

“I can’t,” she agreed, a cool tear slid down her cheek. She knew the strings were frayed and it was in desperate need of tuning, but every time she tried, she could seek the long fingers turning the keys, plucking those strings and she stopped. He didn’t ask, just nodded and hugged her to his side. Tucking them both under the heavy afghan.

“Steve would get sick when it got cold,” was all he said, the tension in her shoulders melting away, resting her head on his warm shoulder. “His mom worked all hours to support the two of them, so when it got cold and damp, and Stevie couldn’t get out of bed, I’d take care of him.” His voice was soft and deep, and he ran his fingers up and down her arm. “He used to complain about my cooking, said my chicken soup wasn’t like his momma’s, and my noodles where always hard.”

“You love him,” Darcy said quietly. She shifted so she was laying her head against his thigh, and he curled his fingers through her loose hair. The hypnotic feeling of his fingers against her scalp and his rumbling voice was soothing.

“More then I should,” he told her, his fingers never stopping. “It wasn’t acceptable when we were young.” He shrugged. “He doesn’t love me like that, certainly not now.”

“What makes you say that?” She’d heard the good Captain tell stories about Bucky Barns; there was always a wistful gleam in his eyes, like remembering a lost love.

“I’m not Bucky anymore,” his voice full of sadness. “He might have loved Bucky, the carefree boy who catted around with the girls and made him bitter tea, and watched over him when he got real bad, to make sure he didn’t stop breathing in his sleep.”  
“He tore thought heaven and earth to find you,” Darcy said. “I helped JARVIS comb through security footage all over New York and DC trying to find any trace of you.”

“You found the Winter Soldier,” he said, cold ice seeping into his voice his fingers stilling against her scalp. “That’s quite a feat.” She felt him take a long breath, the servos on his arm twitching as he struggled back from Soldier to James. His fingers stared massaging her scalp again. “He thinks I’m broken, I don’t know.”

“”You’re getting better,” just the fact that he was comfortable sitting on the sofa with her, his back to half the room, in his sweats and wife beater, said how far he’d come.

“You make it easy, you have on expectations of Bucky, I’ll never be Bucky again,” his voice left no room for argument. “I’m a duty to him; he has to take care of me, because of Bucky.”

“You were never together back then?” She asked, not sure if she had the right.

“It wasn’t’ acceptable,” James said. “And Steve was too sick, and then we were at war, and then I was gone.”

“And now you’re different,” she said.

“And Steve doesn’t love James; he doesn’t even really know me. He just wants to fix me.” Darcy could hear the tears he wouldn’t let fall, and had no words. She sat up and hugged him to her, letting him slide around so his back was to the couch, running her hands through his hair, his head on her chest and his arms around her waist, the cold metal arm slowly warming to her body temperature. As the rain pattered on the windows they fell asleep, comforted by each other’s presence.


	2. Paper Cut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by Linkin Park's Paper Cut. I'm not entirely thrilled with this chapter, its feeling a bit like filler, which I hate, but I couldn't leave the two of them alone forever.   
> Side note, does anyone know a good dictation app, I do a lot of my brain storming while I'm driving to and from work, the hour each way gives me lots of time to let Darcy run rampant in my brain, but I loose so many cleaver dialogue bits in that time. I'm currently trying to jot things in docs when I'm stick in traffic, but I'd rather use some kind of dictation. Let me know.  
> Also, please don't get too used to daily updates, I have a eighteen month old, and he comes first. I've been lucky the past two days getting time to write.

Equilibrium

Chapter 2: Paper Cut

The Avengers filtered back into the tower in time for Thanksgiving. James disappeared back into his black cargo pants and long sleeve shirts, and a dark expression on his face, as he lurked around the edges of any activity. Steve watched him from across the room, a kicked puppy expression on his face. Darcy sauntered into the kitchen, fresh from a long shower, and a present sitting on her kitchen counter, from Pepper, a new pair of black converse All Stars, no fancy purse or shoes that could have paid for college, just a new pair of her favorite shoes, in the color she liked best. Pepper got her in a way Tony hadn’t gotten to yet.

James hooked his arm around her waist as soon as she walked by, his other hand catching her opposite, metal fingers sliding between flesh. “He’s always looking at me like that,” he whispered. “I can’t stand it.”

“Don’t let it get to you,” Darcy told him, sliding her arm around him, almost as if they were dancing. “You said it yourself, he doesn’t know you.”

“Can I crash on your couch for a few days?” Darcy could feel the tiny servos in his hand trembling against her palm. “I can’t stay with him, its making me twitch.”

“You can stay in my guest room as long as you like,” she ghosted her hands along his back, and chuckled. Steve’s kicked puppy expression turned sour as he watched them. “We’ll go pack you a bag after dinner.” She kissed his cheek and patted his back, watching Steve’s face turn red.

Darcy made it less than ten steps toward were Jane and Thor had finally stepped off the elevator, before Tony stepped in front of her.

“What was that?” He hissed under his breath. “I thought I told you to keep clear of that one.”

“Excuse me,” Darcy tried to nudge past her entirely too over protective father. An over-protectiveness he had neither earned, nor she needed.

“Darcy,” Tony pinched his nose and bowed his head. “I just want you safe.”

“Then you probably shouldn’t have left me alone in the Tower for a month,” Darcy shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with James, he’s been through a horrible ordeal, he’s been enslaved by HYDRA for seven decades, and he’s working really hard to put his mind back together.”

“Doesn’t mean you need to go around cuddling and kissing him,” Tony countered.

“Please,” Darcy smirked. “Have you looked at him? I’d climb him like a tree in a heartbeat.”

“You say these things to give me a heart attack.” Tony shook his head at her, not entirely sure he had a leg to stand on, telling his daughter who they could sleep with, he’d made more than his fair share of rounds.

“Fifty fifty,” she smiled. “He’s my friend, Tony. He’s not entirely comfortable with this number of people in one place, we’ve had a month to ourselves, and now the entire Tower has converged upon us. He just needed a little hand holding, I won’t deny him that.” Darcy pushed past Tony, and went to greet her best friend, who’d been teaching at Culver for the semester.

“I see you’ve made a new friend,” Jane smiled. That’s what Darcy loved about the astrophysicist, she might have trouble separating herself from her science sometimes, but she was an amazing judge of character, and an enormous heart.

“Yeah,” Darcy smiled at James, who was doing his best to blend into the cabinets in the common room kitchen. “He’s sweet, and puts up with my special form of crazy. You know he sat through all three Despicable Me movies in an afternoon, without a single complaint, and then sat through all of Pride and Prejudice.”

“The Colin Firth one?” Jane asked, knowing very well the answer.

“I think he drooled a little,” she laughed.

“Who wouldn’t, he’s totally drool worthy, especially when he’s all wet.” Jane wound her arm through Thor’s, who was very much not paying any attention to their girl talk. “I think the big guy had a hard time not goggling at Mr. Firth.”

“It was easier on him when there wasn’t anyone here,” Darcy wished she could wrap James up in cotton and protect him from the stress of all these big personalities, but if she tried, she wouldn’t be any better than Steve. It was good for him to figure it out on his own.”

“Well, I don’t know about everyone else,” Jane said, gently leading both Thor and Darcy to the side of the kitchen where James was lurking. “But we’ll be leaving Sunday, but I’ll be back in a few weeks. The semester is ending, as is my tenure at Culver.” Jane was hanging up her Professorship in favor of a cushy job at Stark Industries continuing her work on the Einstein-Rosen Bridge.

“Honestly,” Darcy hooked James’ metal hand, bringing him around to the conversation. “I think you too are the best people to have around.”

“I love you too,” Jane kissed Darcy’s cheek and held her hand out to James. “I’m Jane.”

“Pleased to meet you,” James took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Darcy’s told me a great deal about her brilliant friend Jane.”

Jane blushed, opening and closing her mouth like a drowning fish. “This is Thor,” she finally got out. Indicating the blond to her left.

“Any friend of my Lightning Sister, is a friend of mine,” Thor clapped James so hard on his shoulder; Darcy was worried he’d keel over. But James just grinned at the God of Thunders jovial chuckle, and clasped hands with the hulking man.

“It’s a pleasure,” James started to visibly relax, the servos that fluttered against Darcy’s fingers starting to slow. “Darcy told me to ask you about the time she Tazed you.”

“Twas a glorious victory for my little sister,” Thor led James away. “I would gladly tell you the tale of the little woman who took down the God of Thunder.” Thor chuckled deeply as they walked away.

“Thank you,” Darcy said to Jane. “He needs someone else who sees him.”

“Don’t thank me, if Thor didn’t want to, he’d have snubbed him as fast as embrace him.” Jane grabbed a glass and poured a glass of white wine, not bothering to read the label. “Now, what’s happening there?”

Darcy took her time finding the Riesling, before pouring herself a large glass; she figured she’d need some fortification if she was going to make it through the night with this lot, especially over a Thanksgiving feast. “Nothing,” she shrugged. “He’s in love with Steve, and he’s still trying to put his head on straight.” She took a deep sip, letting her shoulders sag. “He’s beautiful, but he’s still learning how to be a person again. I know SHIELD’s cleared him of any brainwashing, and everything, but he’s still been a captive for seventy years, he’s trying to piece back together everything that makes him a person, and catch up on seven decades of the world. Everything in his mind is so piecemeal. Now that he’s talking, I’m happy to be his sounding board, but there’s nothing there.”

“He watches you,” Jane countered.

“He trusts me,” Darcy was pretty proud of that fact. She tried not to put it in the context of the Winter Soldier trusting her, James wasn’t that man to her, but it was hard not to see him the way that other people saw him, the way her friends and family watched him with so much caution, when she’d just as easily curl up with him and watch a stupid movie, and fall asleep, completely at ease with the fact that she was as safe as anyone could ever be.

“I think it’s more than that,” Jane told her.

“Alright,” Tony bellowed. “Dinner is served; grab a seat before there all gone.

Jane and Darcy slipped into the chairs that Thor and James had saved for them, carefully bracketing the girls from the rest of the guests. James gently took Darcy’s hand under the table as Steve sat on his other side. He pressed his metal arm against her shoulder, hoping that only she could tell the plates on his arms were clenching.

“Now that we’re all here,” Tony stood up at the head of the table, looking across at Pepper. “I would like to raise a glass and say, let’s eat, it’s getting cold.” He grabbed the fork stuck in the slices of turkey, and took a healthy portion. 

Steve took James’ plate and started loading it down with meat and potatoes, she watched him put a healthy portion of green beans on the plate, letting all the food touch. She knew he hated when his food touched, he hated when Steve treated him like an invalid, but he didn’t say anything, just clutched her hand harder. She debated saying anything, wanting James to say something for himself, but knowing he wouldn’t, it was Steve, and he wanted so badly for the other man to accept him. When Steve started cutting the meat on his plate, Darcy’s nerve broke.

“He’s not a child, Steve,” Darcy said quietly, not wanting to cause a scene.

“He used to do it for me,” he shrugged and continued to cut the meat.

“You were sick, Steve,” Darcy carefully extracted her hand from James’ and put it over Steve’s. “He can do this himself.”

“If he doesn’t like it,” Steve sneered in a very unCaptian America way. “He can sure tell me himself.”

“I’d like to take care of myself, Punk,” James extracted the fork from his old friend’s fingers. “I can take care of myself.” He didn’t look entirely pleased at Darcy, either, which sucked, but she knew he’d rather she’d stay out of it before she said anything.

Dinner was uncomfortable, and stressful, and Darcy downed three more glasses of wine before desert and another with her pecan pie. She felt more than a little floaty when she walked James back to Steve’s apartment to collect an overnight bag.

“That sucked,” Darcy leaned against the metal of her friends shoulder, enjoying the cool metal through his Henley. “I know Tony means well, but he thinks I’m five.”

“Yeah,” James just tucked her under his arm as he unlocked the door and led her through the neat as a pin, personality-less apartment. 

“Wow,” Darcy looked around; nothing had been done to the entire place, since Tony’d handed it over to the Cap. “It’s exactly what I’d expect for Captain America’s apartment to look like.” James led her into the guest room, where he’d been living since he’d moved into the Tower. It looked like the closet exploded. Somehow it was so James she couldn’t help but hug him a little. “I feel a whole lot better about bringing you to my place now.”

“What, now that you know I’m a complete slob?” James flushed a little, but with the lights still out, he was hoping that Darcy didn’t see.

“Yeah, no judgement here, just wait until you see my room,” Darcy pushed him fully into the room and switched on the light. “Grab your Jammies; it’s so time for this drunk to fall into bed.”

“I don’t wear Jammies,” James winked. 

“I’ll file that away for later,” Darcy wasn’t sure if he was flirting with her, or he was just being a little more himself. After all, Bucky Barnes was a legendary Ladies Man.

Darcy woke up with an amazing wine hangover; she reached to her bedside table, grabbing her phone, trying to stop the insistent beeping. A message from Jane blinked; Darcy closed one eye, trying to shield her brain from the bright screen far too early in the morning. More fumbling, and the discovery of a glass of water and two aspirin made her smile despite the axe making its way through her skull, got her glasses on her face, and a grumpy reply to Jane, letting her know exactly how she felt about being woken up without coffee after a night of defensive drinking, before dragging herself into her own kitchen, and the beautiful ex-assassin, who had a cup of coffee ready for her.

“I’m a little in love with you this morning,” Darcy kissed James on the cheek and took the pre-offered mug, which appropriately stated her unwillingness to function before coffee.

“If I knew that was all it took, I’d’ve made coffee weeks ago,” James grinned and poured his own cup.

“Flirt,” Darcy dug in the cabinet for her brown sugar Poptarts, the perfect hangover food and took a healthy drink of the black coffee.

“It’s easy with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express how much I appreciate the outpouring of love I've gotten for the first chapter, I've been posting for years on fanfiction.net, and I'm so glad I've moved over here. Thanks for the warm reception. Please keep up the love.


	3. Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Family Force 5, mostly Fever.  
> Back to just Darcy and James. Jane'll be back in the next chapter, if she cooperates.  
> *The MASH mistake has been fixed.

Equilibrium

Chapter 3: Fever

Darcy did yoga most mornings. She wasn’t a fan of getting sweaty, unless it was for much more enjoyable activities, but if she wanted to keep eating Poptarts, she had to do something, and yoga was the least objectionable activity.

Darcy stretched out, hands firmly planted on the floor, legs straight, she hated to admit it, but the burn felt good. James came padding out of his room, rubbing his eyes in search of coffee, while he was the Winter Soldier, he’d been forced to be at the ready all the time, being tired was not acceptable. Now that he’d regained his freewill, he’d discovered that he wasn’t a morning person, and Darcy’s coffee addiction was rubbing off on him. James stopped dead when he caught sight of Darcy; butt in the air, boy shorts barely covering it, and a sports bra doing its darndest to keep her breasts under control.

“Morning, Jamie,” Darcy winked at the immobile Winter Soldier. “See something you like?”

James made no move to answer, just stood there, wide eyed for a full minute before turning tail and running back to his room. Darcy just chuckled to herself. She’d scared the most fearsome assassin in history, while doing her morning yoga. She bet she was the only person who could say that.

Darcy waited for James to reemerge for a full hour before she knocked. “James would you like to come out now?” she said though the closed door when he didn’t answer.

“Are you wearing clothes?” James called through the door.

“I’ve been wearing the same clothes all morning, Jamie.” Darcy let her forehead fall against the door, she had a feeling this was going to be one of those cultural divide conversations.

“Decent girls don’t dress like that, Darce.” His voice was muffled, which probably meant he had his back to the door.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Times have changed,” James didn’t respond. “Would it make you feel better if I put on a shirt?”

“And pants.”

“I’m wearing pants,” Darcy huffed.

“Those aren’t pants,” James called through the door, his voice hitting a note Darcy wasn’t aware it could. He was clearly exasperated; she could almost hear the servos in this arm whirling. “If they were pants, I wouldn’t be able to count the freckles on your ass.”

“I don’t have any freckles on my ass,” she really needed to catch him up on modern fashion.

“And now I know that, Darcy, please put pants on,” James sighed. It wasn’t like he was some blushing virgin, but she was his friends, she took care of him in the most effortless way, he didn’t feel right about looking at her nearly naked back side.

“Fine,” Darcy pulled on a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt. “I’m dressed.”

James peaked around the edge of his door, before emerging completely. “Thanks.” He kissed her forehead before going to the kitchen and filling two mugs with hot coffee.

Darcy was all about music. James could practically feel her emotions, tangible through the music she listened to. Her music changed with her moods, and the variety was staggering. While he didn’t know any of the artists, or really anything about the modern music she kept pumping through the speakers of her apartment during nearly every waking hour, it ranged from soulful crooning, to screaming noise. And she danced. To everything. She danced around her apartment when she cooked, cleaned and talked on the phone to Jane, who had gone back to Culver for the last few weeks of the semester. The dancing was mostly unrecognizable to him, some of it down right strange, while she was beautifully graceful sometimes, others she looked like she was repeatedly being struck by lightning. It was adorable.

Darcy spent a lot more time in her lab then James had realized. He never moved back to Steve’s apartment, and Darcy never asked him to, just stocked the fridge with his favorite foods, and went on with her life. While she was working, she had him of a strict schedule of historical catching up. She called it Modern History 101, current social vernacular called it binge watching. He mostly watched in the apartment, or the common room. He didn’t like going to the lab if he could help it, but he’d finished his latest assignment, and Darcy hadn’t come back for lunch.

James made his way down to the Avenger’s R and D level, where Darcy’s lab was, stopping several times to remind himself that it was Darcy he was going to see, and she’d never hurt him. He finally stood in the doorway to the lab and stopped. She was standing behind her lab table, a whole array of digital 3-D images surrounding her. She was twisting and moving them, pushing some together and others she was tossing away.

“Hey, super star,” Darcy called over, dismissing the model she was working on. “Whatcha doing lighting up my doorway?” The servos on his shoulder jumped and moved about, like there were snakes under the metal. “How come you’re visiting my lab if it bothers you so much?”

“Finished my reading ‘The Right Stuff’ and you didn’t come to lunch.” Darcy checked her watch.

“Sorry, buddy,” she walked over to the door, gently guiding him back to the elevator. “I must have gotten caught up.”

Darcy waited until they were well away from her lab before she tackled the difficult subject of why he was so uncomfortable in the lab. He’d been there before, though not often, and not for long. 

“The Winter Soldier was a glorified laboratory experiment,” James said. It was easier to talk to Darcy about this, then it had been with anyone else. She listened, but didn’t stare at him, like she was assessing. She just let him talk, no judgement. “When they weren’t training me, they were experimenting.”

“You don’t have a problem with the gym,” Darcy rationalized. 

“I don’t know, maybe because gyms came before the Soldier,” James shrugged. “I was in basic, and in the Army before, but my memories of labs are all from being in HYDRA’s hands.”

“Okay,” Darcy just accepted what he said. “So, what do we do to make my lab less of a lab and more comfortable for you?”  
“What does it matter?”

“I want you to be able to go anywhere you want in the Tower that you want,” she smiled at him reassuringly. “This is your home too.”

“I don’t like white,” he told her. “White and steel and sterol is how all those labs where. Metal equipment I didn’t understand that whipped my mind and conditioned my brain.”

“So, let’s paint.” Darcy’s entire face lit up. “Paint and cozy furniture, and pillows. We’ll start tomorrow.”

Darcy dragged him down to the lab the next morning, dressed in an old ratty pair of jeans that where more hole then fabric, and t-shirt with the arms ripped off. She already had all the paint and brushes, the lab equipment covered in drop cloths. James hesitated in the doorway for a moment, but then followed her in. He was with Darcy. Not HYDRA.

“Okay,” Darcy handed him a paint brush, and took a roller. “Have you done this before?”

“Yes, Doll face,” James laughed. “I’ve painted a room before.”

“Good, that’ll save some time,” she poured some violently purple paint into a tray. “You edge, I’ll roll.” She pointed to the corner nearest the door. “We’ll work our way around.”

Darcy figured she’d ease him around the room. This was totally a win win situation, not only did she get her lab customized, and with help, but spending this much time would desensitize him to the lab. It took hours to work their way around. After a few hours of mindless brushing and ideal chatter, Darcy tipped over her roller, that had been balanced precariously on the edge of a ladder, leaving a bright purple streak down the back of James’ head.

“Fantastic,” he rubbed his fingers through the back of his head, coming away with purple paint. “This is going to be a pain to wash out.” Darcy hung onto the rungs of the ladder giggling. He swiped his full brush down the leg of her jeans.

“Hey,” Darcy lifted the fabric away from her leg, it had soaked right though.

“Fairs, fair.” It degraded from there, and ended with Darcy using a small brush to paint James metal arm completely purple, all but the star, while he laughed at her rapid blinking, keeping the paint in her hair from dripping into her eyes. “You missed a spot,” he took his ran his brush over the star, inadvertently smearing paint into the joints.

“Oh, that’s going to suck,” Darcy laughed. “Well, I guess it was better in concept then practice.”

Darcy dragged an old couch out of storage into the lab, once it was dry, and the paint smell had safely cleared. James helped her fill one corner with brightly colored floor pillows. The violent riot of color turned the lab space into a something unlike any laboratory HYDRA’d ever subjected him to. He liked the couch.

The indicator light at the top of his tablet blinked, letting him know the battery was about to die. Instead of searching for the cord, which was probably buried under a pile of clothes in his room, he just clicked it off. As much as he’d enjoyed most of the show Darcy’d assigned him, MASH made him jittery. She’d been hesitant to have him watch it, but the Korean War was a significant event in American History, and the comedy factor in MASH made it more non-threatening then more explicit war histories.  
James hopped up onto Darcy’s work bench and scratched at a bit of stubborn purple paint just below his elbow joint on his metal arm. It had been ridiculous getting all the paint out of the joints, but some of the surface paint just didn’t want to give up. His star was still mostly purple, and now clashed with itself. It was funny until the shit refused to wash off.

Darcy had her head bowed over the hollow pad installed on half of her bench, manipulating and tossing away little balls of light.  
“What are you doing,” he picked paint out from under his finger nail with a bowie knife he retrieved from his boot.

“Playing with Friday,” Darcy tossed a ball of light into a glowing trashbin.

“Playing what?” he scooted closer trying to understand what she was manipulating.

“I’m playing with her code,” Darcy sighed and threw the whole thing back onto her screen and clicked out. “I’m trying to make her suck less. I miss JARVIS.” She pushed back from the station. “Where did you get that knife from?” He’d been curled up on the couch for more than an hour; it couldn’t have been comfortable with a knife that size.

James pulled the edge of his boot out, showing her the sheath that was hidden on the inside. “My knife skills are some of the few things from my Soldier days that I don’t mind keeping up.”

“Teach me?” Darcy gave him her best doe eyes.

“Only if you also learn some hand to hand,” he said. It wouldn’t be a horrible idea for her to be able to defend herself a bit.

“Done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions for songs are appreciated.  
> Thank you to everyone who have left Kudos and Comments.


	4. Everlong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by FooFighters' Everlong.  
> Made possible by the wonderful animation of Despicable Me 2, which has kept my wonderful child entertained for the past few hours.

Equilibrium

Chapter 4: Everlong

James tried to keep the nightmares from Darcy. Not that he thought she wouldn’t understand, but he didn’t want her to get that look on her face, the look that Steve gave him when he thought James wasn’t looking. He didn’t want Darcy to feel that pity and sadness that made his heart break every time he was with Steve. He knew that HYDRA had broken something inside of him that could never be the same again, that part of him that Steve needed.

The nightmares came nearly every night, and James thanked who ever had thought to sound proof every room in the Tower. He didn’t have to worry about waking anyone up, and Darcy, unlike Steve, respected his space. He knew Steve meant well, he really did just want James to recover, but the way he went about it felt so forceful. He was constantly checking on him and following him around and asking those questions that he wasn’t ready to face. Darcy let James come to her. It was such a relief. But he knew he couldn’t hide forever. There would be that moment, just one moment, when he would forget to school his face, or lock his door, or fall too deeply into sleep in the common room, and Darcy would start asking questions.

He slipped up two weeks before Christmas. Jane and Thor had finally gotten back and the Tower brimmed with life at all hours of the day. Darcy and Jane had a girl’s night in the apartment, and Thor invited James to spend time in the common room. Jane had taught her hulking paramour to play pool, and he played with a wild abandon the likes of which had probably never before been seen on Midgard. Thor’s Asgardian Ale was the first thing that had made any dent in his Serum enhanced alcohol resistance. Thor had tried to explain the difference between alcohol and the inhibitor that was in the ale, but the extreme science jargon was beyond James’ understanding. Surficet to say, he got nice and drunk, and forgot to shut the door to his bedroom.

The dreams where always the same, the machine they used to shock his brain, the freezer, and the struggle to reconnect the images he found floating freely in his mind, with actual names and context. He was always chasing his life down a long hallway, every door was locked and he could hear voices, but they couldn’t or refused to hear him. Fleeting shapes would ghost down the hallway, only to have them disappear behind doors that he would bang on until his hands were bloody, screaming and crying for them to open up.

Darcy heard howling coming from the next room. At first she couldn’t tell what it was, she lay stiff in her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin, a habit from her childhood. If she was fully covered, whatever was out there couldn’t get her. But the howls turned to gut wrenching screams of the deepest agony, and Darcy crept out of bed, and looked out her door. James kept his locked tight, and she didn’t ask, but hers was always open. She peered down the short hallway and saw a glow coming from her friends usually closed door. She knew he slept with the light on and that he had trouble falling asleep completely. She could see the shadows chasing under the door late into the night, he would talk to her about it if and when he was ever ready. But today his wild pleas pulled her down the hallway, and into his privet space. Now that he’d fully moved into Darcy’s apartment the room was the same mass of chaos that his room at Steve’s had been. She was almost afraid to walk across the floor, worried that she’d step on something she shouldn’t. He had knife sheaths piled up on the dresser in a haphazard way that assured her that he knew exactly where each one was, and could reach for it without looking; his night stand was no different. His bed was pushed up against the two inside walls of the room, facing the door, in fact every piece of furniture was positioned so that he had a clear view of the doorway no matter where in the room he was.

The sheets had been torn off the bed, his pillow was clear across the room, and she picked it up on her way to the thrashing figure, barely keeping himself on the king sized bed.

“James,” she called as she made her way over to him, and the thrashing paused for a moment before resuming. “James, I’m coming over to you.” He went completely still when she touched his arm, and gently pushed his pillow back under his head. She picked the blanket up off the floor and draped it over his body. His face visibly relaxed as she crawled over him and up against the headboard. She settled a pillow behind her back and ran her fingers through his hair, something her mom had done for her when she was small and had a bad dream. James abandoned his pillow for her lap, and started snoring lightly. She fell asleep with her fingers in his hair.

James was gone when she woke up the next morning, but the sound of the shower running down the hall reassured her. She carefully picked her way through his messy room, and back down the hall into her own.

Showered and dressed, James greeted her like every morning, a steaming cup of coffee in hand, and lightly toasted pop tarts on a plate. She’d never bothered with plates before James moved in, but something about his pre-World War II upbringing demanded the use of plates, and sitting at the dinner table. He’d been horrified to realize that she ate most of her meals off the kitchen island, usually while on her computer. He’d fixed that quickly. Also getting dressed and ready before sitting at the table, you apparently must wear pants at the table, and not put on your make up while eating breakfast. He’d made a list. It was on the fridge, because she couldn’t seem to remember his rules.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he said, looking deeply into his mug, as if it might hold the answers to the universe, or at least the answers to how to have this conversation.

“No reason to be sorry,” Darcy took a long drink of her coffee, ready to take on the day. “Everyone has nightmares, and you come by them honestly.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” James refilled his coffee, and rinsed his plate, putting it in the dishwasher. He was a little in love with the dishwasher, he hated washing dishes. 

“No worries,” she gave him a big genuine smile. “I’m sure I’ve woken you up plenty of times, we’re even now.”

“You don’t have any questions?”

“Plenty,” Darcy nodded, her mind was filled with questions, what was his nightmare about, what could she do to help, what would make things easier on him, but she kept them to herself. She’d read his file, she knew enough about what they’d done to him, how they’d shocked him over and over, stripped him of his memories and personally. She even understood how they’d done it, what she didn’t know, is how he’d gotten it all back. “But those can wait; you’ll tell me when you want to.” She wiped the crumbs off her fingers and took her plate to the sink. “I’m thinking we need to challenge Jane and Thor to a game of Mario Cart.”

James couldn’t help but let out the breath he’d been holding. “Sure,” he smiled. This was exactly why he cared for her so much, no pressure to be perfect, no forced interrogation, she didn’t want him to remember things that were still tenues connections to his life before HYDRA, just an easy smile, and an invitation to tell her or not tell her anything.

Thor was horrible at Mario Cart. He also wasn’t’ allowed to drive, so that probably had something to do with it. While James was already passing the finish line, which prompted Darcy to spontaneously start dancing to the ridiculous electronic music, Jane was coaching Thor as to how to stay on the track, Wario flying off the track for probably the hundredth time, the sad little cloud rescue bringing him back onto the track.

“My tiny warrior is not very good,” Thor frowned at his cart navigated itself back into the river. “He does not seem to be able to stay on the cartoon road.”

“That’s because you aren’t steering,” Darcy could barely contain her mirth. “You have to turn the wheel, not just press the go button.”

“The warrior cannot steer his stead on his own?” His frown deepened. “He is not well trained.”

“You explain it to him,” Darcy said to James, who had lost his battle with his laughter, and was nearly falling off the couch.  
“I don’t think he can, Darce,” Jane smiled from her spot on the floor in front of Thor. “I think we’ve incapacitated your soldier.”  
“If James can figure out how to use video games, when he was born fifty years before they came around, then I’m sure that the heir to the throne of Asgard can figure it out, too,” Darcy muttered under her breath. James patted her on the head, while still holding his side, trying to stop the cramp he was getting.

“I abdicated the throne,” Thor corrected.

“I don’t think that was the point, buddy,” James managed between chuckles and hiccups. “We’ll work on it.”

“Thank you my friend,” Thor nodded. “I will conquer this Rainbow Road.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the suggestions, the kind comments, and the criticism, it was all very constructive, and I appreciate it. Let me know what you like, what you don't, and what you'd like to see next.


	5. Put Your Arms Around Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Put Your Arms Around Me by Texas.  
> Sorry this took so long for me to get out. I had the first draft written on Monday, and was intending to finish it off on Monday night and posting, but ironically, I came down with the flu, and this is the first time I've felt like doing anything except watch BBC's Merlin in four days. It's a little shorter than usual, I had another half planned but not yet written, but it'll just have to be next chapter. Enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 5: Put Your Arms Around Me

James woke to the sound of Darcy’s phone ringing. He rubbed his eyes and rolled off the couch, groping along the coffee table for the offending piece of technology, without fully opening his eyes. It stopped ringing before he found it, so he pulled the pillow back under his head, not bothering with the blanket tangled around his legs.

The phone started ringing again. James buried his head under the pillow, the rough carpet covering the living room floor biting into his forehead. “Darcy,” he bellowed his head still under the pillow. “Your phones ringing.” He listened, but no response. He slowly extracted himself from his cocoon and picked up the phone. “It’s Pepper; did you want me to bring you the phone?” The apartment was so quiet it was eerie. The stillness was unnerving after living with Darcy for almost three weeks he’d become so used to the constant exuberance that she exuded. James gave up on his nap and padded through the apartment on sock feet, making his way to her door, listening closely. The phone exploded to life again.

“Darcy, its ringing again,” a third call from Pepper, it had to be something important. “Should I answer for you? It’s Pepper again.” He couldn’t hear any movement from his friend’s room. “Okay, I’m answering.” James accepted the call just before it went to voicemail. “Hi Pepper, it’s James.”

“Hello, James,” Pepper sounded just as crisply put together on the phone as she appeared in person, though anyone who had to manage both Tony Stark and Stark Industries had to be pretty stable. “Do you mind giving me to Darcy?” James had only really met Pepper once at thanksgiving, but Darcy spoke glowingly of her pseudo step mother.

“I think she’s having a hard time getting up this morning,” though every morning was a challenge, at least until coffee was introduced. Darcy’d never ignored a phone call before, her phone and her iPod where he lifelines.

“Have you checked on her?” Pepper did her best not to sound concerned, but a little worry seeped through into her crisp, clean voice.

“I’ve been calling out to her,” James knocked on the door. “I haven’t gone in and checked on her, though.”

“If she’s not answering and you haven’t seen her,” James would have known if she’d left the apartment, any small noise in the living room would have easily woken to him, Soldier leftovers he wasn’t entirely upset about possessing. “She’s probably sick.” Pepper sighed, realizing that Darcy probably wouldn’t be available for a few days. “Tell her to call me when she’d feeling better.”

James stowed the phone in his back pocket. “Darcy are you in there?” He knocked on the door again. “Darcy can I come in?” Pressing his ear to the door, he listened for any kind of movement. “Friday,” James called to the new Tower AI. “What’s Darcy’s location?”

“Ms. Lewis is currently in her bedroom,” the computerized female voice answered. James hated using the AI; he’d never admit to it, but the voice kind of creeped him out.

“Darcy, I’m coming in.” The room was dark; all the curtains were pulled across the ceiling to floor windows, the weak December sun barely getting any light through the heavy draperies. The room was stuffy and way too warm. The only sign of life was the brown hair poking out from the lump of heavy blankets on Darcy’s bed. James gently pulled the blankets back to reveal the sleeping Darcy, sweat plastering her long hair to her face. He could feel the heat radiating off her forehead, he gently laid the back of his hand against her forehead. “Jesus, Darce, you’re burning up.”

James slowly walked back to the kitchen, determined to make his Ma’s chicken soup. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d made it, but it always made Steve feel better when he got another cold or pneumonia again. “Friday, please decrease the temperature in Darcy’s room by three degrees and keep the air circulating.” He couldn’t open the seventieth story windows, but that was no excuse for it to be stuffy.

He rummaged through the cabinets in Darcy’s kitchen, before foraging in the communal kitchen upstairs, looking for all the ingredients for his soup, finally asking Friday to have the missing ingredients delivered to Darcy’s apartment. He set a pot to boil, and started on the chicken stock while he waited.

Waking Darcy proved to be more difficult than anticipated. James placed the Tylenol and glass of water on her night stand ad sat on the edge of the bed, gently shaking her and rubbing her back. Darcy just groaned and turned over. It took a great deal of coaxing, and finally opening the drapes, but he finally got her to take the pills and convinced her to drink the entire glass of water. She fell back to sleep without a word, burrowing back under the blankets.

James brought a steaming bowl of soup into the dark room a few hours later, placing it neatly on the bed stand and pulling the sleeping Darcy up against a pile of pillows; he’d learned through trial and error that no amount of gentle coaxing would rouse her from her illness induced sleep, but a little force made her partially compliant, and vigilance and too much light kept her awake. 

The soup did wonders for her color, and she smiled her thanks before cuddling up against his cool metal shoulder and fell into another deep sleep. James ran his fingers though her tangled mass of hair as he pulled out his latest homework assignment, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, his arms gently folded around her sleeping form. James let her sleep, while he read, and sipped at the tea she’d turned her nose up at.

It took a few days, but he could feel when she was better, like a miasma of smog lifted from the apartment and the sun shown again. Darcy shuffled from her room and made grabby hands at a cup of coffee he’d been preparing for himself, and disappeared again. All was right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for all the love and support. Please keep leaving comments and suggestions.


	6. Dance Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy, and a little too much time alone in my car.

Equilibrium

Chapter 6: Dance Dance

Darcy was restless after several days sick in bed and months of feeling cooped up in the Tower, not that she couldn’t leave, she just hadn’t had a reason. But now she needed to get out. Her fingers itched as they danced across the keyboard, an idea sprouting from the back of her mind.

She returned from her lab just minutes before noon, striding thought the door with a wild swagger. “Get dressed,” Darcy pushed her roommate off the couch, where he was finishing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. “We’re going out.”  
“I’m not supposed to,” James told her, dejected, sitting back on the couch with his book.

“What do you mean, you’re not supposed to?” Darcy just looked at him while he peered into his book. “Let me guess, our dear friend, the asshat, Steve said no leaving.”

James shrugged, “he’s got Friday watching me.” 

“You have got to be joking,” Darcy flopped onto the couch, feeling her carefully constructed great idea falling through the cracks. “You’re a grown ass man,” she sighed then jumped up. “You’re an ex-Russian assassin, sneak us out.”

James turned the page, completely unruffled by her exuberance. “I was an assassin,” he said. “I usually went in shooting and came out the same way, sometimes with grenades.” He flipped through the pages, counting the number until the end of the chapter. “Your dad already doesn’t like me; he’ll like me less if I blow up his shiny tower.”

“Okay,” Darcy sat back down, thinking. She wasn’t going to give up on her grand plan just yet. “I’ll sneak up out, hand me my tablet.” James cocked and eyebrow at her, but handed it to her. Darcy’s fingers flew across the screen, putting the cameras in the hall and elevator on a loop and shutting down Friday, making it look like a maintenance restart. “Get dressed,” Darcy tossed the tablet on the coffee table and pulled the book from James’ hands. “We have a fifteen minute window before Friday restarts.” James shrugged and started towards his room. Steve would be pissed if he found out, but Darcy was right. He was a grown ass man.

Sneaking out of the Tower proved much easier then either anticipated, with Friday temporarily incapacitated, no one even thought to stop them. Darcy and James walked right out the front door, hand in hand, James’ left hand in the pocket of the Thor memorabilia limited edition hoodie that Darcy had given him. He liked it.

Darcy found an old arcade a few blocks over from the Tower, it wasn’t anything fancy but it had a few racing games, Pac-Man and Dance Dance Revolution. It also had the ubiquitous first person shooters, but neither Darcy nor James was particularly interested. At just after lunch on a Tuesday, the place was practically empty. Darcy fed money into the change machine while James took a quick look around. He told himself that he was just looking at what they had, if he made note of the exits and did a quick assessment of everyone in the arcade, that was just a coincidence. Darcy just smirked, not at all convinced by his forced casual demeanor. With the room reconned, James relaxed enough to join Darcy at the brightly lit Dance Dance Revolution consoles.

“Is this why we’re here?” James watched the screens little cartoon people jerking erratically.

“Yep,” Darcy stepped up onto one of the platforms and indicated to James to join her on the one to her right. “Stand in the middle, on the screen arrows will appear, you step on the corresponding arrow when it gets to the top.” James nodded. “We’ll start slow.”

Natasha landed the Helicarior on the landing pad at Avenger Tower. Steve and Tony were off before she even had a chance to power down. Steve strode into his apartment, mildly noting its cleanliness, since Bucky’d before such a slob. He tossed his shield down on the couch and knocked on Bucky’s door. “Hey Buck,” Steve called through the closed door. “We’re back.” He waited a moment and got no response. He opened the door without further preamble. The room was immaculate. No clothes on the floor, bed made, not a single firearm to be seen. Steve felt his heart jump into his throat. He swallowed heavily, trying to force the lump back down. He pulled the first drawer he reached, almost not surprised to find it empty. “Friday, where has Bucky been staying if not here?”

“Mr. Barnes is staying in his room, Captain Rogers,” the metallic voice rang through the empty apartment.

“I’m standing in Bucky’s room, it empty,” Steve told the AI.

“With all due respect, Captain Rogers, Mr. Barnes’ room is on the seventieth floor in the apartment he shares with Ms. Lewis.”

“What do you mean in the apartment he shares with Ms. Lewis?”

“I’m sorry, Captain Rogers, that information is not on file.”

“Stupid AI,” Steve muttered under his breath. He missed JARVIS. “Where is Bucky right now?” Steve asked, addressing Friday again.

“Mr. Barnes is not currently inside of Avenger Tower.”

“He is restricted to the Tower, why wasn’t he stopped from leaving,” Steve had the urge to hit something; Bucky was in no shape to be wondering around New York on his own.

“That information is not available.” This time Steve didn’t suppress his urge to put his fist through something. His right arm went through the wall of his guest room, right into the hallway.

“You think you could locate Tony for me?” Steve shouted at the AI.

“Sir is currently in his Lab.”

Steve tracked down Tony easily and filled him in on the latest development with Bucky.

“Friday, could you locate Darcy?” Tony asked through clenched teeth.

“Ms. Lewis is not currently inside Avenger Tower.”

“Please activate the GPS on Darcy’s phone.”

“Ms. Lewis has deactivated the GPS on her phone, she also asked for me to pass on this message,” on the screen in the lab Friday brought up a pre-recorded message. An angry looking Darcy glared though the screen. “Tony, I’m a grown ass adult who does not need or want you tracking me by my phone. It’s nice that you want to play the protective father, but you missed the rebellious teen years, back off.”

“Friday, please activate the GPS on Darcy’s iPod.” The screen changed to show a map of Manhattan. A red dot a few blocks away, blinked. “Thank you, Friday. Please inform me if she changes location.”

“Yes, sir.”

It didn’t take more than ten minutes to locate Darcy at the arcade. Tony watched in disbelief as she and Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, jumped and hoped to the beat, clearly winning at DDR. Tony was a little impressed, and a lot pissed off.

“You snuck out to play DDR with the fucking Winter Soldier?” Both Darcy and James froze in place, turning slowly to see Tony glaring, his hands on his hips, trying very hard to look like an angry parent. Darcy rolled her eyes.

“Tony, there are children present,” well one child, halfway across the arcade, feeding quarters into the Pac-Man machine.

“And you brought a Russian Assassin,” Tony shouted. Darcy cringed, putting her hand over James’ on the railing.

“No,” Darcy said calmly and quietly. “I brought my friend James.” She looked at her watch. “Wow, four hours ago. No wonder I’m tired. You suck for not breaking a sweat, by the way,” Darcy glared playfully at her friend. “You brought the Hulk.” She told Tony.

“I’m just here to observe,” Bruce waved. “It gets boring in the Tower, sometimes.”

“It’s good to see you out of the lab, Bruce.” Darcy smiled at the doctor.

“It’s always nice to see you, Darce.” Bruce gave Darcy a half smile. “Mr. Barnes, you look better.”

“I was feeling better, too. Up until a few minutes ago,” James looked around, knowing Steve must be close. “I assume you’re here to bring me back to the Tower?”

“Damn skippy,” Tony said. “You and my meddling daughter. I know you messed with Friday, Darcy.”

“Steve had James confined to the Tower,” Darcy shook her head. “He had James on twenty four seven supervision. He treats him like a child when he’s in town and completely ignores his existence when he’s upstate. It’s time for James to make his own decisions.”

“And you drag him out into a city he no longer knows, around people he’s not comfortable with,” Steve shouted from where he’d been quietly escorting people out of the arcade.

“Five people,” Darcy shouted back. “None of whom were behind us at any time; all were either kids or the owner, who’s got to be like a hundred.” She linked arms with James and started for the front entrance.

“You put every one of those people in danger,” Steve told her as they passed.

“You’re an asshat,” James told Steve, then looked at Darcy, who was holding her hands over her mouth, trying to keep her laughter in.

“Yep,” she smiled. “You’re absolutely right.” James smiled back at his friend. He liked the look on Steve’s face, all red and squished. Darcy taught him the best insults.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support. Please don't forget to leave a comment if you are so moved. It feeds the writer in me.


	7. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by Monster by Skillet.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love.

Equilibrium

Chapter 7: Monster

“You know Doll,” James said, his arm still linked as they walked down the crowded street as casually as they could, while being followed by an angry Ironman and Captain America, and a mildly amused Bruce Banner. “As much fun as this was, that wasn’t real dancing. Not at all, in fact.”

Darcy stifled a laugh. “Oh course it’s not real dancing,” she rested her head against his shoulder, the fabric of his sweatshirt warm against her wind chilled cheek. “It’s just a video game.”

“Next time,”” James said, pushing her wind-blown hair behind her ear. “I’m going to take you somewhere we can really dance.”  
“Already planning our next escape?” Tucking herself further into the warm shelter of his body.

“I didn’t realize how cooped up I felt, until I had the whole city open to me,” he told her. “I needed today.”

“Not just today,” Darcy insisted. “We’re putting an end to this ludicrous house arrest crap.”

“You take such good care of me,” James looked down at the small woman curled into his side, who was more than happy to walk down the street at his side. “For a foul mouthed little girl.”

“You take care of me, too,” Darcy told him, sobered a bit by the serious turn of the conversation. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“You mean they’re not supposed to forcefully lock you up in their high tech tower and hound you to get your brain together and when you don’t do it their way, go and pout in upstate New York with their fancy super hero friends?”

“I’m so going to yell at him when we get home,” she frowned and hugged him tighter.

“I think I need to do it myself,” James set his face in resolve. It was time for him to stick up for himself.

“Good,” Darcy was proud of how far her friend had come in just a few weeks. “I’m here if you want some back up.”

“It’s always advantageous to go into a fight with back up,” James agreed. “But let me do the talking.”

They walked into the tower, heads held high, followed by Tony and Steve stalking close behind, with Bruce walking at a more sedate pace, looking a little less amused then he had when they left the arcade. The elevator ride to Darcy and James’ floor was tense, and Bruce ducked out early on an R and D floor.

Darcy threw herself down on the couch, and propped her feet up on the coffee table. James stalked over to the window, without Darcy’s hand grounding him, his agitation level sky rocketed. He paced the length of the wall of windows.

“What the hell were you thinking, Bucky?” Steve burst into the apartment, without so much as a knock. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you to go out?”

“None at all, Stevie,” James shot back, the servos on his arm jumping, his left hand twitching for a gun or a knife, something to stop the itching need in the palm of his hand. “Why don’t you explain to e again how dangerous I am?” He threw himself down on the couch next to Darcy, who let out a small squeak at his sudden movement. “Tell Darcy here how I’m a ticking time bomb who needs constant super vision, how I’m a loose cannon, or how I have to be taken care of like a god damned infant because I’m not recovering fast enough from seven decades of brain washing and conditioning, and let’s not forget torture. Please Stevie; tell me again, because I think there might be someone in this entire fucking tower that may have forgotten what a scary assassin I am.”

Darcy took his hand, which was clutching at the seat cushion and squeezed it lightly. “People are looking for you, Buck,” the wind had dropped a bit from Steve’s high horse. “Not just HYDRA, but you’re wanted in several countries, I’m barely keeping our own government from storming the Tower and locking you up, I’m trying to protect you.”

“By locking me up? A gilded cage is still a cage.” James said. Darcy tried not to roll her eyes at Steve’s presumptuousness. “I’m not a child, Steve. I’m an adult, and if you took the time to treat me like a person and not some kind of fucked up project, you’d see how much better I am.” He kissed the top of Darcy’s head and stalked to his room closing the door gently but firmly. He didn’t need to answer to Steve, and he certainly didn’t want to stick around and get yelled at like some naughty child.

“Good job, Steve,” Darcy gave him a sarcastic thumbs up. “You know, he was doing really well, up until you and the father of the year pissed all over our party.”

“You were stupid to take him out of here,” Steve told her. “It was reckless and I expected better of you.”

“You thought better of me?” Darcy burst off the couch and stalked over to Steve, poking her finger into the middle of his chest. “You’re his best friend, all he wants from you is acceptance, and you baby him and belittle him and punish him for not getting better the way you think he should,” Darcy pushed him back to the windows, his back hitting with a dull thud. “If you took five seconds to pay attention, you’d see how in love he is with you, and how much you’re hurting him by acting like a giant dickwad.” Darcy stalked out of the room and slammed her door so hard the windows rattled. She had not need whatsoever to prove how much of an adult she was, and it felt awesome to take a little frustration out on the door.

Steve jumped at the sound of the door and looked over at a shell shocked Tony. “She’s pissed,” Tony said unnecessarily. “I wouldn’t want to be you right now.”

“She said he loves me,” Steve shook his head, wide eyed.

“If Darcy said it,” Tony was a bit surprised too. “Then you can be sure it’s true. She wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” Darcy’s mom had been the same way, sometimes the brain to mouth filter didn’t work, but it came out of her mouth, it was the gods honest truth, whether you want to hear It or not. Tony shrugged. “The question is, what are you going to do about it.”

“What I should have done more than seventy years ago,” he turned on his heel and went down the hall to Bucky’s door. He looked at it for a moment before walking in without knocking. James was sitting in a plush chair, a book in his hand, looking out the window. The room wasn’t nearly as messy as he’d kept the room in Steve’s apartment, but it was still messy.

“Steve,” Bucky stood and put the book down on his night stand. “I’m really not interested in fighting anymore.”

“I’m not here to fight,” Steve walked up to his friend and slid his fingers through Bucky’s hair, pressing his lips against the brunettes, before Bucky could react. For a moment, Bucky let him, savoring the feeling of Steve’s lips sliding against his, before pushing Steve away. “Darcy said you loved me,” Steve looked confused.

“I do,” Bucky said, keeping his hand on his friend’s chest. “But you certainly haven’t earned any kisses with the way you’ve been acting.” He went to walk out of the room, needing space between them. The room suddenly felt like all the air was being sucked out. “Fix your attitude, Steve, or stay the hell away from me.” Bucky looked back from the open doorway. Steve looked so lost standing a midst the belongings Bucky’d amassed over his short time with Darcy; picture frames and novelty Avenger paraphernalia that Darcy loved so much, running shoes that replaced his combat boots, a Bucky Barnes Teddy Bear she’d found online at the Smithsonian Gift Shop, complete with a little sergeant’s hat, and a gun safe, tightly shut, because Darcy said all the loose guns and knives everywhere made her nervous. “And leave Darcy alone. She wasn’t done anything to you, and she certainly doesn’t deserve you acting like a giant dick to you.” He walked out, closed the door, and leaned back against it, trying to catch his run away heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to let me know what you think. I'm not a fan of writing confrontation, and there's going to be some major conflict over the next several chapters.


	8. Daylight Dancer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Daylight Dancer by Lacuna Coil.
> 
> Okay, so this was supposed to be the chapter where James and Darcy went dancing, but James had other ideas. We'll go dancing next chapter.

Equilibrium

Chapter 8: Daylight Dancer

By the time the weekend rolled around, James was itching to get out of the Tower again. It was amazing how one little taste of freedom made him hungry for more. That and he’d been cooped up in Darcy’s apartment for most of the week, not wanting to run into Steve, not wanting to fight or deal with the aftermath of their kiss.

“Let’s go dancing,” James flopped down on the couch next to Darcy, who was busy on her laptop, probably doing some actual work for Stark Industries, she and her father might not have been talking, but Darcy genuinely cared about her work, even if she wasn’t going up to her lab at this point. She’d told him that giving an over protecting Tony some space would cool him off. James thought she was hiding, same as he was.

“Dancing?” Darcy asked absent mindedly, her fingers flying across the keyboard. “There’s a club down the street.” It wasn’t exactly what she figured that James had in mind, but they played less poppy club music, and a fair share of good old fashioned classic rock.

“Let’s go,” James said, pulling the computer out of her hands.

“It’s two in the afternoon,” she pulled the computer back. “The club won’t even open until like nine.”

“And we have to have dinner,” James reasoned, trying again to take the computer.

“Yeah, so we leave at seven for dinner,” she pulled the computer fully into her lap. “That’s still five hours away. How long do you think it’s going to take me to get ready?”

“I don’t know,” James said. “I’ve always just picked the girls up, I never saw them actually get ready, but the pictures always made it seem like it took hours.”

“It’s a new day and age,” Darcy said, going back to her work. “Women wear pants, we vote, we even have our own jobs.” She gestured towards her laptop. “We don’t have all day to get ready, old man.”

James just grunted and crossed his arms. What the hell was he supposed to do for the next five hours? Darcy flicked her remote at the TV, pulling up Netflix, and starting up Once Upon a Time. James stopped pouting.

At five thirty, due to James’ obsessive badgering, Darcy sat on the couch, putting on a pair of strappy heels. James stepped out of his room, buttoning the cuffs of his black dress shirt, his shoes polished to a high shine and his hair a mess.

“See,” Darcy stood up and twirled, the effect only slightly diminished by the fact that she was wearing skinny jeans. “All ready, just one hour.”

“You’re wearing pants?” James asked, looking a little disappointed, Darcy’s face fell. “I mean, you look very nice, but dancing should require a skirt.”

“Fine,” Darcy kicked off her heels and stalked to her room, in search of a skirt she thought James would approve of. She dug through her closet for the short black, flippy skirt that Jane had insisted on her buying on their last shopping trip, despite the fact that Darcy couldn’t imagine ever wearing it, she just wasn’t that excited about showing off her thighs in public, but it was the only one she could think of that would be suitable for dancing. She stripped off the skinny jeans and pulled on the skirt before going back into the living room. “Better?”

“Much,” he walked around her, appraising. Darcy put her hands on her hips while he touched the edges of the skirt, making it swing gently, before flipping the skirt up.

“Whoa,” Darcy spun around, smoothing her hands over her butt. “Just because you’re my hot gay friend, does not make it okay for you to lift up the back of my skirt.”

“I’m not gay, Darcy,” he scratched the back of his neck, frowning. “It’s not like I haven’t seen your ass before.” He angled her back towards her room. “But I’d prefer it if the rest of the world doesn’t have the opportunity to count the freckles you do or don’t have there.” He shut the door behind her. “Go cover those cheeks.”

Darcy reemerged a few moments later, her hands over her butt, just daring him to try and peek again. James rolled his eyes. “Oh, please,” she sat back down on the couch to put her heels back on. “You’ve so far gone on Captain America, it’s insane. Not to mention the fact that after he kissed you, you were a quivering mess for like three hours.”

“Just because I’m more than a little interested in some serious Steve action, does not mean I’m gay,” James said, sitting down next to her. “I’d be just as happy for a little Darcy action.” Darcy blushed a deep red. “Or didn’t you see the Smithsonian exhibit.”

“Beards,” Darcy countered, adjusting her heels and standing up.

“I’ve been with my fair share of women, Darce,” James said, twirling her slowly on the carpet in front of the couch. “I don’t think its gender I’m attracted to, but the person.”

Darcy kissed his clean shaven cheek. “Welcome to the modern world, Old timer.”

“Are you going to be able to dance on those things?” He asked, looking down towards her feet.

“I may not be the worlds most coordinated person, but I think I can manage not to step on your toes too often.”

“I mean the heels,” James pulled her into a quick box step, her feet wobbling a bit on a few steps. “Take them off,” he pulled her back to her bedroom and deposited her on her bed, before sticking his head in her closet. “You’ve got to have a hundred pairs of shoes in here,” he said in amazement.

“Yeah,” Darcy said, throwing herself back on the bed and looking up at the ceiling, which had recently been given the glowey star treatment by Jane, a completely accurate star chart thanks to her slightly crazy best friend. “Tony’s been compensating.”  
“He can come compensate my wardrobe anytime.” He looked through the boxes, before settling on a pair of patent leather two inch heals with a strap. “Here, these will stay put, and they’ll be nice and solid to stand on.”

“Any other requests, or am I acceptable?” Darcy sassed.

“You look good enough to eat,” James flashed her his best charming, Bucky Barnes smile.

“Only if you buy me dinner first,” Darcy linked her arm though his. “Let’s do something about that hair.” She sat him down on the floor in front of the couch, and sat behind him, running her hands through his beautifully thick hair. “You know, we should as Jane and Thor to join us.” She wove the thick strands of his hair into a tight French braid, tucking a few loose strands back under the woven pattern, and securing it with a hair tie that she had around her wrist. “Thor is always up for learning new things about Midgardian Culture.”

“That sounds good,” James ran his hands down her calves, which bracketed his body. “Don’t dames wear stockings anymore?”

“I don’t know anyone who owns them,” Darcy laughed, kicking her leg over his head and standing up. “No one wears stockings anymore.”

“That’s too bad,” James looked up at her, her black skirt flaring over her hips, and her deep burgundy top that covered so little it should have been illegal, especially with breasts like hers. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’d be up to some serious Darcy action. “Or maybe it’s better this way. A pair of stockings with a seam up the back, I don’t know if I could make it out of the apartment.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “I’m going to call Jane.”

“And pull your hair back,” James smiled.

“Let me now when you’re done playing ‘Dress me up Darcy.’” She picked up her phone and dialed Jane, while he lifted her heavy mane of hair off her neck and twisted it into a tight bun at the base of her neck, securing it with a hair band from her wrist.

Jane answered on the second ring; Darcy could hear her smile through the phone as she answered. “You ready to break your self-imposed hibernation?”

“James and I are going to Club Grunge,” Darcy laughed. “We wanted you two to join us.”

“I’d love to,” Jane said, thinking about James and Thor’s reactions to Club Grunge. “But we were going to get dinner with Natasha and Clint, they’ve been cooped up at the Avengers Facility for a little too long, I think.”

“Bring them,” Darcy smiled. “The more the merrier, and James could probably use a few more friends.”

“Right,” Jane said. “You and James are just friends.”

“He’s in love with Steve.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Jane told her. “He looks at you like Thor looks at me, like Clint looks at Natasha when he doesn’t think anyone else is looking.”

“He does not,” Darcy shook her head, peeking back at James, who was looking through her bathroom vanity for something.  
“Keep telling yourself that,” Jane said. “I’ll call Natasha; we’ll meet you at your place in half an hour.”

Darcy hung up the phone and crept closer to her bathroom, intrigued by what James could possibly be doing. “Can I help you?”  
“Looking for pins,” James said, his head lost in her medicine cabinet.

“I don’t keep sewing supplies in the bathroom,” Darcy told him. “Actually, I don’t keep sewing supplies anywhere, I don’t sew.”

“For your hair,” James shook his head. “That bun won’t hold without some pins.”

“I’m not putting any pins in my hair,” Darcy put her foot down. “I’ve changed my skirt, my underwear, which I still don’t understand; my shoes, and I’ve let you put my hair up, you’re done.”

James triumphantly pulled a box of bobby pins out of the cabinet. “Your hair will be a mess.”

“Bobby pins?” Darcy took the box and tucked several into the bun he’d made out of her hair. “Bobby pins are different.”

“You’re gorgeous, Doll.”

She kissed his cheek and walked back to the living room. “Jane and Thor are bringing Clint and Natasha,” she called over her shoulder, not seeing her friends face go white. “They’ll be here in half an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love. Please keep sending love and suggestions.
> 
> Up next, dancing, Clint and Natasha, and a bit of culture shock for James, and Thor to a lesser degree.


	9. Dance Or Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Dance or Die by Family Force 5

Equilibrium

Chapter 9: Dance or Die

James was unusually quiet while they waited for Jane and the others to show up. He sat on the couch with his hands in his lap looking a little pale, while Darcy raced around the apartment looking for her burgundy lipstick, to match her top.

“Have you seen my lipstick?” Darcy asked, looking under the couch to see if it might have rolled away.

“You have like a hundred in your bathroom,” he said, the servos in his arm twitching slightly. Darcy wasn’t sure what he was nervous about, but he’d tell her if he wanted to. “Won't one of those work?”

“No,” Darcy stood and looked through her messenger bag again. “This one matches my top perfectly.” She dropped the bag and disappeared into her room, when there was a gentle knock at the door. “Can you get that?” She called to James, only to turn around and run face first into his chest.

“I shot her,” he whispered.

“Shot who?” Darcy whispered back, feeling only a little silly.

“Natasha,” James said looking down at his hands. “I shot her in DC.”

“And you’re nervous about seeing her again?” she asked. Texting Jane to just let herself in. “She’s not going to care.”

“What do I say to her,” he looked panicked. “How do I face her?”

“James,” she led him over to sit down on the edge of her bed. “The first time I met Thor, Jane hit him with a car and I tazed him. He’s so in love with Jane it’s crazy and he calls me his little lightning sister. You beat Steve bloody with your shiny metal fist and the last time you two were alone in a room together he kissed you. Natasha may come off a little intense, but she’s really pretty awesome. She’ll probably give you a high five for making such a good shot.” James just cocked his eyebrow. “I have weird friends. Suck it up and march that ass into the living room, I’m right behind you.”

Thor and Clint were in the kitchen, chatting quietly. Jane was digging through the contents of her purse that she’s dumped on the coffee table; Darcy snagged the lipstick she’d been looking for. “Thief,” she whispered to her friend. Jane just shrugged. Natasha lounged in the lone arm chair, her feet up on the coffee table, refreshing her lipstick with the little hand mirror Darcy’d gotten for the previous Christmas. It had a rhinestone black widow on the back.

“James,” Thor boomed from the kitchen. “It is good to see you, my friend.” Thor beamed, striding across the room and throwing his arm around the still slightly nervous looking brunette. “I must introduce you to my good friend Clint, I am sure you two will have much to converse about.” He pulled James into the kitchen, while James looked back at Darcy over his shoulder. She just gave him a thumbs up and greeted Natasha with a kiss on both cheeks, before flopping down next to Jane on the couch.

Clint held out his hand to James, who did his best to smile and take it. “It’s good to meet you, man.” Clint shook his hand firmly. “The big guy won't shut up about your Mario Kart prowess.”

James scratched the back of his neck and ducked his head. “You’ll have to join us sometime.” He relaxed a bit. “Thor is woefully awful.”

“My tiny warrior and I have disagreements on his movements,” Thor laughed. “I am much better suited to doing my own fighting.”

“No driving,” Jane called from the living room. “You crashed that alien ship into like every pillar in Asgard.”

“You drive one ship into a few dozen pillars,” Darcy laughed. “And the missus never lets you drive again.”

“Good thing we live in New York,” Clint said.

“I prefer a nice sturdy steed,” Thor admitted. “I have little affinity with metal vehicles; their lack of response to my commands vexes me.”

“Well, buddy, you’re in luck, we’re walking tonight,” Darcy hefted herself off the couch. “This is your night Jamie, what do you want to do for dinner?”

“Umm,” James looked a bit put upon. “Food?” He looked at Darcy, clearly asking for help. “I have no idea, I would have normally picked up my girl and then gone to dinner and dancing, but I don’t know how this is all done now.” James sat down on one of the kitchen stools, a little over whelmed by the number of people in the apartment, all looking at him.

“No worries,” Darcy threw her arms around his shoulders. “You picked the activity, and made sure we were both presentable.” She swished her skirt a bit.

“I told you that skirt would come in handy,” Jane smiled. “It’s super cute.”

“Thanks, Jane,” she grinned at her friend. Sometimes Jane wasn’t totally people stupid. “I say we go to that new place up the block, Pepper said their burgers are amazing.”

Dinner was interesting, James hadn’t been out to a restaurant since before HYDRA, at least not recreationally, and this one was loud and crowded and dark, it made him twitchy. At least they had a table in the corner, allowing him to watch the room. The burgers were excellent, and sitting between Darcy and Jane meant he could hold Darcy’s hand when he started to get over whelmed. She would pat his leg when she felt his shoulder start to twitch. She was happy, and that was enough.

By nine, when they made their way down to the club James was more than ready to unwind a bit. He was a little ashamed at the fact that he hadn't had any money, but Darcy waved him off and produced her Stark Industries Black Card, not letting anyone pay, it was after all, dinner out with her business associates, and she had an in with the boss.

There was a line out the door into the club, which bewildered him, but Darcy and Natasha pulled them to the front of the line, and they were let right through the door. The lights were extremely low. Darcy led him by the hand up a narrow stairway. Music, or something akin to what Darcy called music, blared through the speakers at a deafening volume. Before they even got to the top of the stairs, James’ stomach dropped; the flashing lights and the thudding sound were not what he’d been envisioning when he’d asked Darcy to go dancing.

James stood in horror at the top of the stairs, instinctively wrapping his arms around Darcy. The dance floor looked more like a battle scene set inside an Alice in Wonderland brothel; people were surging and rocking ad bumping against each other in a savage, riotous orgy of movement. He certainly didn’t see any dancing happening, not that anyone could dance to the erratic rhythms coming out of the large speakers placed around the room.

“”Wonderus,” Thor’s voice boomed and carried over the music. He lead Jane out into the mass of people without preamble, they disappeared from sight. James tightened his hold on Darcy, wishing he could bundle her up and take her away from the insanity, but she was already lost in the music, pulling him after Clint and Natasha, who had made a beeline towards the bar.

“How about a drink first?” Darcy turned in his arms and shouted in his hear. The music might have been horrendous and the lighting abysmal, but holding Darcy so close made it better.

“I don’t think alcohol will help,” he leaned down and shouted to her.

She hooked her arms around his neck and grinned. “Of course it will. Tasha will have scoped out the good vodka.”

Clint waved them over to a small hi-top table, where not only had Natasha found vodka that she found acceptable, but had managed to procure a bottle from the bar and was pouring shots into six tall shot glasses. Darcy handed him one and she saluted Natasha, who nodded back, before they both downed the full shot. Clint raised his class to James and he returned the gesture. His world felt completely upside down, but at least he had Darcy and her friends to help him through. He threw back the shot; it burned all the way down in the best way possible. He caught Natasha’s eye over the top of the shot glass. She winked. Yep, he’d be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful feedback. We'll see James and Darcy actually dance in the next chapter. And maybe everyone else too.


	10. Queen Bee and Baby Duck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by Queen Bee and Baby Duck by Eagles of Death Metal.
> 
> Enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 10: Queen Bee and Baby Duck

Darcy perched on the edge of a stool, nursing her fourth shot of vodka, warmth curling in the pit of her stomach, while she and James watched Natasha and Clint run the pool table, hustling a couple of unsuspecting college kids. She leaned back against James, her head against the cool unyielding surface of his shoulder.

“We need to dance,” Darcy said, letting him take more of her weight. “I seriously need to burn off some of this alcohol, or you’re going to be carrying me home.”

“I’m happy to dance with you, Doll,” his voice rumbled through her head. “But I’m not rubbing up against you like some rutting mutt, in a room full of strangers.”

“So teach me how you dance,” Darcy smiled, a bit of a gleam in her eye; it could have been the strobing lights. “I can rut with Jane.”

James shook his head, and then listened to the music change, the sound thumping and blaring through the room, but at least it actually had a rhythm. “Okay,” he took her by the hand and pulled her to the edge of the dance floor, and placed her hand on his shoulder, and his hand went to the small of her back, pulling her into his body. “Any girl can dance,” he told her, tipping her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. “As long as you have a good lead.” He took her other hand in his and held it close to their bodies. “Look at me, not your feet, and step were I lead.” He started slow, dancing half time to the beat of a song about some woman who seemed to be in search of a love affair that would end badly. Modern music was really strange. Darcy followed his lead easily enough as he slowly turned them in a circle. He slowly increased their speed before pushing her into a simple turn. “Stay off your heels,” he shouted in her ear as she came back to him. “It’ll make quick changes easier.”

Darcy nodded, forcing her eyes to his, and not her feet. She relaxed back into the simple step he was leading her in, trusting him not to run her into anything. She tripped up when he spun her under his arm the opposite way, but he caught her easily enough, and her low strappy heels kept her from turning an ankle. “Try that again,” she told him, as he led her back into the simple steps she’d grown comfortable with. This time she stepped neatly under his arm and back into position without incident  
“We can practice at home,” he watched her eyes shine in the lights, the edge of drunkenness shining through. “Where I don’t have to shout at you.” As the song wound down he hitched one of her legs up on his hip and locked their hands together, dipping her back. She leaned back into his other hand, knowing he’d never drop her.

Thor and Jane were at their table when they returned, Jane looking a little flushed and Thor sporting a pleased smile. Darcy took a sip of the water bottle Jane offered and hopped up on a stool.

“You dance very well, my friend,” Thor thumped James on the back, possibly a little too hard, the former Winter Soldier rocked forward a little. “I think you’d find my Jane’s style of dance much more satisfying, though.”

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for that, Big Guy,” James poured himself a shot, Darcy was right. It was helping.

“Tis your loss,” Thor conceded, taking a long drink of his beer.

Clint counted a stack of bills, with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. “Hey James,” the smaller man said, pulling his attention away from Darcy. “Can I interest you in a game of darts?”

“We don’t let him play with anyone else,” Darcy told her friend. “We got banned from a club a few months ago, because he kept hustling money from people and hogging the dart boards.”

"Isn't that what they were just doing at the pool table?" James asked, a bit perplexed.

"Not really," Natasha sat down to Darcy's right. "Clint is unbeatable at darts, his accuracy is incredible. We're merely very good at pool."

“Sure,” darts with Clint was fun, their accuracy was pretty well matched, and while there seemed to be several side bets going, they stopped keeping score after the first few games, slowly backing further and further from the board. The little plastic darts weren’t weighted particularly well, and often flew a bit erratically, but it was fun. They finally stopped when Clint noticed security eyeing them.

Darcy wasn’t at the table when they got back. James followed Thor’s line of sight. His eyes landed on Darcy, leaning back, her hair out of its bun and swinging free, her pelvis pressed intimately against Jane’s as they rocked and swayed to the erratic beat of the music. He couldn’t look away, even though he felt like he should.

“Aren’t they magnificent together,” Thor stood over his shoulder, watching unabashedly. “I was apprehensive about my Jane dancing with another in such a way, but being able to watch her is nearly as satisfying as it is to dance with her myself.” James just nodded, imagining Darcy dancing against his body. “And I would never deny my little lightning sister the pleasure of being so free.”

James swallowed thickly, following the curves of her body as she twisted and writhed. His feet were moving before he even noticed. He pulled her hips to his, holding her still against him, his fingers digging into her hips. Jane smiled at him over Darcy’s shoulder. She kissed her friend on the cheek and moved away.

Darcy turned in his arms, his fingers flexing again when she was facing him. She draped her arms around his shoulders and tried to start swaying again, but he held her fast. “Don’t move,” he said darkly into her hair. Darcy froze in his grip. “I want to be very clear,” her eyes met his; in the pulsing light show they looked like they’d gone completely black. “I am not your gay friend.” His fingers flexed into her hips and he buried his face in her loose hair. “What I want from you, right now, is extremely inappropriate for a friend, and I need you to understand that.” Darcy nodded, feeling the evidence of his inappropriate feelings pressed into her stomach. “I know you think I’m in love with Steve, and part of me is, but that part isn’t all of me.” He could feel the pulse of the people around them, but at the same time it felt like just the two of them alone with the deafening beat of the music. “I need you to understand me, because I don’t want you to mistake what I’m about to do.” Darcy’s eyes went wide and her lips slack, looking up at her friend, who was pressed so firmly against her, all she could do was nod. James slid his left hand up into her hair, wrapping it around his metal digits, pulling her up his body before dipping his head down to capture her up turned lips.

The world stopped. Darcy locked her arms fully around his neck, trying to get closer, his right hand curled around her waist, lifting her to her tip toes. His lips slid against hers, drinking in the feeling and taste of her, until they were both gasping for breath. “We need to go home, now.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” James growled, letting her slide back down, her feet fully on the floor.

“I’m not sleeping with you tonight,” Darcy told him, leaving no room for argument.

“I wouldn’t dream of asking you to.” Okay, maybe dream, but it wouldn't be right to ask, his Ma had raised him better than that.  
“We need to do some serious talking before this goes any further,” she stepped away from him, hating the loss she felt as she put more distance. She was in deep shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time, please let me know what you think. And to every one who commented, left kudos, and especially those who caught my mistakes, thank you. Please keep sending the love.


	11. Colorado Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Colorado Sunrise by 3Oh!3
> 
> The talk.

Equilibrium

Chapter 11: Colorado Sunrise

James pushed Darcy up against the apartment door, fisting his hand into her hair, the thick strands curled around his metallic fingers. He kissed her, trying to keep it soft and gentle, but he felt like a starving man and she was so sweet. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and let him lift her up, her back firmly pressed into the door, held up by the pressure of his body against hers and her legs around his hips. They were both letting it get quickly out of hand. She’d taken sex off the table and meant it, but she was reluctant to take her hands off of him, for fear that he would vanish into a puff of fantasy. She pulled her lips from his, running her tongue over their overly sensitive and swollen surface, and laid her forehead against his.

“We’ve got to stop,” she panted, loving the weight of him pressed against her. It wasn’t that they didn’t touch all the time. Darcy was a very tactile person, she touched everyone, and James was touch starved, and after seventy odd years without real human contact, who would blame him. But this was different; this was, fantasize about it at night different. A full contact, hand up the back of her shirt, feeling his abs contracting against the insides of her thighs different. “If we don’t put on the breaks now, we won’t, and we need to.”

James just nodded and slowly lowered her back onto her feet and took a full step back. “What now?” James asked, not sure what to do with his hands. Bucky would have said goodnight and gone home, maybe promise to call on her again, but James was home, one thin wall between them, they would see each other in their pajamas for breakfast in the morning.”

“We say good night,” Darcy was on new ground too. “I’m going to go take a nice hot bath, and soak my feet, which don’t hurt as much as they usually do after dancing, and you’re going to go wrestle with Jimmy,” she tried not to look at his very obvious little friend. “We’ll talk in the morning, when we’re not running on lust and alcohol.”

“Who’s Jimmy?” And why on earth would he fight with him?

“Spank the monkey,” she got another incredulous look. “Take matters into your own hands?” Nope, no light bulb. “Jerk off.” And there was the light bulb, followed by pink around the ears.

“Good girls don’t talk like that,” James scratched the back to his neck and tried to keep his blush under control.

“Please,” Darcy rolled her eyes at him. “It’s not like everyone doesn’t do it.”

“This is another one of those twenty first century things I’m going to have to get used to?”

“Yep,” Darcy held the p, and grinned. “Good night.”

“Good night, doll.” He kissed her on the cheek. Everything about this decade was strange. Not bad. Just different. He closed the door to his room quietly, contemplating her brazen suggestion.

James woke to the smell of pancakes and bacon, slowly opened his eyes and looked at to clock. Too early. It had taken hours to get to sleep the night before, images of Darcy at the club dancing through his brain. He took a deep breath, the smell of bacon enticing him. He rolled to his feet and pulled on a pair of black flannel pants covered in red nautical stars, a gift from Darcy, she’d gotten herself a pair, too. She’d said that with all the memorabilia she had for the Avengers, it was a shame she didn’t have any for him. And the Bucky Barnes teddy bear hadn’t been produced in fifty years. He didn’t really want any Winter Soldier memorabilia, but it made her happy, and the pants were really comfortable.

He padded into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. Darcy was dancing around the kitchen in her black widow shorts, flipping pancakes. He really wished he’d taken her suggestion in that moment, but it had just felt wrong with her in the next room, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Morning sunshine,” she beamed at him, evidently she’d slept just fine. She slid a mug of coffee over to him. “Breakfast first then talk?”

“Coffee, then thinking,” he scowled into his coffee, wished he could crawl back in bed, but knowing he’d never sleep.

“Hard night?” she winked.

“It’s too early for penis jokes, Darce,” not to mention a bit weird coming from her and kind of pissing him off that she didn’t seem to feel as frustrated as he felt; it’d been difficult enough before the kissing. She just kissed his cheek and deposited a plate full of pancakes and bacon.

Breakfast was quiet. James was too tired and grumpy to talk, and Darcy was tapping at her tablet, focused on something else entirely. Once the dishes were cleared and put away, they sat on the couch in the living room. Darcy faced him, her legs crossed neatly, making her shorts nearly disappear under her sleep shirt. He tried not to look.

Darcy took a deep breath, twisting her hands in her lap. “James, I want to make this very clear,” she said, borrowing his words from the night before. “I don’t want to be some bizarre backwards rebound from your non-relationship with Steve.” She glanced at him through her lashes and back down. “If we’re going to do this, we need to be open and honest at all times. This is new and exciting, but I want you to know, I understand how you feel, or felt about Steve, and that’s just as important or maybe more important then what we’re doing here.”

“Okay,” he put his hand over hers, stalling them. “I can do honest, open might be harder.” He paused and thought how to tackle the giant purple elephant in the room. “Yes, part of me will always be in love with Steve.” He tipped her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. “But Steve only sees Bucky, not the whole package. I don’t want to be with someone like that. I don’t want to hide and pretend things are different. You see the whole package, and you’re kind and sweet and gorgeous, which doesn’t hurt.”

“I just don’t want to ruin our friendship if we’re not both on the same page,” she looked down at her hands again. “I don’t want to be a one-time thing. I’ve only ever been someone’s good time girl, and that was fine because I didn’t have any investment in them.”

‘I’m all in, Darce,” he wished she’d look at him, but let her have her space. “This ain’t no one night thing. What about you?”

Darcy smiled sweetly at him. “I will never ask anything of you that I’m not willing to give myself.”

“Are we good?” he asked. “No more negotiations?”

“We’re good,” Darcy told him, grinning as he pulled her bodily into his lap and locked his lips over hers, taking advantage of her slightly open lips to explore more of her then they’d gotten to the night before. She pushed away after a moment. “No sex.”

“I don’t know how that all works now,” James admitted, running his hands up and down her bare arms. “But in my day.”

“You are such an old man,” she smiled, leaning her forehead against his.

“In my day,” he said again. “If you were real serious about a dame, you waited.” James kissed her softly. “The good ones waited until marriage.” He let his hands wander up her bare legs. “I’m not one of those good guys.”

“That’s good,” Darcy wiggled a bit, enjoying the feel of him under her. “I’m not ready for marriage, and I’m certainly not waiting long enough for Tony to plan any kind of Stark wedding.” She bit her lip as he scooted her closer. “Standard now is three dates.”

“That’s it?” he frowned. “That’s fast.”

“I’m not counting last night,” Darcy told him. It hadn’t been a date.

“Alright, three dates.” James kissed down the side of her neck, her hair tickling his face. “At least one where I take you out for actual dancing.”

“Deal,” Darcy squirmed. “No more talking, I want kisses.” James was happy to oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, we're moving closer and closer to Steve not being a tool bag, and starting to be a bigger part of the story. As always let me know if I missed any mistakes.


	12. We Used to be Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by We Used to be Friends by the Dandy Warhols.
> 
> Okay, I don't really like posting two days in a row, but this chapter snuck up on me during my morning commute and begged to be written, so here it is.

Equilibrium

Chapter 12: We Used to be Friends

The third time that Clint looked into the cookie jar and frowned, Darcy knew she’d been neglecting the team and vowed to make Clint’s favorite chocolate chip cookies, and maybe granola bars for Bruce, who had been spending way too much time in the lab, and there for with Tony. She padded into the common room kitchen. It was early enough on Wednesday morning that she was sure she’d have the place to herself. She didn’t notice Steve on the couch until she’d already preheated the oven. He didn’t seem to have noticed her at all.

Darcy crept to the edge of the kitchen, watching him as he sat, pencil in one hand, a sketch pad propped up in his lap. Before James came to the Tower, she used to love watching Steve sketch, his big hands were so graceful across the page, carving out the most beautiful and realistic pictures out of paper and pencil lead. She’d sat on the couch and watched while he drew Natasha and Clint argue, Tony and Bruce whisper about something sciency, and even once caught him draw Thor watching cat videos, with little fluffy kittens dancing in thought bubbles above his head.

Today’s sketch wasn’t cute or fluffy, but she kind of liked it anyway, despite being the main subject. It was a picture of a stunned James intertwined with her, wearing next to nothing, her long devil’s tail wrapped around his neck and her forked tongue licking his lips. She even had an impressive set of horns coming out of the top of her head. Best of all, her boobs had never looked more awesome.

“Should I be flattered that you think my ass is that firm, or insulted that you think I’m some kind of Succubus?” She asked, looking directly over his shoulder.

“Jesus Crist, Darcy,” Steve dropped the sketch pad and spun around. “How long have you been here?”

Darcy pointed to the kitchen where she had mixing bowls and spoons out and the oven was beeping to let her know it’d finished preheating. “Awhile,” she smiled and picked up the sketch pad. “Wow, I’d totally do this Darcy, she’s hot. I wish I actually looked that good.”

Steve turned pink and went to take back the pad. “Well, minus the devilish features, that’s pretty much what you look like,” he couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, and waved his hands for his drawings back.

“Please,” Darcy scoffed, dropping down on the couch next to him. “My ass is not that tight and it takes some crazy Victoria Secret power to get the girls to look that gravity defying.” She smiled, enjoying the pink tinge on his ears and the way he squirmed while she stared him down. “You know, we used to be friends.” She handed back his drawings without flipping through the rest of the pages, even though it was killing her not to.

“That was before you stole my best friend,” Steve closed the pad, still not looking at her, his face set in a hard painful mask.

“What are we in second grade?” She put her hand on his arm; half afraid he would flinch away. “I didn’t steal anyone. He came to me. He was scared and lonely and I was here when he needed someone.” She told him. “You went off Avenging, and he wasn’t sleeping. He had nightmares that he couldn’t chase away on his own.”

“What do you know about his dreams?” Steve asked, half scornful, half curious.

“Not much,” she admitted, leaning back on the couch and kicking her heels up on the coffee table. “Mostly that it kept him from really sleeping. When it was just the two of us, he used to fall asleep on the couch here while I played guitar or watched a movie. I think he was scared to be alone, and afraid to ask for help.”

“But you helped him anyway,” Steve slipped down next to her, though he refused to put his feet on the furniture.

“It’s what I do,” she patted his hand. “It’s hard to take care of someone whose been damaged the way James has.” Darcy looked off towards the city, the sky was gray, threatening to snow, a perfect day for cookie making, and reconnecting with old friends. “I imagine it’s even more difficult when you care so much about them, and it’s hard to see how much it’s changed them.”

“Yeah,” Steve shifted on the couch, draping his arm across Darcy’s shoulders. They’d been so close once. She was the only one in the Tower who would spend hours at the Met with him, just because he wanted to see the art. He knew she got bored while he’d stare at one painting for hours, but she never complained. She’d just lie down on the bench, head in his lap and listen to her iPod. “I really love him, Darce.”

“He loved you, too,” she said, without a second of hesitation.

“Do you?” Steve looked down at her, snuggling into his side. It was nice sitting like this again, not shouting at each other across a room, just quiet comfort.

“Do I love James?” Darcy nodded her head and really considered the question. “As a friend, absolutely, he’s sweet and funny and he keeps up with my snark, and you and I both know how hard that is.” Steve let out a sharp bark of laughter. She smiled, thinking about the way James had slid his fingers up into her hair and held on while they kissed, the way he’d pepper small kisses along her neck while she caught her breath. “As more than that?” Darcy really looked at Steve; he seemed at peace with her answer. “I’m getting there.”

“So, I’ve lost my chance,” Steve said, trying to digest the hollow feeling of the words. “I acted like a jack ass and lost my only chance with him.” He was mad at himself more than he was upset with Darcy. To be fair, Darcy had only stepped in when he hadn’t done his job.

“You haven’t lost anything,” Darcy told him. “This doesn’t have to be a you or me thing, unless you keep pushing him away with the way you’re treating him. You should spend some time with him; he’s a pretty amazing guy.”

“You want to share him?” Steve asked incredulously. “He’s not a teddy bear.”

“No, he’s a man who could use all the love he can get right now,” Darcy said. “And you and I owe it to him not to fight over him.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Steve asked. “You won’t be jealous of your boyfriend making time with me?”

“Getting to imagine my super-hot boyfriend making out with his equally super-hot best friend?” Darcy laughed. “I think I can handle it. The question is, can you?”

Steve pulled out his sketch pad and flipped to a page a few before the Succubus sketch. It was another picture of her and James, this one was much racier. “I think I can handle it,” he said to his lap, his ears bright pink, tinging on red.

“Why, Steven Grant Rogers,” Darcy grabbed the pad. “I didn’t know you had this in you.” The Darcy in the picture was wearing just a garter belt, stockings, with a seam up the back, and high heels that she would kill for. James had one hand in her hair, and the other at the small of her back, dipping her back, his lips pressed to her sternum, drawn in a classic pin-up style. “I want this one,” Darcy’s eyes pleaded with him, even though he still wouldn’t look up at her. “It is so going up on the fridge.”

“You are not putting a naked picture of yourself on the refrigerator,” Steve’s ears were so red she thought they’d catch on fire.

“Okay,” Darcy conceded, Tony would flip his shit if he saw it anyway. “But I still want it.”

“We’ll see,” Steve closed the book and tucked it into his bag. “That oven’s been beeping at you for a while.”

“Oh, cookies,” Darcy jumped up, shaking herself out of her naughty thoughts, a lot of which centered around Steve actually sketching herself and James. “Do you want to help?”

Steve hadn’t made cookies with Darcy in ages. “Why not,” he stood and scratched the back of his neck, trying not to stare at Darcy’s chest while she stretched. “I’ve already thoroughly humiliated myself, might as well burn the cookies, too.”

The cookies never actually made it into the oven. Instead a small food fight erupted after Darcy tripped while offering some dough to Steve, smearing it down his white shirt. They were just starting to clean up, intent on making another batch that didn’t end up on the floor, and ceiling, and cabinets, and their hair. “You know, Bucky’s watching,” Steve whispered to her as he picked dough out of her hair.

“I know,” Darcy told him, fishing a piece of chocolate that was melting down into the cup of her bra, fully aware of the two sets of eyes watching her hand disappear under her shirt. “Dad put a magnetic tracer on the back on his arm.”

“And you haven’t told him yet?” Steve raised is eyebrows.

“Dad got the drop on him,” she shrugged. “And it’s more fun waiting for him to figure out on his own how Tony keeps running into us just as soon as we leave the apartment.” Steve laughed and let it go. “James, stop lurking.”

“I’m not lurking,” James huffed.

“Yes you are,” Steve said, earning himself a piece of dough to the side of the head, which started the entire food fight again.  
When Bruce came in for his mid-morning Tony’s driving me crazy and I need to get some space before I start feeling green, cup of tea, the kitchen was trashed. Steve, Darcy and James were sitting on the floor, covered in dough and flour, each of the boys had an arm around Darcy. Bruce just turned around and walked back to the elevator. The three laughed so hard that Darcy could feel the tears on her face turning tacky with flour. She’d try again later, to make Clint cookies. Right now, she was going to enjoy the hell out of the mess they’d made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to know what you all think!


	13. The Ballad of Mona Lisa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! at the Disco.
> 
> Writing dancing is hard.

Equilibrium

Chapter 13: The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Darcy found an old ballroom in Brooklyn that offered a Swing Dance Night on Thursdays twice a month. She was a bit worried about leaving the Tower and going further than walking distance, but James looked so pleased with the prospect of taking her dancing that she kept her reservations to herself.

The old ballroom was small and dusty, but brightly lit. There were only a handful of other couples there, all older then Darcy, and she was willing to bet good money, all younger than James, who was pushing a hundred. She felt like she’d acquired a second left foot watching the other couples move gracefully across the floor.

“You’ve only done this once before,” James whispered, his arms around her waist, kissing the side of her head. They were both standing off to the side, swaying to the music.

Darcy leaned back into him, listening to him hum gently to the tune. “At least I can hear you, tonight.” James looked so at peace, his face soft with a small smile tugging at his lips. “You look happy.”

“I am,” he gently took her hand and spun her onto the floor. “I’ve got my girl, I know this song,” he turned her slowly under his arm. “All of this is familiar.”

“I can’t imagine how strange everything must be for you,” she followed his steps as he sped them up; thankfully he wasn’t trying to throw her in the air like the couple to their left.

“I’m sure it’s harder on Steve,” he hummed, leading her in a quick and complicated step, his firm hand on her waist keeping her from tripping. “I was out in the world over the last seventy years.” A haunted look flashed behind his eyes and Darcy squeezed his hand. “It’s hard.”

“Yeah,” Darcy leaned her head against his chest. “But it’s all going to be good from here on out.”

“As long as you keep holding my hand,” James kissed her head and spun her out and back.

As first dates go, it was pretty amazing, James kissed her at her bedroom door, and she felt like a teenager after her very first date. She had Friday pull up her ‘Awesome’ play list and danced around her room. She was halfway through an epic rendition of Katy Perry’s Eye of the Tiger into her hairbrush, because really what else would you use, when she heard clapping from her doorway and dropped the brush.

“So,” Natasha slunk into the room, closing the door behind her. “I take it that you had a nice time tonight?”

“Stupid sneaky spies,” Darcy muttered under her breath. “It was very nice.”

“No incidents?” she asked, sitting down on Darcy’s bed, patting the space next to her.

“Nothing serious,” Darcy flopped down. “Just a little melancholia.” She shrugged. “He’s got lots of memories to sort through, and it’s hard to tell what will bring one up.”

“And dancing was sure to stir some,” Natasha ran her fingers through Darcy’s hair as she helped her friend pull bobby pins out of her complicated up do.

“Some,” Darcy smiled as she remembered James’ strong arms leading her around the dance floor. “Mostly good ones, thought.”  
“I’m glad to hear that,” Natasha wove the thick dark hair into a loose French braid, smoothing the strands down Darcy’s back. “You’re good for him. Just be patient, he’s got a lot of things up there that he’s still repressing.”

“How can you be sure?” Darcy leaned back with her head on the redhead’s shoulder. She’d seen things lingering behind his eyes sometimes when he would suddenly go still, but he was either not ready or unable to talk about them.

“Because I knew the Winter Soldier back in Russia,” her friend told her, keeping her voice low and even. “He was an instructor while I was in the Red Room.” Darcy let that knowledge sink in, he already had so much guilt, what would he think when he realized he’d been the one to train Natasha, to help make her into the killer she’d become?

“Does anyone else know?” Darcy asked, not sure what answer she wanted to hear.

“Clint,” of course he did, he and Natasha had no secretes. “But he won’t tell anyone unless James says it’s okay.”

“Do we tell James?” they’d promised to be completely open and honest, but it wasn’t her secret to tell.

“It would probably be best,” Natasha smiled down at the girl who had accepted her, despite everything, and all the warnings about the ice cold Black Widow, Darcy’d embraced her and her partner with both arms, never once flinching at the blood they were soaked in, and now she’d done it again, taking in the most broken of all their motley lot, and giving him a place to fit. “Clint and I can take him to the range tomorrow, a little violence, a bit of talking; Clint wants to try out his new bow, anyway.” Darcy snickered and snuggled into her friends embrace.

“So,” Darcy looked up at Natasha, as the super assassin settled in. “What are we watching tonight?” She thumbed the television remote.

“How about something quiet and happy?” Natasha requested, pulling Darcy all the way up on the pillows, and playing with the end of her braid. “Maybe BBC’s Pride and Prejudice.”

“I will not make it through all six hours,” Darcy called up the movie, letting the soft glow of the television lull her to sleep.  
Natasha was gone when she woke up in the morning, and the television was off. Darcy stumbled out of bed, fitting her feet into her plush hulk slippers and following her nose into the kitchen and the mug of coffee James was holding out to her. “You always know when I’m coming,” she smiled into the mug, taking a deep breath.

“You make a lot of noise in the morning,” James kissed her hair and herded her onto one of the stools so he could finish flipping pancakes.

“Maybe I do it on purpose,” Darcy countered, settling her mug down and watching all the deliciousness of shirtless muscle that was on display for her. He just raised an eyebrow at her. “Okay, I don’t, but I’m also not a super soldier.”

“I like that you make so much noise,” he deposited a plate loaded down with pancakes in front of her and turned to get syrup. “I saw Natasha leaving your room this morning,” he tried to say casually. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Darcy gave him a little naughty smile. “That if Tasha didn’t want you to see her, you wouldn’t have,” she grinned at James’ shocked expression. “We had girl talk and watched a movie, Jamie. Speaking of,” she took a forkful of pancaky goodness. “Tash and Clint want to take you to the range today, something about his Hawkness’ new bow.”

“It’s fine if you both are,” James drifted off, clearly unsure of how to finish his thought.

“Oh no,” Darcy laughed. “There is no fun lesbian action going on between me and the Widow. We’re just good friends. She comes over a lot when she can’t sleep, and camps out for a movie. I’m pretty sure she was just teasing you this morning.”

“Just checking,” he settled down next to her with his own plate. “A guy can fantasize.”

She punched him lightly on the arm. “You’re an ass-hat.”

He grinned. “But I’m your ass-hat.”

James had an impressive array of weaponry out on the coffee table, disassembled, an oiled rag in one hand, methodically cleaning each piece before reassembling them. Darcy sat with her back to him, not overly thrilled with the guns just lying about, going over some code for Friday that was bugging her. She was more than happy to jump up and answer the knocking that was coming from their front door. In a tower full of family and assassins and spies, it was a novelty to actually get a knock.

Steve stood awkwardly in the hall, shifting from foot to foot when Darcy answered the door. “So we’re knocking now, not just barging in. That’s new.” Darcy smiled to soften her barbed words. Steve just blushed and scratched the back of his neck. “You know, pink is a good color on you. What can I do you for, Cap?” She ushered him into the apartment and closed the door. He got points for saying nothing about the arsenal on the table.

“Yeah, I really need to work on that, don’t I?” Steve accepts the coffee Darcy offered and relaxed. “I just wondered if you maybe wanted to come to the Met,” he looked down into the mug, hopeful. “You know, like old times.” He glanced at Buck, who was ignoring them on the couch. “You’re welcome too, Buck.”

“Darce, you go,” James slid the bolt back into his gun and pulled back to check the chamber. “I’m going to the range with Clint and Natasha.”

“Sounds like a plan, Steve-O,” she jumped up. “Guess that means I have to put on real pants.” She headed to her room while Steve tried not to watch her swaying hips, clad only in a pair of Captain America boy shorts, and tank. James watched unabashedly.

Steve cleared his throat. “I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he called through her closed door before making a quick exit. James just chuckled.

Darcy really did love going to the Met, while she didn’t have Steve’s stamina for art gazing, she loved the hushed rooms filled with the smell of aged canvas and oil paint. There was something so tranquil about the institution. They strolled through gallery after gallery, Steve’s arm around her shoulders, whispering quietly to each other. Steve guided them, finally, into Gallery 815, and settled in front of a Dega. If you’d asked Darcy a few years earlier, she wouldn’t have known one artist from another, but thanks to Steve’s frequent visits to the museum, she’d started to pick up on the differences. They settled down on a bench and Steve pulled out his sketch pad, as Darcy fitted her earbuds into her ears and rested her head against his thigh.

After Angry Birds and Candy Crush, she texted Natasha about how her talk with James had gone. ‘Better than expected.’

‘How did he seem?’

‘Quiet, contemplative, but alright.’

‘Do I need to come home?’

‘No, Clint and I are with him. He and Clint are testing out Clint’s bows; he’s got some trick arrows Tony brought down.’

‘Let me know if anything changes.’

‘You worry too much, little sister.’

‘Love you too, Tasha.’

‘You have such a big heart, sweet girl, don’t let the Captain break it.’

‘James was a sergeant.’

‘Him either.’ Darcy looked down at her phone bemused before putting it away. She looked over at Steve’s sketch; it was very clearly Natasha in point shoes and an elegant tutu.

“Natasha would love that,” she said pulling one of her earbuds out.

“Dega always makes me think of Tash. I’m thinking of making it her Christmas present,” Steve told her, his hands moving gracefully across the page.

“You should,” Darcy popped a stick of cinnamon gum in her mouth and her earbud back in her ear, letting her mind wonder as she watched his hands.

“Is that cinnamon?” Steve asked, his hands stilling. “I love cinnamon.” Darcy held out a piece, which he took gently before putting in his mouth, groaning at the biting taste as it hit his tongue.

“Do you two need to be alone?” Darcy asked, that pink tinge that she absolutely loved, washed over his ears, and he went back to drawing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being a bit longer than usual, mostly because Natasha decided to crash it. 
> 
> Let me know what you're all thinking.


	14. Best Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Best Day by Taylor Swift.
> 
> This one took a little longer then usual. I wrote it on Thursday, but felt something was missing. It wasn't until today that I figured out what it needed to really feel right. I hope you all enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 14: Best Day

It was getting close to five when Darcy’s phone vibrated, letting her know she had a new text message.

‘How’s it going?’

‘Cap has gone into Dega trance mode.’

‘I don’t know what that mean.’

‘He’s been completely still for about ten minutes, eyes focused on this painting we’ve been camped out by for two hours.’

‘What are you doing?’

‘Listening to Panic! at the Disco.’

‘Is that one of those real life prank shows you showed me? I really don’t understand why that’s entertainment.’

Darcy snickered, Steve didn’t move. ‘I’m just surprised you don’t run away from the TV when the train drives straight at the screen.’

‘Ha-ha, they had color pictures before I left for the war.’

‘It’s not a reality show. Ask Friday to pull up my iTunes.’ Darcy put her phone down, confident that James would be more than occupied scrolling through thousands of songs, and checked her watch. “Doesn’t the museum close soon?” she asked Steve, who finally blinked.

“They don’t kick me out,” he says, going back into his trance.

‘Not as bad as some of your music.’

‘You will learn to love Metallica.’

‘I’m not sure that’s in the cards, doll face.’

‘So, you’d think that the Met would close soon, right? Turns out they’ll stay open for Captain America, brown nosers. Good thing Steve-o’s too polite to make them stay too late.’

‘What’s a brown noser?’

Darcy chuckled. “You talking to Buck?” Steve asked, getting his things together. “You wanna say hi for me?”

“I’m not passing notes between the two of you,” Darcy accepted Steve’s hand up. “You pull out your shiny phone and text him yourself.” Steve put his arm around Darcy’s shoulders, guided her out of the museum as she texts. ‘Someone who sticks their nose up another person’s ass to gain favor.’

‘That’s something people actually do, this century is so strange.’

‘Brown nosers are looser, but I’ve never actually seen anyone stick their nose up someone’s butt. Remind me to upload Urban Dictionary on your tablet when I get home.’

‘Okay,’ Darcy put her phone away and put her arm around Steve’s waist and laced her fingers through the hand over her shoulder. “This has been nice.”

“I’ve missed being your friend,” Steve smiled down at her.

“Well, if you’d acted like less of a douche,” Darcy rolled her eyes at his questioning look. “I’ll load Urban Dictionary on your tablet, too.”

“Will that help me understand you, sometimes?” Darcy just laughed. “I want to understand more.”

“Thor just smiles when he doesn’t get something I say.”

“Might be why people think he’s a bit dim,” Steve told her. Darcy just snuggled into her friends embrace, shielding her a bit from the bitter December wind.

“You know, I’m still pissed at you, right?” Darcy asked, making no move away from Steve.

“I got that with the ice cold showers I’ve been having for the past week,” Steve said, taking it all in stride. “At first I thought it was my water heater, so I went down to the gym to shower, and it was freezing there, too.”

“Friday might be stupid, but she likes me,” she smiled at Steve’s eye roll.

“Tony just couldn’t figure it out,” he shook his head, bowing down towards her to break the wind that was blowing straight up the street at them.

“You’d better hope he doesn’t figure it out,” she laughed. “I set it up as a Trojan, as soon as he digs out that code, Friday’s been programmed to broadcast Tony dancing in his lab to Taylor Swift and singing at the top of his lungs all over the Tower.”

“Why would you do that?” Steve wanted to sound disappointed, but couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“To teach him not to undo my programming. I’d have Friday thinking autonomously if Tony would leave my code alone. I’ve been studying Jarvis for months now, and I think I’ve finally gotten somewhere, and Tony gets this ‘I’m better then you,’ attitude, and strips my programming.” She smiled up at her friend. “And because it’s totally what Tony would do.” Steve just nods his head, Darcy’s phone buzzes as they step into the Avenger’s privet elevator, she glances at it. When James’ name comes up she ignores it.

As they get off the elevator on the common room floor, Darcy hears a familiar beat of a song she knows well. Steve just pinches his nose and shakes his head.

“Offspring,” Tony bellowed from the kitchen. “I know it was you, you turn this off right now.”

“Well, this was fun,” Darcy squeezed Steve’s hand. “I’ll see you later.” She stepped back into the elevator and pushed the button for her floor. “Call James and talk,” she called as the doors closed. She checked her phone. One missed call.

The lights where off in the apartment when she walked in, a dark figure sat huddled on the couch, Nana Lewis’ crocheted afghan tucked tightly around his shoulders. She left the lights off and dropped her things at the door. James clutched the afghan to his chest, his eyes red rimmed; a deep sigh escaped his chapped lips when Darcy sat down next to him.

“I was fine until I was alone,” his voice was rough with pain and tears. “They said I trained her.” The haunted and hollow look in his eyes tore at her heart.

“Oh, baby,” Darcy put her arms around him, kneeling on the couch, but he stayed stiff, looking straight out the windows on the New York sunset.

“Natasha said I was there in the Red Room,” his throat was so tight he could barely get the words out. “They turned me into a murder of children,” he looked up at her for the first time since she came through the door, the pain radiating from him was so palpable that she could feel the tears running down her face. “I knew they’d made me a monster, it comes back in fits and spurts, I can see the faces of the people I was programmed to kill, but this,” he took a long breath and pushed away from her. “I don’t know if this is something I can come back from.” He pulled the afghan even tighter, the holes in the yarn pulling so heard Darcy thought she could feel them creaking. “They made me train little girls, they were so small, Darcy. They made me force them to become monsters, like me, and then made me kill them when they weren’t ruthless enough.” Darcy stroked his back, wishing she could do something to take the hurt away.

“I’m so sorry, Natasha wanted to tell you herself, before you remembered, she thought it would be better coming from her, so that you could see what an amazing person she became,” she didn’t know what else to say. “You’re not a monster James, you’re a good man.”

“Do you know what Graduation is in the Red Room?” Darcy just nodded, Natasha had given her access to the Red Room files that she had. “They take the girl’s reproductive organs so they can’t have children, they don’t want them to have any distractions from their mission.”

“Did she also tell you about her three beautiful god children?” Darcy asked, making him look her in the eye. “Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel look at her like she hung the moon. To them she’s Aunt Tasha, not the assassin that they made her. She’s working to clear her own conscience, but to us, there’s nothing to clear.”

“I still don’t understand how you can stand to be in the same room as me,” he looked down into his lap, covered in a riot of color, exactly the kind of blanket you’d expect to find in Darcy’s apartment. “Much less comfort me, let me touch you; my hands are so bloody.”

Darcy wiped tears from her eyes and smiled at him the best she could. “Because I love you, you stupid cyborg,” Darcy held him to her chest, feeling his salty tears soaking into her shirt. “They forced you to do those things, I’ve read the files, and you fought so hard that they were forced to wipe your memory over and over, they had to keep you on ice between missions because the conditioning wouldn’t stick.”

“You shouldn’t,” he told her, finally starting to relax into her embrace.

“Love isn’t about should or shouldn’t,” Darcy kissed his messy hair, down the side of his face, tasting the salt on his skin. “I love you because of all that you are and all you could be. I love the parts of you that you can’t love yourself.”

“I love you, too.”

On Christmas Eve morning, Darcy walked out of her room, curious as to the lack of delicious coffee aroma that usually filtered into her room at seven am. On the kitchen counter was a white box with a big red bow. She looked around to see if James was lurking somewhere in the apartment, but the door to his room was open and there was no sign of him. A small car next to the box said, ‘for the girl who loves what’s hardest to love. JBB’ She carefully pulled the silk ribbon loose and folded it on the counter before opening the white clam shell jewelry box. Inside, wrapped around a white satin pillow was a silver necklace, a small ruby red star hanging from it.

Darcy took it out carefully; holding it up to the light and watching it glint in the early morning light. It was perfect. She gently fastened it around her neck. “Friday, would you locate James for me?”

“Sargent Barnes is in the Avenger’s common room,” Friday’s mechanical voice stated over the apartment speakers. Darcy was out the door before Friday even finished. She ran all the way up to the common room. 

James stood talking to Thor, who looked excited as usual, a small smile crept over James’ face as he saw Darcy step out of the elevator. She ran straight into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, the red star dangling from her neck.  
“I love it,” she grinned and slid her fingers into his hair as his arms tightened around her. Their lips met in a crushing kiss, she swept her tongue into his mouth, tasting coffee and midnight. Her butt hit the counter and he fisted a hand into her hair, holding on as she continued to taste him.

“Hey Tin Man,” Tony called, striding into the common room.

“I understood that reference,” Steve said from his place on the couch, sketch pad in his hands.

“Yes, Steve,” Tony rolled his eyes. “We all know you’ve see Wizard of Oz.” He turned back to James and Darcy who were busy paying absolutely no attention to him. “Tin Man,” he said louder. “You know I’m not a fan, but I tolerate you living in my Tower, mostly because Captain Puppy eyes and Baby Stark. I’m learning to live with the fact that you’ve shacked up with my daughter, because Pepper said I have to. But I’m not down with you humping my daughter on my kitchen counter.”

“Like you have a leg to stand on, Mr. Playboy Billionaire,” Darcy rolled her eyes, making no move to let go of her very happy to be there boyfriend. “How’d you pay for this?” She didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but his lack of funds had been a minor point of contention between them, James didn’t like the idea of not being able to take his girl out with his own money. James pulled out his very own Stark Industries Credit card.

“Pepper helped,” James blushed. “She said as far as she was concerned, I was an Avenger and part of the family, I could get paid for my services.” Darcy peered at the name stamped on the front, James B Buchanan. “Natasha helped set up a credible identity for me, at least until we can sort out this POW business that Stevie is pushing.”

“Subtle,” Darcy laughed. “Way to hide in plain sight, Buck-O.”

“Buck, its Bucky,” Tony poured himself a cup of coffee. “Jesus, Offspring, you should at least know your boyfriends name, if you’re going to be desecrating my beautiful marble counter top with him.” Darcy just flipped Tony off, and turned back to James, peppering small kisses along his jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, suggestions, constructive criticism, always welcome. Even encouraged. My muse runs on Comments and Kudos.
> 
> Thank you for all the love!


	15. A New Heart for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by A New Heart for Christmas by Kill Hannah
> 
> I want to wish our good Sargent Barnes a very happy 99th birthday.

Equilibrium

Chapter 15: A New Heart for Christmas

Lights were strung along the railings in the common room stockings along the fire place and a huge live Christmas tree was decorated with Pepper’s incredible eye for detail. Darcy stood in front of the fire place watching Tony hand the last of the stockings, one left in his hang.

“This is the first year I can’t hang this one,” he held up the old stocking, green and red and looked like it had been handmade; a child’s hand had very obviously painted the name on the front. “Sometimes I still find myself talking to him.” Darcy leaned her head against her father’s shoulder, both looking at the space on the fire place where Jarvis’ stocking should be hung.

“Hang it,” Darcy told him. “The first year without mom, I hung her’s in my apartment. It was too hard without it.” She took the stocking from his fingers and placed it on the fire place. “The holidays are hard enough as it is.”

“It’s sentimental,” Tony told her. “People will think I’ve gone soft.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” Darcy smirked. “We all know you’re a big marshmallow.”

“Evil child,” Tony placed a kiss against her hair. “Thank you.” Darcy just nodded and touched James’ stocking on the way to the elevator, it was black and grey and red plaid, his name was stitched into the top in bright red, Tony was such a softy.

The last Christmas that James remembered was in the trenches in Europe. It had passed with very little fanfare, almost forgotten. All he’d wanted for Christmas that year was for he and Steve to be home, maybe find a couple of nice girls and settle down.

He looked over at Darcy on the couch, a riot of colored paper and boxes and bows over flowing the coffee table. She was sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she carefully folded and taped the paper around a box. Sticking neon ribbons to each box and sliding a handmade card under the bow. She had boxes for each of the residents of the Tower, he’d already found his pile in the back of her closet. Not that he’d been snooping, he was doing reconnaissance. He was pretty sure he'd found his girl.

“I didn’t buy anything for anyone but you and Steve,” James said as he pulled a piece of tape out of her hair.

“The one from you are over there,” Darcy pointed to a pile of boxes wrapped in black metallic paper. “Sign these,” she handed him a stack of holiday cards. “I got something for everyone for you.” She put the finishing touches on a bright pink box with Jane’s name on it and smiled at him.

“Thank you,” he kissed her cheek and took the stack of cards. “I got Stevie a new sketch pad.”

“I wrapped it,” she winked. “For a crazy ninja assassin, you’re not very sneaky.”

“You’re way too good for me.” Darcy put down the box she was working on and climbed into his lap.

“I love you,” she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I didn’t want you to feel left out.”

He kissed her on the temple and took the proffered pen, carefully slipping each card into its envelope after signing. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

To say that Christmas dinner went better then Thanksgiving would be a huge understatement. Darcy lay on the couch patting her very full stomach, her head pillowed in James’ lap and her feet tucked under Steve’s thigh. When Tony gave her a questioning look, she just said: “What, my feet get cold.” James idly braided pieces of her hair, needing something to do with his hands while everyone gathered around in front of the fire.

“We don’t mean to eat and run,” Clint lounged against the back of the couch, dropping a small box to Darcy. “But, Nat and I have to be at the Farm in time for Christmas morning.”

“Take those,” Darcy pointed at the big red bag she’d filled with gifts for Tasha, Clint and the Barton Family. “Have a good Christmas.”

After far too many good-byes, the spies left, Clint shouldered the big red bag, looking like a muscular, beardless Santa.  
Tony placed a nice bottle of Glen Levitt on the table. “Merry Christmas, kids,” Tony toasted with his glass, and arm around Pepper’s waist. He threw back the glass and settled down on a couch and started up A Charlie Brown Christmas. Full and ward and comfortable, Darcy fell asleep before the Snoopy Dance.

Darcy had never gotten over the excitement of Christmas morning, she woke up tucked gently into her had feeling like her entire body was a bottle of good champagne about to pop. She quickly shoved her feet into her Hulk slippers and dashed out of her room and down the hall. James’ door was cracked open just about an inch. Darcy peered through the small opening; the comforter had been shoved off the end of the bed. The sheets curled over his waist. He lay face down on the bed, facing the door. He looked so young when he was sleeping. Darcy knocked gently on the door frame and the change in his face was instantaneous. A scowl crawled over his face, flickering away and softening as soon as his eyes fell on Darcy peaking around the doorway.

“Morning, doll face,” James smiled and turned over, displaying his amazingly muscled chest to the room. Darcy just stared for a moment, her eyes wandering across his chest to where his body gave way to metal and then down to where his abs disappeared under the sheet. “Are you coming in, or do you just want to salivate from the doorway?”

Darcy snapped out of her trance, a blush crept up her face. “Happy Christmas, Jamie,” she pushed the door open and made her way into his room, sitting on the edge of his bed, James snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her down into a soul melting kiss, rolling them over so he was looking down at her.

“Did you sleep well?” he winked, a smirk on his lips. "You were pretty out when I brought you down here.” Darcy peppered kisses along his jaw, her hands digging into his hair and across his shoulders. She took extra time exploring where his skin met his prosthetic arm, fascinated at the feel of it under her fingers.

“Do you feel anything from the arm?” she asked tentatively, trailing her fingers along the seams of the plates.

“It’s different,” he told her, awed by this beautiful woman who allowed him to touch her, who touched the most fearsome part of him with such reverence. “I can feel pressure and temperature, but not sensation. Does that make sense?”

“Kind of like being numb,” she ran her hands all the way down to his finger tips and back up.

“I guess,” James lay down on his right side next to her letting her have full access to his left arm.

“Okay,” Darcy kissed the metal finger tips and pulled him down to her. “This is a good way to start Christmas morning.” Their lips met and James curled him arms around her, holding her close. “I want to go open presence right now.”

“You can open this present right now,” he gave her a naughty grin, pulling her over him, so she straddled his hips. 

Darcy hummed into the kiss, loving the feel of him underneath her. “I’m so tempted,” she whispered against his lips, his hands wondering down her back to cup her butt, pulling her further against him. “So tempted.” She bit her lip and looked down at her amazing and beautiful boyfriend, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief and lust, just the barest hint of sadness lurking beneath the surface. “But you owe me two more dates, mister.” She nipped gently at his lips, teasingly. “And then we can spend all day in bed.” She pushed off of him and rolled gently off the bed, slipping her feet back into her slippers.

“Tomorrow night,” James puffed out the breath he’d been holding, Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him. “There’s a little Italian place on the corner.”

“Are you asking me out Mr. Barnes?” Darcy asked, grinning at him.

“Yes,” James dropped his head back down on the pillow. “You have no idea how hard it is having you in the next room ad not be able to touch you constantly.”

“I have every idea,” she walked to the doorway and hesitated for a moment. “Get some pants on, its present time.” She shut the door quietly behind herself ad leaned against the wall. It took every ounce of her will power not to run back into James’ room and push him back into bed. Just two more dates, they’d agreed and she was sticking to it, even if she felt like she was going to spontaneously combust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date two coming up, and some Thor and Jane visits, too.
> 
> Please let me know how I'm doing. Comments make my muse work.


	16. Do Not Open Until Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Do Not Open Until Christmas by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Sorry it took so long to get this one out. My other story started jumping up and down and demanded to be written.

Equilibrium

Chapter 16: Don’t Open Until Christmas

Darcy had the old plastic tree from her mother’s house set up in the living room. Complete with Popsicle stick reindeer and salt dough hand prints. It would never be elegant like the Douglas fir that Pepper put up in the common room, but it felt like home. She had her mom’s stocking hung over the fireplace, plain red with white trim and her mom’s name written in silver slitter paint. Darcy’s old Scooby Doo stocking hung next to it. While she waited for James to emerge from his room, she ran to the closet and pulled out a bag with her last minute Christmas purchase, because you really had to have at least one every year. It had been a bitch finding someone who would stitch his name into the top of the Captain America stocking that she’d found hidden at the back of a shelf, but sometimes a few tears at the right time will grease some wheels. She smiled at the stocking, hung just to the left of hers, with ‘James’ stitched in electric blue.

“You didn’t have to do that,” his voice was soft from the hallway as she dropped a couple of clementine’s and a hand full of fun sized candy bars in his stocking.

“I wanted to,” Darcy turned to find him leaning against the wall, his black t-shirt snug against his shoulders and his black flannel Winter Soldier sleep pants low on his hips.

He walked over to her, surveying the living room, a myriad of colored presents, mostly for her, snuggled under the lowest branches of the fake tree. He wound his arms around her waist and kissed her hair. “You smell good,” Darcy curled into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his middle. “I don’t need any presents, Darce, I already got what I want for Christmas this year. You made me fit.”

“You found that place yourself, babe,” Darcy told him, running her hands under the back of his shirt, the heat of his skin sinking deep into her palms. “Now, stop being morose, its present time, no crying over shiny paper.” James nodded and let her lead him over to the couch while she divide up the boxes. As he suspected, most were hers, though his pile was bigger than he thought possible. Not all of them were from Darcy, either.

He got an iPod from Darcy, loaded with every song she’d played for him and ones they’d danced to, a few he’s mentioned that he liked and a few she thought he might like. Instructions for his very own iTunes account was also present. Natasha got him a new set of throwing knives, black with red stars etched into the handles. The card said: “Embrace your skill set.” Pepper got him a black diving watch that was good to a hundred meters, she signed Tony’s name to the card. Steve’s present was his favorite. The picture was framed in a dark cherry wood, it was done in old pin-up style, like Steve would do before the war. It was Darcy, because even with her head tilted back like that, you could never mistake those lips, was wearing nothing but a blue garter belt, stockings and lipstick red heels, his hand fisted in her loose brown curls, his metal arm holding her back as she arched back in his embrace. He wore grey modern fatigue pants and black boots. The drawing was mostly pen and ink, with small touches of color, her lips, the shoes and garters, her hair and her rosy pink nipples. The card read: “I’m counting on you being more sensible then your girl and not posting this on the fridge.” Steve signed his name, though it was completely unnecessary, James would have recognized his style anywhere.

“No fair,” Darcy pouted cutely over his shoulder. “I called dibs.”

“And apparently threatened to stick it up on the refrigerator,” James waved the card. “It’ll be safe in my room.”

“Whatever blows your skirt up, sweetheart,” Darcy smirked and pulled out the present addressed to her from Steve. It was smaller than the one James go, nearly photograph sized. The black frame set off the sepia toned picture of Bucky and Steve. Bucky had his Sargent’s dress uniform on, the hat tilted back on his head, his arm around Steve’s small shoulders, the photographer caught him mid laugh. The card said: “I found this amongst my things and wanted you to have it. Once upon a time we were just two reckless troublemakers from Brooklyn.” Darcy caught James’ chin in her hands and placed a long kiss against his lips. “Pass that on to Steve for me.” She whipped a stray tear from the corner of her eye and tore into her box from Jane and Thor, which contained a box of S’mores Pop tarts, dark roast coffee and a new mug, black with a red star. Thor was absolutely smarter than anyone thought.

The little Italian restaurant was nice, if not a bit crowded the day after Christmas. The food was wonderful. Darcy could tell early on that the crowd was too much for James, and sitting by the windows didn’t help. She scooted her hair to his, so they could see as much of the room and out the window as possible, but there was a tightness in his shoulders that wouldn’t loosen through all of dinner.

“Why don’t we go back home and finish watching the first season of Once?” Darcy whispered in his ear as the waitress, who seemed uneasy around James and was absolutely not helping, cleared their plates.

“We’re on a date,” James whispered back. “Shouldn’t we go to the pictures, we could go dancing again, a date should go out.”

“Cuddling on the couch is absolutely an acceptable date option,” she kissed his cheek and ran her fingers along the seams of his left hand. “You’re twitching.”

“I’m sorry, doll,” he hated that the crowd made him so nervous, and he couldn’t just relax and enjoy his date.

“No worries,” Darcy slid her hand down the leg of his dress pants and winked at him. “We’ll go home, fire up Friday and watch TV, we can even have a really frustrating teenage make out session on the couch.” She tipped his face towards hers and kissed his lips gently while he kept his eyes on the room. “Do you see something?”

“Not sure, Darce,” James put his hand over hers on his leg. “It’s like scenting something on the wind, I can feel something off, but I can’t quite tell if it’s my own paranoia or something really wrong.”

“So we’ll pay and go,” his shoulders relaxed slightly, which made her smile. “The food was really wonderful,” Darcy told him. “We should have Friday order in from here.”  
Darcy fell asleep during the finally, her head pillowed in James’ lap. He watched as she pursed her lips in her sleep, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as she dreamed. She shifted onto her side, tucking a hand under his thigh, pillowing it under her head. She was so sweet, and was so good about his idiosyncrasies. He turned off the television and just watched her. She whimpered gently in her sleep as he carried her to bed, clutching at his hand as he tucked her in. James turned off the lights and left her door just slightly ajar, the way she liked it, and crept quietly down the hall.

Darcy had helped him hang his Christmas present on the wall near the door that morning, reminding him to pass her kiss on to Steve. He wasn’t ready for that, not with things still so new with Darcy, even if she told him how fine she was with it, but he would call him in the morning, maybe get coffee and try to mend some of the damage. He knew if he asked, Darcy would come too, she’d do anything for coffee.

“I’m not going on your date with Steve,” Darcy told him over a mug of coffee. “You’re a big boy, and I don’t think Stevie will bite.” She took a sip of the steaming hot coffee, groaning at the rich flavor as it burst across her tongue. It was clearly a bribe. “Unless you ask him real nice.”

“It’s not a date, babe,” he rolled his eyes at her. “It’s just coffee, a friend thing. I’m extending the olive branch.”

“I’m pretty sure the olive branch was the naked picture of me you got for Christmas, hotshot,” Darcy refilled her mug and sat back down.

“You know, most dames want their steady all to themselves,” he sat down on the stool next to her and took a sip from her mug. “You’re practically setting me up on a date with Steve.”

“What can I say,” Darcy shrugged. “It’s totally selfish, I just want to watch you kissing.”

“No kissing at the coffee shop,” he told her, sliding her mug back to her.

“Would you feel better if I went with you this time?”

“Yes,” James nodded looking down at his hands on the counter.

“Okay,” she patted his hands. “But next time you’re on your own.” James smiled and kissed her cheek. “This does not count as our third date.” He laughed.

Darcy made the cover of Us Weekly. James found it in the coffee shop sitting at the table. Hands down, she could honestly say that she never thought that would happen. Sure, she’d found out a few years ago that Tony Stark was her biological father, but the rest of the worlds didn’t know that. Regardless, there she was, it was a pretty good picture, too, several in fact. The big cover picture had been taken while she and Steve were leaving the Met, from the angle the picture was taken, it looked like they were kissing. A smaller inset picture was of her and James, they were defiantly kissing, it was taken through the window of the Italian restaurant. The caption said: “Captain America’s New Lady Love, Cheating Already.” Darcy smacked her head on the table. James and Steve just laughed.

“At least we know it wasn’t paranoia that had your hackles up,” Darcy mumbled into the table.

“I kinda hope someone’s taking pictures now,” Steve said, flipping through the magazine to find the article. “That would be so confusing.”

“Only if you two start making out,” Darcy told the table, unwilling to see what trash was written about her. “At least they don’t know my name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and Kudos mean I write faster. Let me know what you're looking to see next.


	17. Treacherous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Treacherous by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Sorry this has taken so long to get out, I got a bit caught up with my other story, I'm going to try to balance updates a little better from here on out.

Equilibrium

Chapter 17: Treacherous

Steve found her on the third day. She sat on the couch in her lab watching the snow fall past the windows, her new guitar felt strange and awkward in her hands. The notes struck painfully off the metal and glass of the lab.

“What are you doing up here?” Steve leaned against the doorway, watching Darcy concentrate on tuning her guitar.

“I work here, Steve,” Darcy didn’t look up, instead running her fingers along the new strings. “This is my lab, contrary to popular belief, I do actually have a job.”

“I mean, why have you been up here instead of going home?” He took in the immaculate shiny surfaces of her lab space, so different from the quiet chaos of the apartment she shared with James.

“James and I had a fight,” and that’s what Darcy did, she didn’t like confrontation, it was easier to cool off and get some space. “I’m giving him space.”

“He doesn’t want space, Darce,” he sat down on the couch and lifted the guitar out of her hands. “He wants you to come home, he thinks you’re punishing him.”

“I’m not punishing him,” she rolled her eyes and flopped back on the couch. “Have you seen the latest OK magazine?” Steve shook his head, that wasn’t really the kind of reading material that he enjoyed. “They’ve ID’d us, or at least they think they have.” Darcy got up and threw the cover of the magazine up on her Halo Screen. The front cover was on the back of her head, James’ metal fingers visible through her brown hair, the caption read: ‘The girl between two supers.’ Under that it said: ‘Darcy Lewis, a programmer at Stark Industries has been seen recently with Captain America, looking pretty cozy, she’s also been seen stepping out with his arch rival, a man that leaked documents have called the Winter Soldier.’

“The article goes on,” Darcy pulled it up, there were more pictures, all of Darcy and one of the guys. “If some celebrity gossip magazine can find James, then Hydra can’t be too far behind.”

“Fair enough,” Steve enlarged the pictures, there was no mistaking Bucky’s hand, especially when put side by side with pictures of him and Steve fighting in DC. “That doesn’t tell me why you’re hiding in your lab.”

“James wants to go out tonight,” Darcy said, vanishing the pictures. “I think it’s too dangerous. He won’t listen, we fought, I came up here.”

“Three days ago,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, Bucky and Darcy were so alike, both way too stubborn.

“I got caught up,” she shrugged. “I found something in some old Jarvis code that I wanted to try out on Friday, maybe make her a little less dumb, it caused more harm than good, so I’ve been fixing it.”

“And now you’re playing guitar,” Steve took the guitar out of her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Go home, finish this fight with Bucky, kiss and make up, cause I’m sick of him sulking on your couch whining to me.”

James was sitting on the couch when she walked in and dropped her bag on the table by the door. “Are you mad at me?” he asked, putting the TV remote down, looking off out the window.

“No,” she flopped down on the other end of the couch. “I’m tired and frustrated and as stupid as it is, I’m embarrassed by all this crap that these magazines are spewing.” She took a deep breath. “But I’m not mad at you.”

“Then why wouldn’t you come home?” he twisted his hands in his lap, itching to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t. “Why won’t you come out with me?”

“Are you upset because I won’t go out, or are you mad that because we haven’t had our third date you’re not getting laid?” Darcy snapped, knowing it wasn’t fair, but tired of this stupid argument.

“Seriously, Darcy?” he threw his hands up and slumped back on the couch, hitting his head against the cushions. “God, really? Yes, I’m frustrated that we aren’t more physical, but I want to be with you because I want to be with you, not because I’m looking for a good time. Bucky just wanted to make time with dames, to see how many he could, I grew up in the trenches, and now that I’m getting my mind back, I don’t want some little bit of nothing, I want our something. I want to make this, what we’re doing, work. If that means waiting, fine. But I’m upset because you don’t seem to want to go out with me. Am I embarrassing you, is it those pictures?”

“They know who you are, James,” she took his hand and traced the lines on the inside of his wrist. “If some stupid tabloid can find you, so can Hydra.”

“You don’t need to protect me from them,” James told her.

“But I need to protect me,” Darcy said. “Don’t forget that if they catch up to you, I’m collateral damage.”

“I’ll protect you,” he said, pulling her against him. “I love you, I won’t let them get you.”

“Why take that risk though?”

“Honestly,” James thought through how he wanted to word it, knowing Darcy would just roll her eyes regardless. “I’m a guy, Darce. I want this date over with, I want to spend all day lying in bed without this self-imposed stopping point that is driving both of us bat-shit crazy.”

“If this is just about sex we can go into my room and take care of that right now,” Darcy jumped up and stalked over to her bedroom door.

“No,” James stayed planted on the couch, looking even more miserable. “We said three dates, and I’m sticking to that. I don’t want to pressure you, if it’s too fast, we’ll take a step back, and we can wait.”

“You are pressuring me,” she told him. “But I want this as much as you do, come on, we’ll go have some fun and both relax and we can end this stupid fight.”

“No,” he told her. “I’m not sleeping with you to end the fight, I want to make love to you because we both want to be together.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to my room, we’ll talk about this later.” Darcy just nodded, holding back tears, a lump stuck in her throat as she watched him walk away. She couldn’t have handled that worse if she’d tried.

Darcy was buried under her comforter when her phone rand. She slipped her hand out of her cocoon, pulling the phone off of her night stand. “Hello?” she mumbled into the phone.

“How would you feel about a moonlit dinner tonight?” James asked from the other end.

“We already fought about this, James,” she sighed. “It’s too dangerous for us to go out.”

“Not if we stay here,” he said, she could hear him pacing in his room. “Candle lit dinner on the balcony of the common room. I’ve consulted Jane and Pepper, both agree it’s an acceptable date.”

“So you’re conceding,” Darcy said slowly, pulling herself out of her cocoon. “You are admitting that it’s too dangerous.”

“Yes, it’s too much of a risk to you for us to go out right now,” she could hear him rolling his eyes.

“So you’re calling me from the next room to ask me out on a date,” Darcy prompted.

“Custom dictates that I call you for a request to take you out,” he smiled into the phone, relishing in the light hearted teasing.

“I don’t think custom applies here, hot shot,” she laughed. “Why don’t you hang up and come over here?” Darcy barely put the phone down before James was through the door and pinning her down under her heavy comforter.

“Missed you,” James lounged on the comforter, keeping her pinned beneath him.

“So, what time are you picking me up, babe?” Darcy pulled her hands out from under the covers, pulling him fully over her, propped up on his arms.

“Six,” he leaned down and kissed her. “I thought we could watch the sun set.”

“Why James,” Darcy squirmed under him, getting a little too warm with both the comforter and his body heat on her. “Are you trying to get in my pants?”

“Absolutely,” he grinned. “Now stay still, I’m not done kissing you yet, I have three days to make up for.” James leaned down, letting his lips wander down her chin and across to her ear, biting gently at the skin there, the way he knew she liked. “So, six.”

“Yeah, six,” she pushed at his shoulder. “You’re heavy and it’s hot under here. I have plans to take a nap, so either get out or get under the covers and shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he slipped off his boots and slid under the covers. “I couldn’t sleep when you were gone.”

Darcy curled into his side, pillowing her head on his chest. “The couch in my lab didn’t do much for my sleep either.”

“Hey, that’s a perfectly acceptable sleeping couch,” he wrapped his metal arm under the back of her neck, one good thing about his prosthetic, it wouldn’t fall asleep.

“Says the man who fell asleep on the floor of the common room and would not be moved. You’re heavy,” Darcy smiled into his t-shirt. “Now shut up, I’m sleeping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed the author, please.


	18. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Mine by Taylor Swift

Equilibrium

Chapter 18: Mine

James was gone when she woke up, a sticky note stuck to her lamp shade said: ‘6 o’clock, JBB.’ Darcy stretched, feeling a lot better after a nap in her real bed, but grimy from a three day bender in the lab. Friday didn’t seem much better off, though Darcy had increased her response time and she was becoming less of a glorified Siri, she wasn’t ready to turn over Tower security to the AI just yet.

Darcy showered, washing away the grimy feeling as well as the yucky just woke up from a nap grogginess. With her hair dried into soft curls, a swipe of mascara and her deep red lipstick, aptly named ‘Pin-up Red,’ she slid into a knee length black dress that flared generously around her hips and had thick straps that sat just at the tips of her shoulders. Darcy clipped the seemed stockings that Natasha had gotten her for Christmas to the black garters that they’d come with. The garter belt had a star shaped keyhole right in the center of the back, stitched around in red. Tash always found the exact right gift. She was just slipping on her black heels when a knock sounded at the door.

Bucky paced the length of Steve’s living room while the good Captain watched him from the couch. “I’ve never seen you this upside down over a dame,” Steve said while his friend checked his watch for what felt like the thousandth time. “Its five to six, Buck, I’m sure she won’t say anything if you’re a few minutes early.”

“Natasha gave me very explicit instructions, namely that I was to be at least five minutes late,” Bucky slumped down on the couch. “Why am I so nervous? I’ve done this before, I’ve taken more than my fair share of girls out with the understanding that we’d go back to my place, this isn’t new.”

“Not with a girl like Darcy, and not in more than seventy years,” Steve supplied, he draped his arm around his friend’s shoulders and Bucky leaned his head against Steve’s shoulder. “The rules are all different now, and Darcy’s a category all her own. She’s a special dame, Buck.”

“Yeah she is,” Bucky said. “I’m head over heels for her, Stevie.”

“Go get your girl,” he pushed his friend off the couch. “You’ve done enough grousing in my apartment these past few days, I’m sick of your ugly mug.”

“Love you, too, punk,” Bucky placed a quick kiss against Steve’s lips and vanished out the door.

James looked her up and down as soon as she answered the door, a quick once over that left a goofy grin on his face for all of three seconds before he captured her deep red lips in his, her arms curling around his neck as he lifted her against him. “You look beautiful, doll,” he kissed her again, gently this time, not wanting to smear her lipstick.

“Not looking so bad yourself, soldier,” Darcy set her feet back on the found and placed a small kiss on his jaw, loving the feel of stubble against her lips. James’ hand went to his face. “Relax. Modern lipstick doesn’t leave a mess.” James snaked back in, capturing her lips again, harder, slipping his tongue between her lips, tasting the sharp mint of her toothpaste and the warm taste of Darcy.

“We should go to dinner, now,” he said against her lips, his metal hand fisted in her hair and the other dancing along the fabric at her waist.

“Before we skip it,” Darcy agreed, biting at his lower lip, pulling a groan from his mouth.

“Or it gets very, very cold,” James slipped his hand down her back and entwined their fingers together.

“Lead the way, baby,” Darcy grinned, feeling effervescent as he walked her to the elevator. As the door opened he hesitated. “What’s wrong?”

“I kissed Steve,” he knew she’d been encouraging better relations with his best friend, but he still wasn’t sure how she’d react when faced with the reality of it.

“Good,” Darcy squeezed his hand. “I’m glad Steve’s finally not acting like a gigantiod dick wad. Was it nice?”

“It was fast,” James looked down at his girl, her eyes shining with love and acceptance. “It was an impulse, I did it on the way out the door to pick up.”

“Oh,” she nipped at his chin. “Does that mean I got Steve kisses by proxy?  
”  
“Whatever blows your skirt up, darling,” he lead her out onto the balcony that Jane had helped him rope with lights, heaters keeping the dining area warm enough for dinner. The sun set painted the whole skyline in reds and purples.

“My sexy soldier and the Captain locking lips,” Darcy shivered, not just from the cold wind across her nearly bare shoulders. “Definitely got my motor running.”

“How did I get so lucky,” he wrapped his jacket around her shoulders and pulled out her chair.

“Bout time some good fortune went your way, James,” she told him seriously.

“I love you, Darce.”

“Love you, too.”

Dinner was easy, everyday quiet conversation flowed. Catching up on three days apart, which they both apologized for, and James asked her about her work. “I feel like I’m reinventing the wheel,” she dabbed at her lips with the white cloth napkin and set it back in her lap. “There’s no simple way to remake Jarvis, he was coded over decades of Tony’s crazy genius spurts and half of his coding doesn’t make any sense and the other half is so interconnected I can’t figure out where it starts and stops, it’s making me crazy.”

“From what I hear, Jarvis was mostly sentient before he became Vision,” James said, setting his knife and fork down. “Maybe Friday just isn’t up for the task.”

“I can’t believe that,” Darcy was happily full, she sat back in her seat patting her stomach. “Good dinner, Jamie.”

“Any dinner with you is good,” he took her hand and gently pulled her into his embrace, a slow old melody playing from the speakers while they swayed gently.

“Did that line used to work on the girls?”

“Yeah,” James winked at her. “But never the really great ones.”

“You’re a tool,” she smiled and let him lead them around the balcony.

“I didn’t like you being gone,” he confessed as the song changed.

“I needed a little space,” she lay her head against his shoulder, soaking in the heat that his body radiated. “Pepper and I have been trying to do some PR maintenance, but as it stands, I look like the Whore of Babylon, cheating on the ever perfect Captain America, and you have a giant red target on you back. If they hadn’t ID’d you we could have spun it off as something casual, but as it stands, Pepper doesn’t know what to tell the media.”

“Don’t tell them anything,” his fingers dug into the fabric of her dress. “They can speculate all they want, eventually something else will come along and they’ll forget.”

“Will Hydra?” Darcy didn’t want to damage the mood, but they had to think about it, regardless.

“Stevie and I will deal with Hydra, Darce,” he kissed the side of her head, and spun them in a slow circle. “I promise we’ll talk all about this later, right now the sun has set, the stars are out, and I’ve got my girl in my arms. I want to think about those beautiful lips and not bloodshed.”

“I think I can get on board with that,” she lifted up on her toes and kissed his frown. “I’m just scared.”

“I know, baby,” he took possession of her lips, letting the conversation fall away.

James fell through their apartment door, Darcy in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, his shirt unbuttoned and pushed back on his shoulders. She dropped down to the floor and turned her back on her Soldier as his shirt lost its battle with gravity and slid to floor. Darcy watched him over her shoulder as she pulled down the zipper of her dress and let it drop off her shoulders, shimmying a little to get it to fall all the way off her hips. She winked at his wide eyed gaze, stepping out of the puddle of fabric.

“Darcy girl, you’re gonna be the death of me,” James eyed the open star just over the swell of her ass. He scooped her up in his arms, her startled laughter carrying all the way through to the bedroom.

Darcy lay with her head pillowed on James’ chest, his arms firmly around her while she drew lazy circles on his stomach. “You ruined my Christmas underwear.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her, running his hand up and down her back, loving the warmth of her silky bare skin against his palm. “Wait, your what?”

“My Christmas underwear,” she said, gesturing to the broken thong hanging precariously off her chair. “Natasha got them to go with the garter.” That she was still, unsurprisingly, wearing.

“I’m sure Tasha will understand that they gave their life for the greater good,” he traced his finger around the inside of the star, a contented smile on his face. “I’ll get you a new pair.”

“No worries,” Darcy snuggled down into his embrace. “I thoroughly enjoyed you tearing them off.”

James’ deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, sending vibrations across her body. “I did, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please don't forget to feed the author, I have a ravenous Muse. She likes chocolate.


	19. Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Six Pence None the Richer's Kiss Me
> 
> Sorry its been so long since I've updated. It was a crazy week at work last week, and I barely had a second to myself, plus coming off an insane stomach flu, that lasted way too long. And then a weekend with the in-laws. Yep, I needed some good times with James and Darcy. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Equilibrium 

Chapter 19: Kiss Me

Darcy woke up alone, the other side of the bed cold. She rolled over and pressed her face into the pillow James had used, breathing in the scent of leather and midnight, and the tangy musty scent of his shampoo, trying not to feel dejected. She could hear James shuffling around in the kitchen, probably getting coffee ready, like any other morning. She rolled out of bed and looked down at herself, the black garter belt lay askew on her hips, the stockings folded neatly on her night stand.

Standing in her bathroom, she unhooked the garters and dropped them into her hamper, taking a good long look at herself in the mirror. Her curls from the night before were a tangled mess and she had a brightly bruised love bite just under her collar bone, and minor bruises on her right hip in the shape of James’ metal fingers. It had been a good night, a great night really. She just needed to shake the feeling of loneliness from waking up alone.

Darcy brushed her teeth and wrangled her messy curls into a bun on the back of her head. She pulled on an old wife beater, which nicely showed off the love bite, and an old pair of Culver sweatpants. The smell of coffee nocked clear the last of the cobwebs from her brain, the sight of James standing in the kitchen flipping pancakes in nothing but a pair of low slung sleep pants chased away the alone feeling, especially when he looked up and grinned, his eyes zeroing in on the bite, a jolt of desire rand down her spine.

“Morning, doll,” he caught her lips in a fierce kiss, his arms winding around her waist.

“Morning, babe,” Darcy snagged a cup of coffee, nipping at his lips playfully, before taking a healthy drink from the brew. “I missed you this morning.” She immediately knew she’d said the wrong thing, James’ face fell and he stepped back.

“It’s complicated,” he hung his head and rounded the counter to go back to the pancakes. She followed him, wrapping her arm around his waist and laying her head against his back.

“Is it complicated because of your nightmares,” Darcy asked and took a deep breath, she seriously didn’t want to open this particular can of worms this morning, she’d had serious plans to take him back to bed after pancakes, but he needed to know how she felt. Open and honest, they’d both promised, and he’d looked so worried the night before when he confessed about the kiss he’d shared with Steve. “Or because of Steve?”

James blew out the air he’d been holding. “A little of both?” Darcy was thrilled he’d been able to be honest, but wished he wouldn’t worry so much.

“Of course it is,” she turned him around in her arms and lifted his chin to look at her. “That’s fine, I just wish you’d woken me up to let me know you were going.”

“I woke up thinking you were Steve,” James wound their fingers together, the servos in his arm twitching. “When he would get sick in the winters, they were always the worst times, he’d come curl up in my bed, I’d stay up all night just making sure he was still breathing, and I looked down and it was you and I was so happy and so sad at the same time. I left before I could wake you.”

“I get it,” She ran her hands down his arms, the metal plates cold along her palms, but grounding. His past was one of the things that made her love him so fiercely, but also made her the most sad. “It sucked waking up alone, but it’s okay.” She laid a kiss against his chin and smiled slightly at him. “I know about the nightmares, no matter if you close the door or not, I hear you sometimes. And I knew about Steve going in, he’s your best friend and you’re in love with him, I’m, not standing in the way of that. I’m here with you because I want to be, wake me up if you need to, I’m not going to get upset.”

“I’m with you, doll,” James shook his head. “I’ve been looking forward to spending the night with you, and I bolted half way through the night because of Steve, that’s not fair to you.”

“You loving Steve doesn’t change us,” she squeezed his hands. “We’ve talked about this, it’s okay with me. I’m not saying I’m okay with an open relationship, if you start bringing other chicks into our apartment I’ll cut your balls off while you sleep,” he chuckled a little, and she felt tension drain a little from his arms. “But if you want to work things out with Steve, that’s absolutely fine. It’s even encouraged.”

“Oh,” he just looked wide eyed before his face melted into a full force Bucky Barnes grin. James grabbed her to steal a kiss. “So now what?”

“Now we eat breakfast, because boy did I work off a lot of calories last night, and then I have some really serious plans to find out what you do or don’t have under those very nice fleece pants,” James gave her a wolfish grin. “And then you are going to go and talk to Steve, work on the relationship you guys have been mostly avoiding,” Darcy pulled the spatula off the counter and discarded the three burned pancakes and putting more batter on the griddle. “Maybe give him a few kisses to tide him over while you to figure things out, and when you get back home we can camp out in front of Netflix and make out like teenagers on the couch, and then later, if you are a very good boy, we can see if I can give you a matching love bite, cause I think it would look very sexy.”

“So you’ve got the day planned,” James snatched the spatula back and shooed her off to the stools while he finished breakfast.

“I’ve had some time to think.”

Several hours later, Darcy walked into their apartment to find James laying on the couch, his feet hanging over the back, hands clasped on his stomach, looking grumpy. Definitely not the face of a man who had spent the morning kissing an American Icon, or one who was looking forward to debouching his girlfriend on the living room couch.

Darcy walked up to him, looking at his upside down face. “What’s wrong?”

“I couldn’t do it,” James said, whipping his hands over his face.

“I’m very sure you can,” she gave him a sly grin, then let it slid on her face at his serious expression.

“We sat down and talked, I told him how I’ve felt about how controlling he’s been and how much I appreciated him putting up with me while you and I were fighting. We talked about what you and I discussed this morning and about our relationship.” He sighed, clearly frustrated with himself. “I wanted to kiss him. I like kissing him, he’s beautiful and he love me and I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember, granted that memory isn’t all it used to be, but that feeling is loud and clear. And now it’s okay for me to feel that way and I wanted to do it,” James growled and clenched his fists. “And this little voice in the back of my head was saying that I shouldn’t, because I have you and that’s enough.”

“You don’t need to feel that way,” Darcy told him, sitting down.

“I don’t want to screw this thing we have up,” he told her.

“You won’t screw this up,” she lay down, pillowing her head on his stomach. “I don’t want you to look back and resent me because you chose me. Its fine with me, Steve is a wonderfully beautiful man, he’s my friend and the thought of you two together is a total turn on.”

“I’m not going to resent you.”

“You can’t promise me that,” she told him. “I don’t want you to promise me that. I want you to sort this out, one way or another. We don’t know if we will work, and you don’t know if you and Steve will have anything beyond a few kisses, but you’ve got to give it a shot, otherwise it’ll always be there.”

“It just feels weird, kissing someone other than you when I know I’m coming home to you,” James sighed and looked over at her. “You know I can see down your shirt?”

“That was strategic,” Darcy smiled at him, laughing a little at the wolfish gleam in his eyes. “Do you need me to come with you?”

“Would you?” Seeing her actively not bothered by him kissing someone else might make him feel better about the whole thing, one way or another, he needed to resolve his feelings with Steve.

Darcy kicked her feet up on the coffee table in Steve’s immaculate apartment and watched the boys stare awkwardly at each other. “The sexual tension in this room is so think I could cut it with a knife, boys,” she mumbled, mostly to herself. “Would you kiss each other already? I’m happy to sit here and hold your hands, but Jesus, I have plans that you are already fucking up and it’s been half an hour of nothing.”

“So,” Steve scratched the back of his neck, his face a bright pink. “You’re just going to sit there and watch while we kiss?”

“Yep,” she let her lips hold onto the word. “Something else you want me doing, Cap?” Steve’s face went deeper red and James just looked at her. “Do you need a little push?” she asked, James just shrugged. “Here, I’ll do it, it’s super easy, then you can do it, and then we can all fucking relax and I can go home and wait for my super-hot boyfriend to cuddle with me on our couch.” Darcy stood up between the two boys and grabbed Steve’s collar, much to both boys surprise, and hauled him down to her lips. After his initial surprise, Steve cupped the back of her head and returned the kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair and leaned all the way into him, molding her body to his. He might act all proper and virginal, but boy could he kiss.

“Darcy, doll,” James’ voice had gone husky and tight. “Let go of Steve, he’s about to combust if he gets any redder.”

“Oh really?” Darcy grinned up at Steve, who was still holding her waist. His face was a lovely shade of pink, and he had a dopy look on his face. “Okay, James, it’s your turn.” Steve made a strangled sound in the back of his throat.

“She’s just going to stare at us until we kiss, punk,” James told him.

“Oh, don’t kid yourself, baby,” Darcy plopped down on the couch and put her hands behind her head. “I’m going to stare at you while you kiss, too.” James placed his hand along the back of the other man’s neck and pulled them into a gentle kiss that gradually built in intensity. Darcy groaned as she watched them clutch at each other. James’ hand fisted in the back of Steve’s shirt, while Steve held his waist, holding the soldier firmly against him. Netflix was going to have to wait, she was taking James directly to her room. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	20. Say What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Say What You Want by Texas
> 
> So this took longer then I thought it would, mostly because I have some rampant plot bunnies running wild around my other story, and they will not be contained, like at all. But here it is.

Equilibrium

Chapter 20: Say What You Want

James laid back against Darcy’s headboard, his fingers lazily running down her arm as she swished through emails on her tablet, dismissing and prioritizing her correspondences with lightning speed. Sometimes, when they were alone, she’d quietly do something that would remind him how insanely intelligent she was. How very much Tony Stark’s daughter she was. She sifted through emails and typed out code like they weren’t laying naked in bed watching some strange yellow people wreak havoc on London.

“What’cha doing, doll?” his fingers idly playing with the inside of her wrist before making their journey back up her arm.

“Working on something for Friday,” she told him, her head resting comfortably against his flesh shoulder. They’d briefly experimented with her laying on his other shoulder, since it didn’t fall asleep, but a few caught strands of hair had put the kibosh on that pretty quickly, mechanical arm cuddling was only for when they were fully clothed. Ripping out your girlfriend’s hair was decidedly not sexy. “I’ve got her speed up, but she’s still not catching on like Jarvis did.”

“Could it be that Jarvis was an anomaly?” James asked, she shifted against him and tapped at the screen.

“I refuse to believe that,” Darcy tossed the tablet aside. “So, let’s tick things off our list.”

“List?” he asked, pushing the tablet onto the night stand before it got knocked off the bed and stepped on, again.

“Yeah,” Darcy turned, the sheet pooling around her waist, revealing her gloriously bare chest. James promptly got distracted. “Eyes front, soldier.”

“Oh, they’re front,” he flashed a crooked grin at her boobs. She gently lifted his chin, but his eyes kept clear focus. “Come on, babe, I’m working with seventy odd years of back log. I’m getting some quality breast watching time in here.”

“Do I need to put a shirt on?” she laughed at his horrified expression, but his focus shifted upward. “As I was saying.”

“Right, lists,” James shifted around, studiously not looking at his beautifully naked girlfriend, who was he kidding, he was absolutely looking, and distracted. “What lists?”

“We’ve had our pre-required three dates,” Darcy listed on her fingers.

“Hence our current state of undress,” he ran his hands down her arms and splayed them out along her hips and belly.

“And you and Steve are making up,” she ticked off another finger. “Which I’m really happy about.”

“I still don’t understand how you’re not jealous,” James went to pull his hands away from her, feeling wrong talking about his blossoming relationship with Steve while touching her.

“If it were anyone else,” Darcy put her hands over his, holding them to her skin, so their hands framed her breasts together. “I would be, but I want this for you, open and honest, remember.”

“Open and honest,” he agreed and took a long deep breath, pulling her around to rest against his chest, her long brown hair tickling his right arm, where he brushed it to avoid disaster. “I liked watching you kiss Steve,” he said, playing with the hair curling down her back. Darcy blinked up at him and smiled. “You should do it more often.”

“Oh no,” Darcy laced his fingers with hers and snuggled back into his chest. “Kissing Steve is your job, I’m just here for moral support, and to occasionally watch, and to kiss you.”

“Steve enjoyed it, too,” he told her, but she just rolled her eyes. “You don’t believe me?”

“He was just excited about finally getting some Jamie sugar,” she told him. “Back to our list.”

“You don’t believe me?” he tipped her chin up to look at him. “I thought he was going to throw you down on the couch and have his way with you, and God help me, Darcy, but I would have happily stood there and watched.”

“Please,” she felt her cheeks heat up and looked away. “It wasn’t anything like that.”

“Suit yourself, doll,” James told her, fitting their hands together around her waist.

“So, last item on the list, for now,” she wiggled one last finger. “You have a date with Steve for next Friday.”

“The one you told me you expected me not to come home after?” James asked, mentally adding a few items to the list, ones that he would be discussing with Steve about in the near future. “You know, you made me wait three dates.”

“And you and Steve have been waiting since the forties,” Darcy shrugged. “Look, it’s not my business when or if you two have sex, I’m just giving you the opportunity.”

“And what if after dinner and a movie with Stevie, I want to come home and make time with my girl?” James whispered in her ear, trailing kisses down the side of her neck.

“You won’t,” Darcy tilted her head, letting him work his way down along her shoulder. “But if you do, I’ll be more than happy to help you work out any frustrations you might have.”

“And the frustration I’m having right now?” he asked.

“I think I’m prepared to help you with that, too,” she smiled, catching his lips over her shoulder, and turning into the kiss.

“How prepared?”

“Very.”

*****

It was dark when Darcy woke. It took her a minute to figure out what had pulled her from sleep. The air conditioning was the only sound in the room, the chilled air raising goose flesh along her bare skin. She searched around for the covers, but couldn’t find them. Darcy switched on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a soft glow. A bundle of tangled sheets curled at the far side of the bed, James’ brown hair sticking ridiculously out of the top. He’d promised to stay with her, feeling bad about hurting her feelings, and there he was, cowering in the corner of her bed, a wounded sound coming from his cocoon of bed clothes.

Darcy scooted across the bed, pulling him into her lap as best she could, her fingers combing through his hair until the sound stopped. James nuzzled into her stomach and curled his arms around her.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” James’ voice was small and muffled against her skin.

“Don’t be,” she rubbed down his back, loosening the sheets from around him so she could slide under. “That’s what I’m here for, I’m actually kind of upset you didn’t wake me up on your own.”

“To be woken up by your boyfriend’s nightmares,” he curled around her, laying a small kiss on her shoulder as he spooned against her back. “Darcy, doll, you shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“James, I love you,” she pulled his metal arm around her waist, spreading his fingers along her belly. “I’m here for the hard parts as well as the easy ones.”

“My hard parts are bad, though,” he ran his fingers along the soft skin of her stomach, marveling at how venerable she made herself to him without a second thought, treating his deadliest weapon like it was nothing. A normal guy wouldn’t give you so much trouble.”

“Let’s discuss my life, where my closet friends are an astrophysicist, a former Russian assassin, and an alien prince. My father is a billionaire who happens to also be a super hero. And I have this formerly brain washed centennial assassin, who I’m completely crazy about. Where would a normal guy fit in my life?” she looked at him over her shoulder. “I’m happy to deal with some rough edges, as long as you help me through mine.”

“I think I can handle that,” he said, pulling her tighter against him.

“Good,” Darcy pulled the covers securely over them and snuggling into her pillow, keeping James’ hand against her body. “Now, can you go back to sleep, or do you want me to que something up on Netflix?”

“I think we need some noise,” he said, carefully moving her thick hair aside, so he could nuzzle into her shoulder. “I’m not done with Once yet, you want to pull that up?”

“With or without ice cream?”

“It’s like twenty degrees outside,” he told her, pushing the blankets back so she could get up, knowing no matter how much he protested ice cream, it was happening.

“And you keep the thermostat set at seventy five, old men,” she scooted to the end of the bed, slipping her feet into her Hulk slippers.

He just shook his head, watching his girl walk to the kitchen in nothing but the slippers. He marveled at this beautiful woman, who with an out of tune guitar and a snarky smile had chased away the assassin, fixed his broken relationship with his best friend, and made him feel like a whole person, all without once flinching.

Darcy ducked her head back into the room. “So, where were you on the ice cream decision?” She smiled and produced two bowls. “Cause I’ve got Rocky Road and Phish Food, and I know they’re really similar, but they both have their own charms.”

“Phish food is your favorite,” James smiled and held out his hand to her. “So, I’ll take the Rocky Road.” He pulled her into bed, taking the bowls from her as she situated herself.

“You’re perfect,” she kissed his chin and queued up Once.

“Not hardly,” he let her settle herself against him, and watched as she twisted the spoon around in her mouth, getting every drop of chocolate off of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feed the author.
> 
> I will be moving the OT3 plot forward in the next few chapters, James and Steve are going to definitely do some serious talking. And Steve still needs to work on apologizing for being such an asshat, so that's coming. And as promised, there will be some back story about Tony and Darcy's mom, its all coming.


	21. Currency Of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Currency of Love by the Silversun Pickups
> 
> Sorry this took so long. I've actually got the next chapter written and ready to be typed. I kinda forgot I hadn't put this one up yet. What can I say, I need more sleep.

Equilibrium

Chapter 21: Currency of Love

The common room was quiet first thing in the morning, all the residents of Avengers Tower were either still sleeping, or out running, if you were Captain Up Too Early. Darcy sat at the kitchen counter watching coffee drip into the carafe, a mug held carefully between her hands.

“Offspring,” Tony sat down to his daughter’s right, a black thermos dangling from one hand, a Starkpad in the other. “What’s got you up at stupid o’clock in the morning?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Darcy’s eyes didn’t waver from the coffee pot, which just topped the two cup mark.

“That have anything to do with Bucky Bear?” Tony asked lightly, watching her eyes start to droop.

“Not all,” she sighed and twirled the mug between her hands. “He has night mares,” Darcy stopped and rubbed her eyes. “I shouldn’t tell you this.”

“I’d be more concerned if he didn’t,” her father said, putting his thermos down on the counter and pulling his daughter into his arms. “With all the shit that man’s been through.”

“Yeah,” Darcy wrapped her arms around her father’s waist, tucking her head against his chest. “Mom’s guitar broke, well the e-string.”

“I was wondering why you weren’t lugging that old thing around,” Tony ran his hands up and down her back, smoothing her tousled hair down. “You know she bought that old thing at a thrift store when we were in college?”

“Yep,” she smiled into his worn Mega Death t-shirt. “Mom bought everything at thrift stores, said if it was good enough for someone else, it was god enough for us, too. No use spending money on new,” she sighed, thinking about her mom still made her chest pull tight, Darcy figured it always would. “James bought me a new one.”

“You make it hard for me not to like this guy,” he rested his chin on the top of her head, looking out on the darkened skyline.

“You should like him,” she sat back and looked over at the coffee maker, four cups, almost enough to night be too bitter.

“He’s still unhinged, little one,” Tony told her. Darcy made a face, clearly trying to convey how cracked she though he was. “And he’s sleeping with my daughter. I can not like him for that alone. Plus he’s been making gooey eyes at his Star Spangled best friend.”

“Not just eyes,” Darcy grinned, though Tony wasn’t looking at her. “They’ve got a date.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Tony swiped his mug off the counter and started toward the elevators.

“Where are you going?” she slipped off the stool to follow her father, and the very unfriendly look he was sporting.

“I’m going to have a little chat with the Winter Soldier,” he told her, jabbing his finger at the down button.

“Oh no, you’re not,” Darcy spun him back around and pushed him back towards the kitchen. “James is already feeling guilty enough for kissing Steve, you aren’t going to talk him out of a date he’s really looking forward to.”

“You’re alright with this?” her father asked incredulously.

“I orchestrated it, Tony,” she pushed him back onto the stool and filled his thermos with coffee, sticking the carafe back under the drip, sighing at having to wait even longer for her fix. “Don’t poke at things you don’t understand.”

“Noted,” Tony took a deep breath of the coffee she’d shoved into his hands and calmed down. “Hazelnut?”

“Mom’s favorite,” she told him, back to staring at the coffee slowly dripping down.

“I remember,” he said quietly. “You know I really did care for your mom.” It’d been a long time since he’d thought about his college friend when he got her letter, bounded all over the country before finally sliding across Pepper’s desk. Neither of them were really surprised he’d had a kid, he hadn’t been particularly responsible, but the letter from Sarah Lewis was unexpected. He tracked Darcy down to Culver University and Dr. Foster, the same Dr. Foster who was Thor’s lady love. Scooping them both up and bringing them to Avenger Tower was the easy part.

“I know,” her mom hadn’t ever talked about her father, and had certainly never bad mouthed him, “I really miss her.”

“I know, baby,” Tony wrapped his arms around his little girl again, rubbing his hands down her back and staying quiet about the wet spot on his chest as she sniffled quietly.

*****

Steve wondered into the lab after lunch, the music was off, which was an oddity. Whenever Darcy was in her lab. He looked around, but she was nowhere to be seen, even though Friday insisted she was there. Three tall server banks were in various states of assembly, but no Darcy.

“Darcy?” Steve’s voice echoed through the concrete and glass room. A quiet groan came from the furthest stand of servers. “Darcy are you okay, doll?” He rounded the monstrous electronics.

“Fine,” Darcy grumbled, pulling herself out from the empty bottom rack. “Just must have fallen asleep.” She rubbed her eyes and stuck a hand out for help up. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.” The tips of Steve’s ears turned pink and Darcy laughed. “It’s so sweet when you blush.”

“Year,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “So, I came to see if you wanted to head over to the Guggenheim, but I think you’d be better off going to bed.”

“I’d love to spend an obscene about of time looking at modern art with you,” Darcy smiled at her friend, leaning into his side as he pulled her to the bank of elevators. “Maybe you would settle for a little Netflix and a promise to let you drag me around an art museum next week.”

“I think I can do that.”

*****

James walked into the apartment hours later, the home screen for Netflix displayed on the television and his two favorite people curled up together on the couch, Steve snoring lightly into Darcy’s hair. James pulled the crazy afghan from the back of the couch and tucked it around them. “Friday,” the soldier addressed the AI. “Please bring the light down to fifty percent,” he said quietly. The lights lowered and he smiled as Darcy burrowed further into Steve’s arms. James walked silently into his room to retrieve his gun bag and snuck back out of the apartment.

*****

Darcy wondered into the common room for the second time that day. The room was bustling with life. Sam stood in the kitchen, pulling baking sheets out of the oven, Jane was cueing up the Wii, and James and Thor stood close together by the sofa looking down at a cell phone with great interest. Darcy sidled up to her boyfriend, ducking under his raised arm and sliding and arm of her own around his waist. The weight of the metal appendage was comfortable around her shoulders.

“What’cha doing, Big Guy?” Darcy asked as James placed a kiss against her hair.

“James is attempting to help me with my new cellular telephone device,” Thor boomed, showing Darcy the brand new phone, plastic still on the screen.

“Thor’s been having some trouble texting,” James told his girlfriend, an amused smile on his face. She just nodded sagely.

“You crack the screen again, buddy?” Darcy took the phone from the thunder god’s hands, turning it over in her hands. It was the newest incarnation of Tony’s StarkPhone, manufactured exclusively for the residents of Avenger Tower. “We’ve been trying to make this thing Thor proof,” she told the soldier. “But have yet to be successful.”

“He cracks the screen,” James nodded.

“I can’t get him to not push so hard on the buttons,” she smiled at her friend. “Push gently.”

“I do push gently,” Thor poked at the screen and Darcy winced. “Everyone is always telling me to push gently, it doesn’t respond to gently.”

“I’ve looked into using some kind of bullet proof glass, but it would sort of make a touch screen useless. Upside, you could drop the bitch off an eighty story building and the screen wouldn’t crack. The electronics would be toast, but there wouldn’t be a dent in the glass.”

“Maybe we should table the phone problem, Big Guy,” James handed the phone back to Thor. “Jane’s waiting for our great Mario Kart tournament.” He looked down at Darcy’s raised eyebrow. “Jane’s words.”

“I’m game,” Darcy grinned. “You ready to get your ass kicked by a girl?”

“I’m sure Jane will kick my ass totally,” James told her, swiping at her butt as she stuck her tongue out at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you all think. Please don't forget to feed the author.


	22. All You Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by All You Wanted by Alison Sudol and Sounds Under Radio

Equilibrium

Chapter 22: All You Wanted

Darcy turned up her tunes, flopping down on the couch with a giant bowl of Phish Food propped in her lap, Hulk slippers crossed on the coffee table. The dull throb of bass stirred in her gut as she scrolled through her various and sundry social media accounts and licked her spoon clean. Her fuzzy slippers bouncing in time with the music. She supposed most girls in her situation would be dwelling on the fact that their boyfriends were out with another romantic interest; instead, Darcy was bopping around the apartment in her ridiculous Hello Kitty pajamas, dancing like an idiot to her ‘Me Time’ play list, and scrolling through Instagram, genuinely having the time of her life.

Three hours earlier she’d shoved James out the apartment door, brushing an odd bit of lint off his cobalt blue dress shirt and explaining that on no uncertain terms that she did not expect him home. She supposed it should have been awkward, instead it was nice having her space to herself again. She ordered Thai, which James didn’t like, had a nice glass of wine and a bubble bath with candles and no lecture about fire safety, and finally she was winding down with a pint of her favorite boys, Ben and Jerry, and pumping Metallica through the apartment speakers.

She was licking the last of her chocolate and caramel ice cream off her spoon when Friday cut into the music.

“Ms. Lewis,” she really needed the AI to cut the stupid honorific, JARVIS had been convinced. Stupid AI. “You have a call coming in.”

*****

Steve ran his fingers though Bucky’s hair, leaning his head back on his pillow. He sighed deeply as Bucky wound his arms around his waist, a tiny knot of tension still lingering along the soldier’s naked back. “Call her.”

Bucky lifted his head off of Steve’s chest and looked up into his friends stormy blue eyes, hooded and sated. “What?” he put his head back on the hard chest, huffing out a sigh. “No, we agreed that tonight would be for us, or Darcy agreed and I intend to listen.”

Steve smiled, his fingers gently scratching at the other man’s scalp. “Call her, Bucky,” he said again.

“I’m sorry,” he rubbed his cheek against Steve’s chest, the soft skin stretched over hard muscle, it was nice, comforting, but he felt a missing piece and the guilt ate at him. Bucky had this amazing and beautiful girlfriend who wanted nothing but his happiness, including pushing him to pursue his long time love. Now he had his best friend, too. Boyfriend? Who was just as willing to share him. Bucky felt like a greedy asshole, because that wasn’t enough. He wanted his girl’s soft curves while he was bedded down with Steve’s hard lines.

“Why?” the question was soft as fingers continued to thread through the long strands of his hair, sending wonderful shivers down his spine.

“I miss her,” the soft puff of her breath against his chest, her exaggerated eye roll when he apologized for his nightmares when she brought them ice cream in bed and a completely indecent hour of the night just because he woke them up, the soft smell of lavender from her shampoo. Just her.

“So call her and tell her to get her cute butt over here,” Steve left no room for argument, pulling Bucky up for a quick kiss before dropping his phone into Bucky’s hand.

*****

“Hey doll,” James’ voice filtered through the speakers, the rumbling contentment making her heart flutter.

“Hey baby,” Darcy got off the couch to deposit her ice cream bowl into the sink, flicking light switches along the way. “You calling to say good night?” This was their first night apart in a week, most of his everyday essentials were creeping into her room and bathroom.

“Not exactly,” she could hear him sigh into the phone.

“Oh?” Darcy stopped at the door to her room, her brow knitted together. “Everything alright? Did you forget something?”

“You?” James said quietly into the phone. “I miss you, and Steve told me to call.”

“I miss you too, Jamie,” Darcy sighed and closed the door to her room.

“Will you come over?” he sounded so unsure, so lost.

“You want a kiss good night?” she asked, already pulling on her slippers and palming her keys.

“I want you to stay,” James told her.

“Oh sweetie,” Darcy dropped the keys back in their bowl. “That’s not fair to Steve, I get you all the time, and tonight’s his night.”

“I know,” he said. “It was Steve’s idea.”

“Oh,” Darcy hesitated, her hands itching to grab her keys and high tail it down to Steve’s apartment. “Is he sure?”

“I’m sure, Darce,” Steve’s voice was slightly muffled but strong. “Doors unlocked.”

“Alright, but you boys better have pants on when I arrive,” she could hear Steve chuckle as she snatched up her keys and disconnected the call.

*****

Darcy stood at the front door of Steve’s apartment, her hand loose on the door handle. It felt wrong to walk in without ringing the bell, but she didn’t want to make Steve answer the door at a quarter past midnight after he’d expressly told her to come on in.

The apartment was dim, only the lights filtering in from the floor to ceiling windows in the living room to navigate by, but the door to the master bedroom was open. Darcy stood in the doorway, looking over at the two beautiful men curled up together on the king sized bed, James’ head pillowed on Steve’s shoulder, the light from the television flickering across their faces. She felt ridiculous in her Hello Kitty sleep shorts with ‘PURRFECT’ written across the butt and her hot pink tank top, but the boys both lit up when they saw her. James pulled away from Steve to help her onto the bed, Hulk slippers dropping from her feet to the floor. He kissed her softly and settled her against his chest, two sets of fingers slipping into her hair. She was asleep before she even looked to see what they were watching.

*****

Darcy snuggled down into the blankets, the room was deliciously warm and quiet, and the warm arms around her were heavy and luxuriously comfortable. She ran her hands up the arms holding her and stilled. Darcy lay frozen, her fingers tight against the arms banded around her body when the bathroom door opened. Steam followed James out of the bathroom, a towel low on his hips as he dried his hair with another. He dropped the towel over his shoulders and smiled fondly toward the bed, feeling utterly at peace, until he saw the look on Darcy’s face. He cringed a little at the discomfort and confusion written across her features.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” James ran a hand down her arm, gently pulling her hand away from where it was cutting into Steve’s skin and planted a kiss on her palm. “Is Steve keeping my best girl warm for me?” He winked at her.

“He’s quite the cuddler,” Darcy relaxed back into her friends’ embrace and smiled up at her boyfriend, who was busy getting dressed, pulling clothes from the overnight bag she’d packed for him. “Did you boys have a nice night?”

“Yeah,” he pulled a t-shirt over this head. “It was really great.” He picked his towels up off the floor, something he didn’t bother doing in their own apartment. “But it got even better when you got here.” He dropped down on to the bed and kissed her lightly on the lips.

“I love you,” Darcy murmured against his lips, her fingers running through his wet hair.

“I love you, too,” James pulled away and rolled off the bed, taking in the sight of the two people he loved most, curled up together. “If you’d like, the showers free.”

“Don’t got anything to change into,” she stretched, feeling Steve’s arms tighten around her. “And I don’t think Captain Octopus is going to let me up just yet.” James chuckled and sauntered out of the bedroom. “Make coffee, maybe that will rouse the sleeping beast.”

“Not sleeping,” came a rumbling reply from behind her. “Just comfortable.” Steve squeezed her gently and James laughed harder from the kitchen.

“You both suck,” her statement did nothing to quiet their mirth. Darcy just groaned and resigned herself to Steve snuggles while her boyfriend made coffee. Life could be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, and we're moving closer to our favorite threesome. Give me your thoughts!


	23. Entwined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entwined by Lacuna Coil
> 
> This chapter took way longer than it should have, mostly due to my rabid 'Kitten' plot bunny, who will not quit. But I wrestled that bitch to the ground and squeezed this one out. I hope you enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 23: Entwined

Darcy lay back on her couch in her lab her ‘Suck it Friday’ playlist tripping through the speakers, and bits of code floated over her head as she shifted and turned ad rewrote them. She hummed along to AFI and tapped her foot while tossing a bit of ode she didn’t like into a glowing trash bin.

She’d woken up that morning to the sounds of kissing from the living room and a toothbrush for her in Steve’s bathroom. She’d used the toothbrush but, skipped out on coffee and her good morning kiss. Steve seemed to have that covered, anyway. Darcy felt like a bit of a coward, but she’d woken up every day that week to the two men, who both were always up before her, in various states of arousal and undress. She was happy that James was setting into his relationship with Steve, she even encouraged it, she just wasn’t ready for the Full Monte before coffee. And wasn’t quite sure how to broach the subject with the boys.

The sound of her phone startled her and she tipped sideways off the couch, the code she was holding disappeared into the ether as she flailed her arms around. Darcy pulled herself back up; nursing the elbow she cracked against the concrete floor. “Darcy,” she said into the phone that she retrieved from the cushions of the couch.

“How are you, mladshaya sestra?” Natasha asked, the tension falling from Darcy’s shoulders at the sound of the other woman’s calm voice.

“Little stressed, how’s the farm?” she leaned back against the couch and vanished the last of the code still floating above her.

“Clint has me helping the kids with the chickens, I’ve been banished from the barn,” Natasha sounded less than enthusiastic. “I love the man, but if one more stupid bird bites me, I will not be responsible for my actions.”

“Sounds fair enough,” Darcy laughed, her friends had been gone for weeks, and she was really missing them. Talking to the assassin was oddly grounding. “Speaking of, where is Bird Boy?”

“Tearing out a wall in the living room,” she could hear her friend rolling her eyes through the phone. “I think Laura may actually kill him this time, which brings me to the reason for my call.”

“You need a reason to call me, dorogaya moya?” Darcy asked, tucking the phone between her ear and shoulder. “It’s nice to just hear from you, sometimes.”

“Ya lyublyu tyebya, too,” Natasha’s smile was audible. “But I do have a reason.” Darcy could hear her friend walking around the house, her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor. “Laura shays you’ve been putting off coming down here, she said Tony wanted you to come back in October, and then you promised you’d come after the New Year, and she said you’d put it off again.”

“Yeah,” Darcy felt awful. “With Steve and James doing their thing, it didn’t feel like the time to abandon them.”

“The boys need time on their own, and you need to come down here and ride horses with Laura, because God knows I’m done with animals and do not want any smelly horse anywhere near me,” her friend huffed. “I’ll be by tomorrow morning to pick you up.”

“Tash,” Darcy started.

“No arguments, Mishka,” the Widow hung up before she could protest further.

*****

James leaned against the door frame of Darcy’s room, watching her neatly fold jeans and place them into the opened suit case on her bed. She had her head phones on and was bouncing to the beat of the song, humming along. He watched as she dumped a pair of riding boots on top and spun around, jumping a good foot in the air when she saw him.

“Jesus, creeper,” she held her hand over her beating heart, her initial frown melting into a warm smile as she pulled out the ear buds. “Been there long?”

“We going somewhere, doll?” he asked, still lounging casually against the door.

“Just me,” Darcy sat down on the bed and looked up at her beautiful boyfriend as his face fell. “I’m going out to Clint’s farm for a few days. His wife’s been begging me to come out.”

“Oh,” James slid off the door frame and disappeared down the hall.

“Jamie,” she sighed and pulled herself off the bed, he stood at the end of the call and watched her, his face blank. “I’m just going to visit a friend for a few days; I’ll be back first thing Monday morning.”

“This isn’t about what happened this morning?” he asked cautiously.

“No,” she told him firmly. “It was a bit of an over step for Steve to get me a tooth brush for his place, but I’m not going to run away because of it. If it’d bothered me enough, I would have said something. We said open and honest.”

“That’s not what I meant,” James shifted from foot to foot, and anxious tick that had only started recently. Darcy’d noticed that the more of Bucky that surfaced, the more tells that James had. It was sweet. “You caught us in an uncomfortably compromising position, and you just left.”

“Yes, I walked into Steve’s living room, in Steve’s apartment, to my boyfriend getting a blow job from his boyfriend, again in Steve’s apartment, where I’ve spent more than one night with the two of you,” Darcy rolled her eyes. “I left because I didn’t want to bother you both, not because I was upset or embarrassed.”

“I didn’t get my good morning kiss,” he looked down at his hands. “You ran out and I came home to you packing.”

“Oh sweetie,” she sighed and pulled him back down the hall to her room. “I didn’t run out, I walked out very quietly, trying not to disturb you. Did you want me to just hang out until you were done? Cause I’m not going to stand there and drink coffee in the kitchen while you two have sex.”

“Right,” he huffed and sat down running his hands over his face. “It just made me sad.”

“I’m sorry,” Darcy leaned back on her bed and looked at James. “I’m not leaving because of this morning. Honestly, the tooth brush thing weirded me out more than seeing Steve with his head between your legs.”

“Steve just wanted you to feel welcome at his place,” he told her, catching her hand and pulling her against his chest. “You always run out first thing after you get up, saying you need to shower and brush your teeth, so we got you a tooth brush, the same kind you have here.”

“That’s very sweet,” she laid a kiss on his metal shoulder through his t-shirt. “Next time, how about we all just sit down and talk about it, instead of just springing stuff on me.”

“We can do that,” he nodded into her hair, taking a good long breath of her lavender scented curls. “You’re leaving in the morning?”

“Yeah, Tasha’s picking me up.”

“If Steve comes too, will you go out with me tonight?” James asked, bracing for rejection. “Nowhere crazy, just to that little burger joint down the block.”

Darcy kissed James’ jaw, really thinking about his request. Her objection to going out places with him wasn’t for lack of desire, more than anything she wanted to get to show off her beautiful boy, and act like a normal couple, but they weren’t a normal couple. She sighed, with Steve there, too; maybe she could just relax and go with it, safety in numbers, right? “Alright,” Darcy conceded, and felt James’ arms squeeze around her. “But just to the burger place, no surprise trip to an ice cream place or side trip to get a cup of coffee on the way home.”

“Just the burger place,” he agreed. “We won’t even stay for desert.”

“We can have desert at home,” she told him wiggling her eyebrows at him suggestively. “Sadly, Steve will have to find his own desert.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” James chuckled. “He go desert for breakfast.” Darcy pushed him off of her, laughing. “Love you, sweet girl.”

“Love you, too,” Darcy rolled back over to James and tucked his arms around her. “I’ll miss you this weekend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed the 'Equilibrium' plot bunny, please.


	24. Rangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Rangers by A Fine Frenzy.
> 
> And I'm back with an update for this wonderful fic. If my plot bunnies cooperate the next update will be for Kitten, we'll see how well behaved they are.
> 
> Enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 24: Rangers

Darcy loved the farm, the warm smells and quiet noises reminded her of growing up in rural Pennsylvania. She walked down the ramp, her duffle bag over her shoulder, and took a long deep breath.

“The kids are waiting, Mishka,” Natasha told her, striding down the ramp and across the neatly manicured lawn. Darcy just nodded, taking in the sights. It’d been far too long since she’d been out in the Iowa country side, and much too long since she’d seen Clint’s family. Tony’d left Darcy with Laura, giving exactly no explanation, after his sociopathic robot went on a rampage. She’s immediately fallen in love with Clint’s family, helping out with the kids while the very pregnant Laura took a much needed breather.

“Aunt D,” Cooper sprinted across the lawn, his little sister following closely at his heels. “Aunt Nat said you were coming.” Darcy dropped her bag as the young boy launched himself into her arms, followed quickly by Lila, knocking Darcy onto her ass and inciting a fit of giggles from all three as they landed in a pile on the floor.

“You guys are getting too big to do this,” she told them, her butt smarting from its impact with the ramp.

“Aunt Nat can catch up,” Lila piped up, wrapping her arms around Darcy’s neck.

“Natasha’s much stronger than I am, sweetie,” Darcy hauled the three of them to their feet, allowing Lila to climb onto her back. “It’s all that wheat grass she drinks.”

“Dad says it’s the vodka,” Cooper told her, nodding his head sagely, like he actually knows what he’s talking about.

“It might be both,” she laughed, holding out her hand for the boy to take. He was almost too old to want to hold her hand, and she was going to soak it up while she could. “I can’t stand either; I’m more of a coffee and pop tart kind of girl.”

“I’m not allowed to have coffee,” Lila said, her little arms squeezing around Darcy’s neck as her legs swung back and forth. “Mom said it’ll make me short.” Darcy let out a bark of laughter. “I want to be like you, Aunt D, do you think if I eat pop tarts I’ll be crazy smart like you and Uncle Tony?”

“I don’t know if that’ll do it, but I’d love to be there when you ask you father,” it took more effort than she wanted to admit to get both herself and Lila up the stairs of the porch. Apparently super sex was not a replacement for actual exercise.

Laura stood in the doorway, Nathaniel propped on her hip and a warm smile on her lips. “Look who it is, little man,” she whispered into the fifteen month old’s ear. “Your Aunt Darcy has finally graced us with her presence.”

“It’s good to see you, too,” Darcy placed a peck on the other woman’s cheek and plucked the baby from her arms, as his sister dropped from her back. “What do you say little Nat, you happy to see your Aunt Darcy?” Nathaniel’s face broke into a wide grin and he placed a sloppy kiss against her lips. “Oh, I love you too, buddy.”

Laura lead the brood into the house, Clint leaned against the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in his hand and plaster dust in his hair. “I see you’ve been slimed,” he handed her a cup of coffee and took his son, who was immediately stolen by his Aunt Nat.

“Only in the best way, birdman,” Darcy wiped some crumbs and saliva from her chin and took a healthy drink from her coffee. “Didn’t there used to be a wall here?”

“Don’t you get him started,” Laura jumped in before Clint could get a word out. “Every time my husband graces up with his presence, the sledge hammer comes out and he starts fixing something that was serving its purpose just fine.”

“You wanted open concept,” he mumbled into his mug. “It’s open now.”

“My kitchen is full of plaster dust,” she shot back. Natasha and Darcy herded the kids out of the kitchen as the adults argue.

“You guys want to show me these chickens your Aunt Nat’s been telling me about?”

*****

Laura found Darcy in the barn feeding a chestnut colored horse sugar cubes. “Well, you’ve made a friend for life,” Laura sat down on a wooden bench to re-lace her boots. “Birdie has an insatiable sweet tooth.”

“Well, she’s a sweet girl,” Darcy ran her hand down the side of the large horse’s neck, feeding Birdie the last of the cubes.

“He,” the older woman chuckled at Darcy’s confused expression. “Clint really shouldn’t be allowed to name the animals, but the names kind of stick, and the kids think Birdie is a great name.”

“Yeah,” Darcy dusted off her palms and gave Birdie a final pat. “Nat introduced me to Darcy the chicken. She’s the prettiest one, don’t eat her.”

Laura laughed brightly, leading them over to the small tack room at one end of the barn. The scent of old wood and sweet straw washed over Darcy as the other woman pulled the door open, spiced with the warm, rich smell of oiled leather. Darcy took a deep breath and held on; feeling tension she didn’t know she was holding, melt away. “She’s our best egg layer; I don’t think she’s in any danger of winding up in a pot.”

“I feel like there’s a joke in there somewhere,” she chuckled.

“If there is, blame my husband and his twisted sense of humor.”

“I’ll let it slide,” Darcy pulled an old saddle down off its hooks and dropped a girth and bridle over her shoulder. “He’s one of the few men I know who doesn’t even occasionally talk to my boobs.”

“I think he sees you as another kid,” Laura told her.

“He gave me a box of Captain America condoms for Christmas,” Darcy dropped her load on the bench outside of Birdie’s stall, glancing at Laura over her shoulder.

“He was supposed to give you the Shield earrings I found while we were on vacation over the summer,” Laura looked slightly pained. “Maybe an older, very responsible niece?”

“The earrings were very nice, too.”

*****

Darcy tipped her face up to the sun, the rolling movement of Birdie’s gait under her and the fresh air in her lungs made her wish she’d come to visit sooner.

“How are you feeling?” Laura asked sometime later, her own horse trotting a few steps to catch up with Darcy and Birdie.

“Good,” she shielded her eyes and looked over at the older woman. “I miss James, and Steve, but I needed to get away.”

“It’s good you’re here,” she told Darcy. “They need to find their own feet without you as a safety net. I know it’s hard to find a balance in any relationship, and you have the added difficulty of James and Steve trying to find their own balance.”

“I don’t know where to draw the line,” Darcy confessed. “I mean, I spend half my nights at Steve’s now with the two of them, they bought me a tooth brush for his place.”

“Sharing’s hard,” Laura nodded, looking ahead down the trail leading into the woods around the property. “Clint and I struggled with it a great deal at the beginning, it gets easier or it doesn’t, unfortunately.”

“I know Clint and Natasha aren’t together, even if they are practically attached at the hip,” both women chuckled. “Who are you sharing him with?”

Laura nodded and took a long breath. “I share him with the world, with Shield, and now the Avengers. He might not be having sex with someone else, but I do have to think about the fact that one day he won’t come home.”

“I worry a bit about James leaving me for Steve,” Darcy admitted. “I’m more worried about how to draw lines, when to tell him I won’t go to Steve’s and cuddle up in bed with the two of them, how I’m supposed to act when the three of us go out and Steve puts his arm around me, or how to handle seeing the two of them having sex, I mean, what am I supposed to do, cause James got all upset that I didn’t give him a good morning kiss the other day, when he was clearly involved with Steve at the time. I can’t just walk over while my boyfriend is getting a blow job from someone else and drop a kiss on his lips and go on with my day.”

“That just depends on how you want to deal with it,” Laura told her. “Do any of these things bother you?”

“No,” Darcy thought about it. “No, they really don’t. I like snuggling up in bed with them, and it’s nice when Steve puts his arms around me, and I love seeing James so happy. It doesn’t hurt that it makes Steve happy, too.” Darcy looked closely at Laura, her friend was studying every movement that Darcy made, just like Clint would do if it was him giving her advice. “What do I do if I kinda wish my boyfriends, boyfriend would kiss me, too?”

“Tell them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be James and Steve while Darcy's at the Farm.
> 
> Don't forget to feed the author.


	25. I Wish You Would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is super late, but last week at work was crazy, and Friday, when I would have normally spent the time to write, we had a water main break right outside the building, which meant that not only did we have to deal with the city working right outside, but I had three hundred senior citizens that suddenly didn't have water. It was a nightmare, to say the least, and I didn't have any time to work on anything. But, better late than never, right?
> 
> The chapter title was inspired by I Wish You Would by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Enjoy.

Equilibrium 

Chapter 25: I Wish You Would

As much time as the three of them had been spending at Steve’s place, Bucky just didn’t feel at home there. Darcy’s apartment was full of light and color, and felt lived in; where Steve was meticulous with utilitarian furniture and white walls. It took some convincing, but he’d finally talked Steve into staying in his room at Darcy’s place, where Bucky could feel a little closer to his absent girlfriend, and a little more relaxed.

Bucky carefully measured three scoops of coffee grounds into the old Mr. Coffee that Darcy had insisted that she’d bought in college, and the trusty machine had chugged along, brewing the perfect pot, as far as it’s owner was concerned, for her ever since. The scent of hazelnut wafted from the pot as the coffee brewed, making the kitchen smell like home. He sat down heavily on one of the bar stools and listened to the silence. Steve had pulled himself from Bucky’s queen sized bed which was just a little too small for the soldiers to share, at dawn for his run. Bucky’d tried to turn back over, burying his face in Steve’s pillow, and breathing in the warm scent of his boyfriend, willing sleep to come again, but a half hour of controlled breathing, and wishful thinking just left him frustrated. He’d thrown off the covers, not bothering to make the bed like he would at Steve’s place, took a quick shower, and went to make coffee.

Darcy would wait until the carafe was half full before she’d fill her mug with what she called the Elixir of Life, she’d told Bucky more than once that it wasn’t as bitter that way. Something about diffusion of bitterness throughout a larger medium. He thought it was ridiculously cute, but complete and utter non-sense. He also wasn’t that patient. If he could, he’d stick his mug under the flow of fresh coffee and skip the pot entirely.

Bucky was on his second cup of warm Darcy’s special warm hazelnut blend, that was stocked in ridiculous quantities, when a sweaty Steve breezed through the living room, and dropped a kiss against Bucky’s lips, before disappearing down the hall to the guest bathroom for a shower. Bucky shook his head, a bemused, if sleepy expression on his face, and pulled himself off the stool to make breakfast.

Darcy liked a little bit of sweetness in the morning, preferring pancakes, she’d deemed Bucky the official pancake maker, since he could flip them perfectly every time, or pop tarts, sometimes she’d eat this god awful chocolate cereal with freeze dried marshmallows and a cartoon vampire on the box. Steve liked savory in the morning, Bucky chuckled as he cracked eggs into a bowl for scrambled eggs, and turned the griddle on for bacon. Steve liked savory everything in the morning. Which had led to their first fight, when Darcy bolted from Steve’s apartment without giving Bucky his kiss.

“Morning, jerk,” Steve plopped down on Bucky’s vacated bar stool, a towel still hanging around his shoulders, and a pair of flannel pants riding low on his hips. He reached for a piece of bacon off the plate his boyfriend had set out, getting a wooden spoon to the back of his hand for his troubles.

“Use a fork, punk,” Bucky scooped eggs on to the two plates he’d set to warm in the oven. “What were you born in a barn?”

“Nope,” the captain gave his friend a cheeky grin and crunched down on the pilfered treat. “I know your memory’s a little faulty, but I was born in good old Brooklyn.”

“You’re an asshat,” Bucky mumbled, dropping the plate of eggs in from of the other soldier. “So, Darcy and I have this agreement, and I thought we should do the same.”

“Okay,” Steve looked at the other man skeptically over the rim of his coffee mug.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s a good system,” Bucky rolled his eyes and speared a couple of tomato slices to add to Steve’s plate. “We just promised to be completely open and honest with each other about what we are feeling and wanting from our relationship.”

“And that works?” the skeptical look still in the captain’s eyes as he set his cup down and went to slice his tomato. “I recall three days where you sat on my couch bemoaning the fact that your girlfriend was mad at you and wouldn’t talk.”

“Shut up, punk,” the soldier shook his head. “It’s not a perfect system, but it lead me to be able to pursue our relationship, so show some respect. And she came around eventually, she just needed some time.”

“Fine,” Steve held his hands up in surrender. “So, I’m assuming you brought this up for a reason.”

“We need to talk about Darcy,” Bucky told his boyfriend, point blank. “We need to figure out what we both want so we’re on the same page when she gets back.”

Steve just nodded and took a bite of the scrambled eggs that Bucky’d made, savoring the fluffy texture with the creamy bite of cheddar missed in. “How do we deal with it if we both want different things, or if Darcy doesn’t want what we want?”

“We respect each other’s choices, and work it out from there,” Bucky shrugged. “I’m not saying we need to change the current status of our relationships, I just don’t want anything lingering unsaid.”

“Fair enough,” the captain folded his hands around the warmth of his coffee mug and sighed. “I like Darcy,” he said, looking down into the deep dark depths of the hot liquid. “More than like her, I guess. I always thought that eventually I’d work up the nerve to say something, and I kinda thought she liked me too.” Steve shook his head. “I mean, she’d sit for hours with me while I’d wonder through halls of art galleries, and I knew she wasn’t as excited about them as I am.”

“Good,” Bucky smiled, fidgeting a little on his stool. “Good start.” He watched as Steve stared into his mug and waited for the other man to look up at him. “I thought you were going to throw her down on the couch when she kissed you. I told her the same thing, she just blushed and denied it.” He watched the shocked look creep over Steve’s face, his cheeks burning bright red. “I told her that I would have been more than happy to watch you debouch my girlfriend.” Bucky waited for Steve to close his mouth, taking a healthy pull from the now tepid coffee, watching his boyfriend gape like a fish on a hook. “She seems to think you’re not interested.”

“I’m interested,” Steve finally managed to get out.

“So we need to get our girl to believe that,” the soldier insisted. “We need a plan.”

“You said she freaked out about the toothbrush,” Steve recalled their conversation from the night before about Darcy’s boundaries, which had not made Steve want to spend the night in the girl’s apartment without her knowledge of it. “She shot out of my place so fast we both thought she was upset about catching us in the living room.”

“Honestly, I thought she’d sleep longer,” Bucky said defensively. “She almost never wakes up before I put on a pot.”

“Well, you were wrong,” the captain shook his head, dispelling thoughts of their fight. “I nearly died when you told me she was pissed about the stupid toothbrush and not the other thing.”

“If you can do it, you really should be able to say it,” he pushed his plate away. “We’re getting off track.”

“Right,” Steve nodded. “You’re the one that’s good at this, jerk. I spent a year giving her puppy eyes and dragging her to the Met twice a week, hoping she’d figure it out.”

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s to talk it out,” Bucky shrugged, stacking the dishes in the sink to worry about later, ignoring the pained expression on Steve’s face at leaving a mess. It was his apartment, dishes could wait. “She gets home Monday afternoon, why don’t we order some Thai, I don’t like it, but Panag curry is Darcy’s favorite, and we can all sit down and talk? I mean, a little honesty has worked out for me so far with her.”

“And if she’s not interested in me?” Steve barely looked at Bucky from under his lashes.

“I don’t know, Stevie,” he put his arm around his boyfriend, steering him back towards the smaller bedroom. “Watching the two of us kiss certainly gets her motor running, I’m pretty sure she’d be alright with getting to see that a bit more up close and personal, and I wouldn’t have to go without my morning kisses.”

“A relationship is more than sex, Buck,” the super soldier let his boyfriend steer him towards the bed.

“And you two go out all the time, you go to dinner, you snuggle on the couch and watch movies, pull stupid pranks on each other,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Even the media thinks you’re dating. The only thing you aren’t doing is having sex.” He pulled his boyfriend down to the unmade bed, fitting their bodies close together. “You two even snuggle when you sleep.”

“You think this will work?” Steve tucked his head up under Bucky’s chin, like he used to when he was small, his arms around the other man’s waist.

“I’m betting pretty heavy that it will,” he kissed the top of Steve’s head, feeling lighter than he had since he’d watched Darcy leave the day before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to feed the author. Up next, Darcy's triumphant return to the tower.


	26. Rebels of the Sacred Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Rebels of the Sacred Heart by Flogging Molly.
> 
> Okay, so I'm a day late with this one. I did actually have it written yesterday, but after three and a half hours stuck in traffic due to an over turned truck on the highway, I got home just in time to put my kid (he's not quite two yet) to bed, and then looked at my computer and thought about the prospect of spending a few hours typing it up and editing before bed, and said, screw it. So, late, with good reason.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 26: Rebels of the Sacred Heart

Darcy clutched the plastic CVS bag with both hands as she watched the numbers climb higher. She took a long slow breath, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. It had all seemed like a good plan when she was talking about it over the Barton’s kitchen table, Laura’s perfect apple pie sitting warm in her belly, a cup of coffee in her hands. Now that she was actually back in New York, waiting for the elevator doors to open at her target, she felt like her stomach was turning itself inside out.

The numbers felt like they were slowing down the closer the elevator got to its destination, drawing out Darcy’s agony. Then, with a quiet ding, the doors parted. Taking a deep breath to fortify her, Darcy stepped hesitantly off and turned down the hall, eyes locked on her endpoint. She could do this, if nothing else, she had a few extra supplies and wouldn’t have to go to the drug store again for a couple of months. Yeah, that was the only the upside if things went sideways. She knocked lightly on the door, ensured by Friday that her queries were both inside.

The apartment door swung open and Steve looked down at her, a wide grin breaking out across his face. “Darcy,” he breathed out, pulling her off her feet and into a tight hug, tugging the door shut behind her.

“I guess you missed me,” she returned the hug, arms wrapped around his neck, her legs dangling off the floor, her CVS bag forgotten just inside the door.

Steve buried his head into her hair and inhaled the rich lavender scent. “We both did.”

No sooner than Darcy’s feet touched the floor, was she swept up into James’ arms. “It just wasn’t the same without you,” he dipped his head, capturing her lips with his, drawing her bottom lip between his, rubbing his tongue along the plump flesh as he sucked it gently into his mouth.

“Could have something to do with us both trying to fit on your little bed, Buck,” Steve chuckled, slipping past the two, kissing Darcy’s hair as he ran a gentle hand down his boyfriend’s arm. “It’s so much nicer having all three of us in my big bed.”

“How does that give you any more room?” Darcy let James carry her into the kitchen, her legs wrapped around his hips.

“Said nothing about room, Darce, it’s just better,” he picked up the bag Darcy’d dropped on her way in. “Do some shopping on your way home, doll?”

“Oh,” Darcy dropped back onto her feet and stepped away from her boyfriend. “Yeah, that, um,” she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and reached out for the bag, placing it on the kitchen counter and opening it. “I thought I’d get some stuff to keep here when we all stay over, and that maybe you’d like a few things at my place, too.”

Steve looked down at the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, and other various toiletries, his mouth open, before shaking it off and pulling Darcy into his arms again, and kissing her gently. James smiled as he watched Steve kiss Darcy, slipping back to sit down on one of the kitchen chairs to enjoy the show. The clatter he made as he missed the chair and tumbled to the floor caused the couple to break apart and look down at the gob smacked super soldier sitting hap hazard on the floor next to an over turned kitchen chair. “So maybe we should order that Thai a little early?” James said from his place on the floor. Steve just chuckled and nodded his arms still loose around Darcy’s shoulders.

“But you hate Thai,” Darcy looked down at her boyfriend. “And it’s like nine in the morning.” She rounded on Steve, his arms tightened on her as she turned towards him. “And don’t think we aren’t talking about that kiss.”

“That’s what the Thai’s for,” James hefted himself off the floor and took his girlfriend’s hand, leading her gently out of Steve’s embrace and pulled her down onto the couch. “Steve and I did a little talking over the weekend.”

“Okay,” Darcy watched as Steve rounded the couch and sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in both of his. “You guys are scaring me. First with the enthusiastic hug and then the kissing and now we’re sitting down for a talk.” She only just avoided using air quotes, with her hands both clutched in the boys.

Steve looked over at James, who gave them both a warm smile. “You and I agreed to be open and honest, and Steve agreed that we should do the same.”

“You’re breaking up with me,” she went to pull her hands from the boys, but they held fast. “Let go.”

“No,” Steve looked at Bucky pleadingly. “You’re doing this all wrong, jerk.” He brought a hand up to cup Darcy’s cheek, turning her to look at him, hating the hurt filling her ocean blue eyes. “No one’s breaking up with anyone, least of all you.”

“Then why the sit down talk and my favorite food, and all this open honest stuff?” she watched while the two men conducted another wordless conversation over her head. “Will you two quit it and someone just spit it out, cause you’re both killing me here.”

“I want to be with you, too,” Steve all but shouted in a rush to get the words out of his mouth. James smacked his hand over his face.

“Oh,” Darcy looked at both men before grinning. “Good,” she pulled Steve down into a deep kiss, really taking the time to enjoy the sensations of his lips against hers, tugging both men against her and snuggling down on the couch. “So, someone said something about Thai?”

Both men chuckled. “This conversation isn’t over,” James told them.

“Logistics,” Darcy shrugged. “We’ll work that out over food.”

“You gonna make the punk wait three dates, too?” James pulled himself off the couch and grabbed the bag of Darcy’s toiletries.

“Yes,” Darcy told him, snuggling into Steve’s arms, relishing in the new freedom to touch him. He buried his head against her neck, nuzzling his nose into her pulse point.

“Three dates?” Steve mumbled into her skin, sending warm vibrations down her spine.

“Before you get to take our girl to bed, punk,” Bucky called from the bedroom. Steve raised his eye brow at Darcy, her hair beautifully disheveled.

“Sex, Steve, I made James wait three dates before we had sex,” she shrugged her shoulders. “You and I are waiting, too. Three dates, just the two of us.”

“Oh,” Steve pulled away from Darcy, taking both of her hands in his. “We aren’t having sex until we’re both ready.”

“I know,” she smiled up at his pink cheeks. “I also think we need to go out, all three of us, before we take that next step.”

“I don’t want you to think you aren’t welcome to stay the night, though,” Steve told her. “Bucky and I missed you.”

“I think I can manage,” she pulled him down for a kiss. “Now shut up, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.”

*****

Darcy woke up between her two boys, Steve’s arms around her waist, her shirt hiked up under her boobs, his fingers tracing lazy circles on her belly, as Bucky held her against his chest. She watched as the boys kissed over her head, rumbling sounds of contentment coming from both of their chests, capturing Darcy between their warm vibrations.

The boys shifted fully against her, pressing her tightly between them, their hard bodies pressing into her soft one, making things in her body low and tight, pushing into dangerous territory if they were going to try and wait the requisite dates before indulging in more amorous activates all together.

“Alright boys,” Darcy pushed herself from between them, immediately feeling the loss of their warmth. “I’m tapping out.” She kissed each of the boys, pulling reluctantly out of James’ arms as he tried to coax her back into bed, before slipping into the bathroom for a long hot shower, giving the boys some time alone.

*****

Steve caught her on her way out of the apartment. “We didn’t mean to run you off, doll,” he steered her back into the kitchen where Bucky was making coffee.

“You didn’t, Stevie,” she cupped his cheek gently. “I wanted to stay, trust me.”

“Please stay with us tomorrow,” he pleaded, pushing his face against her palm. “Bucky misses touching you.” James’ arms wound around her middle and she relaxed against his chest. Her hand still cupping Steve’s face.

“He can touch me anytime he wants,” Darcy smiled as Steve stepped into her personal space, looking at the other man at her back. “I just, I’m not ready to jump that quickly into bed with you. I think we need to have a solid foundation first. If we rush, we could ruin this for all of us.”

Both men nodded. “Then if it’s alright with you, maybe we could stay at your place tonight, and I’ll be the one to bow out when it gets to be too much,” Steve suggested, his hands over Bucky’s arms where they held Darcy to his chest.

“Oh,” Darcy just looked up into the Captain’s face, enjoying the feeling of both of them so close, the smell of hazelnut coffee surrounded them, mixing with James dark musky scent and Steve’s ocean tang.

“Is that alright, sweetheart?” James’ voice rumbling through her body.

“Yeah,” she smiled and a chaste kiss against Steve’s lips as James rubbed his face into her hair.

“At some point, though,” Steve kept Darcy tight between their bodies, his face close to her ear, dark and low. “Bucky wants to watch me touch you.” James hummed in agreement.

“Three dates, Captain,” she murmured into his hear. “And at least one night just you and me. Then James can watch whatever he wants.”

“I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart,” James spun her in their arms, so she was facing her, capturing her lips hard against his, pushing her back into Steve’s embrace, trapping her between them again. “Now scoot, before I decide I can’t wait.”

Darcy grabbed a cup of coffee and kissed both men before slipping out of Steve’s apartment and up to the R & D floor for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have OT3. And still a long journey to go.
> 
> Don't forget to feed the muse!


	27. Wildest Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams.
> 
> Enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 27: Wildest Dreams

Darcy lay on her lab table, all the tech cleared away, and soft blue equations over her head. “Stupid Tony,” she muttered, adding in a few new characters, before taking them back out. “And your ass backwards coding.” She pulled up a new file and pulled bits from it. “It’s a miracle that Jarvis could even turn on the lights.” She flicked a piece of code towards the glowing blue ball that was Friday, watching it melt into the program. “Friday,” Darcy called, sitting up on the lab table, the random code she still had out, spinning around her head.

“Yes, Ms. Lewis,” the AI responded, her quietly lilting voice grating at Darcy’s nerves.

“Please pull up program Alpha Six and run,” she curled her arms around her knees and waited.

“I apologize, Ms. Lewis,” Friday didn’t sound even a little sorry. Sadly, she also did sound mocking, either, like Jarvis would have. “I do not recognize that program.”

Darcy dropped her head down onto her knees, shaking her head. “I just uploaded it, Friday,” she dropped back onto the lab table, laying out spread eagle, sighing in frustration. “Please do another search and try again.”

“I should clarify, Ms. Lewis,” the annoying buzz filtered from the lab speakers. Darcy contemplated playing with the AI’s voice software, but decided it wasn’t worth it. “I have found the program to be incompatible with my base matrix.”

“That’s a load of bull, Friday,” Darcy resisted the temptation to whack her head against the steel table. “Alpha Six was written specifically for you, I just wrote it, I’ve been working on it all day.” She looked out the window where the sun was just starting to set. “I hate you.”

“I am sorry to hear that, Ms. Lewis.”

This time Darcy did hit her head against the table. “Shut up,” she sighed and rolled off the table, snatching up her tablet before her bare feet touched the concreate floor. She tapped at the screen and pulled up Alpha Six, biting down on her lip.

James knocked gently on the glass wall of Darcy’s lab, leaning against the cool metal door frame as he watched his girl sway to the music in her head, while she tapped gently at her tablet. She looked up at him and smiled.

“You okay?” he asked as he entered the lab, crossing the floor to meet her.

“Friday’s being a pain in the ass,” she waved the tablet at him in emphasis. “I keep writing programs for her and she rejects them for no good reason. I bet Tony’s behind this, that elitist bastard.”

James caught the waving tablet and pulled it out of her hands before she inadvertently hit him with it. “No, doll,” he lead her over to the couch and sat her down. “Are you okay with everything that’s happening between us and Steve?”

“Yeah,” Darcy snuggled under his arm, wrapping hers around his waist. “It’s just a lot, you know,” she shifted so she was as tight against his side as she could get. “Up until a month ago, I was just some guy’s good time girl, the girl you didn’t bother taking out to dinner, and only called for a late night romp.”

“Which is why we took it slow, baby,” James ran his hand up and down her arm, nuzzling his chin into her hair. “Why we made a point to go out on actual dates, and you’re doing the same with Steve.”

“Right,” Darcy sighed, she loved the feel of James’ arms around her, it felt safe and right, just like it felt to be held by Steve, only completely different. She was terrified she was going to mess it all up. “And now I’ve got two honest to god super heroes warming my bed and I get to actually date you both.” She smiled up at the soft look on her boyfriend’s face. She looked back down to where her arms wound around him. “It’s not just sex,” she shrugged. “And I have no idea how to do this.”

“Neither do we, doll,” James kissed her temple and squeezed her to his side. “But we’re going to figure it out together.”

“Okay,” Darcy pulled gently away from him and swung a leg over his lap, settling in. “Just, you know, try to understand if I freak out every once in a while.”

“We can do that,” James’ big hands wrapped around her hips, relishing in the different sensations his two hands picked up as he held them against her skin. “Now, there’s this great guys downstairs, wringing his hands, wondering where his girl is,” he tipped his head against hers, brushing their noses together, “Steve’s hoping you’ll accept his invitations to go out to dinner, but don’t tell him I said so, he wants to ask himself.”

Darcy chuckled, rubbing the tip of his nose playfully, before sitting back. “I’m in ripped jeans and dad’s Metallica t-shirt.”

“I really don’t think he’ll care,” they were the same jeans she’d worn when they painted the lab, more holes then fabric, worn so bare that he could tell she was wearing black boy short under the jeans. James ran his thumbs over the thread bare cotton and smiled as Darcy leaned into his touch.

“Just stall him while I change,” she slipped back off his lap.

“He’s in your living room,” James stood and made for the door.

“I’m sure you can figure something out, hotshot,” she blew him a kiss as he disappeared around the door frame.

Darcy walked over to the wall separating her lab from Jane’s, banging on the glass, waiting for the astrophysicist to look up. “Go home, Janie,” she shouted through the glass at her best friend, taking note of the pencils sticking through her bun, one of which was trying to make an escape, slowly succumbing to gravity. “I’m sure you can find something better to do with that big brain of yours for a few hours with Thor.”

“Oh,” Janes tried to catch the pencil that dropped from her hair; it hit the floor and rolled under the desk. “He’s been begging me to play Mario Kart with him all weekend, but it won’t be the same without you.”

“I’m talking about sex,” Darcy rolled her eyes, exasperated by her clueless friend. “Go have crazy god-sex with Thor, Janie.”

“Is that what you’re going to do tonight?” Jane asked, trying to unobtrusively pull the pencils out of her hair and stuff them back into her pencil cup.

“I’m going to dinner with Steve,” she shrugged, picking at a loose thread on her jeans. “But afterwards, yeah,” she smiled at Jane’s confused look. “I think I’ll take James home and use that metal arm in ways that the manufacturer definitely didn’t intend it to be used.”

“Eww, gross, Darce,” the astrophysicist’s’ ears turned bright red and she busied herself with stacks of notes before pausing and turning. “Wait, you and Steve?”

“We’ll have girls’ night soon,” Darcy turned off her tablet and vanished the last of her day of fruitlessly trying to program Friday. “I’ll tell you all about it.”

Jane pointed at her with a dry erase marker that she’d retrieved from under her desk along with the pencil. “You better.”

Darcy gave her a jaunty salute. “Now go have god-sex.”

“Right on that,” she dropped the marker into the pencil up and strode right out of the lab. Darcy briefly wondered how long it would take for Jane to realize that her keys and bag were still sitting on the lab bench. He shrugged and flicked off the lights, she had her own Avenger waiting for her. Jane could figure her stuff out on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Darcy's first date, up next.
> 
> Don't forget to feed my plot bunny.
> 
> Thank you!


	28. Blank Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Blank Space by Taylor Swift
> 
> Okay, we are getting back on track after a week off to write a soulmate fic that had been rattling around in my brain for far too long.
> 
> Enjoy!

Equilibrium

Chapter 28: Blank Space

Steve loved art, any art, nearly without acceptation. Darcy loved his enthusiasm, and was happy to cultivate any of the boy’s hobbies outside of combat training, but she just couldn’t muster Steve’s enthusiasm for Modern Art. The idea that a red dot on a black canvas was a statement and deeply meaningful, was absolutely ludicrous as far as she was concerned, but when Steve asked her to leave Friday alone for the afternoon and accompany him to the Guggenheim, she agreed. Then quickly asked James to come too.

Darcy snuggled down into Steve’s embrace as the three of them braved the New York winter, flurries of snow just starting to descend as they approached the museum. Bucky watched as the Captain tipped their girl’s chin up and kissed her softly as snowflakes gathered on her eyelashes. He pulled his cap down further over his face and adjusted the upturned collar of his bomber jacket. He loved watching the two of them, but there was an itching at the back of his neck, and as sweet as they looked making doe eyes at each other, he had this deep seated need to push them through the doors and off the street.

The feeling didn’t change, even once they were inside the museum and amerced in the crowd that was flooding the halls despite the fact that it was the middle of the week. He tried to hide his unease from both Darcy and Steve; wanting them to enjoy the time they had together out of the Tower, but only partially succeeded. Darcy pushed him into the darkened alcove by the bathroom, while Steve made use of the facility. 

“What’s wrong Jamie?” she whispered against his neck as he checked the exits.

“I feel like we’re being watched, you know itchy,” he shrugged trying not to worry his girl, though he could see the beginnings of concern on her face.

“Itchy like someone’s specifically watching us or like there are too many people here and there are eyes everywhere?” she asked, pulling off his cap and running her fingers through his hair.

“It’s probably just the people,” James spun them, pushing Darcy up against the wall, her arms went around his neck, his cap crushed between her hands as he captured her lips against his. The itchy feeling wouldn’t stop, even as he tried to lose himself in her lips.

*****

“Ms. Lewis,” Friday called through the speakers of her lab, disturbing yet another fruitless effort to create a program for the AI. “Your presence has been requested in Ms. Potts’ office at your earliest convenience.”

“You can let her know I’m on my way,” Darcy dropped off her stool, switching off her tablet and the lights as she walked out.

Steve and James were already seated on the chairs facing her pseudo stepmother’s desk; the woman in question sat on her desk chair, her hands neatly folded on the desktop.

Pepper sighed as Darcy dropped down on Steve’s lap, one arm around his shoulders. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Pepper sat back in her chair and looked over the three in front of her. “But seriously, you three are a bigger PR nightmare than Tony is this month.” She pushed the latest edition of the Enquirer over to them. ON the front page was a large photo of Darcy and Steve walking into the Guggenheim a few days before, if you knew what to look for, you could even see the dark red of Bucky’s baseball cap hidden behind Steve, the photographer obviously hadn’t. Inset was a picture that looked like Darcy and Bucky, though it was hard to tell. The couple was clearly in a heated embrace, and Bucky’s red hat was crushed between her hands at the back of his neck, neither of their faces were visible.

“Really,” James pushed the tabloid away. “They’re searching for scandal that just ain’t there.”

“Yeah, come on, the head line reads: Ms. Lewis doubling up a date,” Darcy scoffed, looking over at Pepper who had worry lines between her brows. “If you’d just widened the picture, you’d see James right behind us walking in, his hand on my back.”

“Where was Steve in the second picture?” Pepper inquired and suddenly the seriousness of the meeting hit Darcy.

“The bathroom,” Steve looked down at Darcy sitting in his lap and rubbed the back of his neck. “Even Super Soldiers need to pee,” he mumbled.

“You can see the sign for the men’s room in the stupid picture,” James pointed out, smacking the tabloid for effect.

“If they’d waited like two more minutes,” Darcy squirmed in Steve’s lap, uncomfortable at the scrutiny her very privet relationship with her boyfriends was getting in the media, and she hadn’t even read the article, not that it would contain even a tiny grain of truth. “They would have gotten a great picture of Steve kissing me over James’ shoulder.”

“Did anyone else see the three of you together?” Pepper asked.

“Only like five hundred people at the museum, plus the staff and anyone we passed by on the street,” Steve shrugged. “We weren’t trying to be discreet.”

“We’ll see what the other magazines come up with,” the Stark Industries CEO sighed. “But we’re going to have to start doing some damage control, this isn’t going away on its own, and SI is starting to get calls for a statement.”

“So give them one,” Darcy looked over at James who returned her gaze with a warm smile.

“Captain,” Pepper looked at Steve right in the eye, making sure he was on board. “Are you ready for the backlash that’ll come with disclosing your relationship? You three won’t only be disclosing the fact that all three of you are involved, but that Captain America is involved in a polyamorous relationship, with both a man and a woman. They’ll be speculation about the nature of your relationship with your friend Bucky during World War II; you’re going to get dragged through the mud on this.”

“I don’t see why I should have to hide Ms. Potts,” Steve leaned forward, wrapping both arms around Darcy. “I understand your concern, but it doesn’t feel right to me, and I don’t much like bullies, and that’s what these people are. What I’ve been seeing in the media, dragging Darcy’s name through the mud, while painting me as some dumb patsy she’s stepping out on. If we can stop that, we should.” He shrugged and sat back. “Let them say what they want, I’m not ashamed of the people I love, or how I love them.”

“Okay,” Pepper nodded. “I’ll put together a statement.” She made a few quick notes on her tablet and looked at Darcy again. “And we’re going to have to talk about security for you, little Ms. Stark. Once the official statement goes out, you’re going to need it more than you already do.”

“What do I leave the Tower without at least one Avenger?” she grumbled, leaning back against Steve, already exhausted at the scrutiny of the media, and they didn’t even know half of her secrets. “I don’t need a bodyguard, I have the Winter Soldier.”

“You went to Starbucks yesterday, all by yourself,” James pointed out, rubbing her back as best he could from his seat.  
“Ten feet down the street,” she rolled her eyes.

“Still too far if someone’s looking to get to you,” Steve said, agreeing with Bucky.

“We’ll talk,” Darcy conceded. “I agree to nothing yet.”

“All I ask, doll,” he made eye contact with Steve over the girl’s shoulder.

Over the next month, Darcy’s face was splashed over every gossip rag, despite the official statement from Stark Industries, telling the media that Darcy, Steve and James Buchannan, since James Barnes was still wanted in a dozen countries, were in a fully committed relationship; there was still lots of speculation as to who Darcy was really dating. Pepper just kept shaking her head, happy didn’t sell papers, and scandal did.

Darcy found herself photographed with each and every single Avenger, leading to increasingly scandalous headlines. The threesome turned it into a game, who could spot the most ludicrous lie of the week.

“Oh, look,” she flopped back down on her bed where the boys were drinking coffee and reading the morning paper on their tablets. “I’ve left both of you and I’m not stealing Thor from my best friend, who is absolutely heartbroken.” There was a picture of her with Thor, who was giving her a piggy back ride. It was from a couple days before, when she’d fallen and twisted her ankle while they were all walking through Central Park.

“I thought last week they said you were having Hawkeye’s baby,” Steve looked down at the copy of Us Weekly on the bed where Darcy’d dropped it.

“That was Star,” she flipped through the glossy pages of the magazine. “Laura has it framed in her office at home, she sent Clint a picture.”

“What about the one of you and Natasha,” James flicked though his tablet, pulling up a picture of Darcy and Natasha, arm in arm after a Girl’s Night of drinking. The Black Widow was clearly supporting a very drunk Darcy. “Apparently you’d given up on men.”

*****

The last week of March provided Darcy with her favorite picture so far, she couldn’t even conceive of how they’d even gotten the picture to begin with, though the quality said it was taken with a very long lens. It was taken at the Upstate Facility, or the woods outside of the facility. Darcy’d gone with Tony for a long weekend to give him a hand on a few projects he was working on. In the photo, she was standing all by herself in the late March snow, one arm clad in the sleeve of an Ironman suit, the repulse firing, pointed off to the side of the picture, the bright light glowing against the snow. The headline read: Darcy Lewis? or Darcy Stark?

“Well, at least they got it right for once,” Darcy leaned back in the chair across from Pepper’s desk.

“We’re running with it,” Pepper told her.

“What?”

“It’s innocuous, and it’ll pull focus off of Steve and James and your supposed relationships with the various Avengers,” the older woman sat back, folding her hands. “It’ll humanize you, and maybe they’ll actually start to believe the statement we put out instead of,” she shuffled though her tablet. “Your torrid affair with Bruce, they know that he’s literally your father’s age, right?”  
“They played it up in the article,” Darcy rolled her eyes. “Absent father, daddy issues, you know the drill.”

“Anyway,” Pepper put the tablet down. “It’ll be sweet; father and daughter reunited after the tragic loss of your mother to cancer, entirely one hundred percent true, and it’ll coincide with the annual Maria Stark Foundation Ball. You and Tony will attend together.”

Darcy let her head fall back against the chair. “Sure, it’ll be great,” she rolled her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. Please leave a comment in the box below, it feeds the plot bunny.


	29. Circus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, its late, I know. I had this chapter written on Wednesday, all set to be typed up and posted. Sadly, on the way home, I managed to slam my finger in the door and broke it in two places, as it is the ring finger on my dominant hand, and has now been taped to my middle finger, I can't type, at least not easily. So, this being said, updates are going to be very slow for a couple of weeks, I apologize. All updates will be typed on my phone, so please excuse the typos, and if you would, point them out so I can fix them later.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and being patient.
> 
> Enjoy.

Equilibrium

Chapter 29: Circus

Darcy stood in the middle of her living room holding firmly onto James' metal arm as she slipped her Ironman red heels onto each foot, teetering slightly while balancing on four inch heels.

"You look amazing, doll," James pulled her into his arms, her handsbtracing down the soft fabric of his cotton t-shirt. He kissed her carefully on her brightly painted lips.

"I wish you were coming," Darcy envied his flannel sleep pants and bare feet. "Or I could just slip out of this dress and cuddle up on the couch with you."

"And leave poor Stevie all on his own?" he rubbed his nose along hers, a slight smile on his lips.

"He's not even really going with me," Darcy was being escorted by Tony to the Maria Stark Charity Ball. Steve for all intents and purposes, going stag.

"And I'm starting season five of Once without you both," he slid down onto the couch, the remote in his hand and a smile at her pout. "Oh come on, I'll watch it again, Stevie's only seen the first few episodes, anyway." Darcy dropped a kiss on his lips and grabbed her purse on the way out the door.

*****

The flash bulbs were blinding as Darcy took her father's preoffered hand and let him guide her out of the limo. Suddenly she understood why her father flavored sunglasses for such events and moaned the fact that the tiny clutch Pepper had given her precluded her from bringing any. Tony wrapped his arm around her back and guided her between the rows of cameras. "Pepper would tell you to smile pretty and keep walking when they call your name," Tony told her as they walked past the first wave of reporters.

"And what about you, daddy dearest?" Darcy blinked away the flash bulb after images.

In response he guided her over to one side, a mischievous smile plastered to his face. "Ms. Lewis," a man practically shouted over the din. "Stark Industries recently released a statement saying you were dating both Captain America and the other man you've been photographed with, who has been tentatively identified as the assassin known as the Winter Soldier. Why are you here with Tony Stark?"

"I'll answer that if you don't mind, Darcy?" Tony winked. "Tonight is a Stark family tradition, as a Stark, Darcy has agreed that being escorted by her father would be appropriate. As for her boyfriends, I'd imagine they're probably back home doing the horizontal mambo, that what you kids call it, right." Darcy's free hand came up to smack herself in the face.

"Don't be a sick, dad," Darcy rolled her eyes. "Steve's just behind us in the next car with Pepper."

"Is that what you call him?" The idiot reporter asked.

"Who dad or Steve?" She asked, being purposefully obtuse. "It would be really awkward to shout Captain America, in bed, it's just such a mouthful. So, yeah, I call him Steve, it is his name agreeable."

"Oh," Tony stared her away from the reporter, who was finally ignoring her in favor of his phone. "Good one, Pepper's gonna die when the torrid story about Steve's sex life comes out."

"Wasn't that the point?" Darcy smiled prettily for the cameras, looking around for Steve to join her. "Getting the media to believe that I'm in a committed relationship, not stepping out on Steve. Make me boring again so no one bothers with gossiping about me?"

"Somehow your threesome with Steve and Bucky sounds like media fodder," Tony said as he passed her off into Steve's arms.

"Hey Stevie," she smiled up at him, drinking in how he looked in his dark blue Armani and blood red tie, ever the symbol of patriotism. He smile at her and bent down to capture her lips, his hand cupping the back of her head. The flash bulbs around them went wild as he dipped her back, lips firmly locked together. "We'll, that's a front page picture if I do say so."

*****  
It graced the headlines alright, right under the words: Darcy Lewis, Captain America's beard? And, Captain America, all-American gay icon.

"Tony Stark," Pepper bellowed as she strode off the elevator into the Avengers common room. "All I asked was one night where you take your daughter out, say nice things about your relationship and smile pretty for the camera."

"I did," he dropped the New York Times Society page on the table, a nice picture of Darcy and Tony dancing near the top of the page,with quick blurb about the newest Stark. Right below the picture of Steve and Darcy kissing, a nice little write up about finding romance in the twenty first century. "The Times, which is a reputable paper, wrote a very nice little piece about Darcy and her computer prowess helping bring SI into a new era."

"Fine," Pepper dropped the newest edition of Star on the table. "Just try and watch what you say about other people's sex lives." The corner picture was a grant low light picture of Darcy and Steve, it looked like his hand was up her dress, probably because it had been.

"Oops," Darcy glanced at Steve, who was very bright red. "Maybe they could see us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all for reading and for your patience with my slow updates. I'll do my best to keep as close to my normal schedule as I can.
> 
> Love you all!


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, everyone. We've come to the end. I hope you all have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, sent kudos, and followed Equilibrium. You all are amazing.

Equilibrium

Chapter 30: Epilogue

It happened by inches. First sketch pads found their way into the living room, taking up space on the coffee table inter mingling with Darcy’s notebooks. Then his shield found its way to the empty guitar stand, after she’d finally put away her mother’s broken guitar. The furniture in Bucky’s room disappeared and was replaced by book shelves full of Bucky’s Science Fiction novels and Steve’s historical fiction; the bottom shelves reserved for Darcy’s collection of sundries. Steve set up a drafting table in the corner, his pastels staining the wood and smudging into the paint on the walls. Bucky’s gun safe became Steve and Bucky’s.

Darcy stood at the doorway of her room, Bucky’s tactical gear sat on top of the hamper, spilling out onto the floor with Steve’s suit peeking out underneath. Both of the boys’ gloves were tucked into their respective head gear on the dresser next to her Bucky Bear, who had lost his place on the bed when the boys moved in and took up the space. On the walls were sketches Steve did of them, including the one he’d given to Bucky for Christmas. Framed photos had sprung up like spring flowers on the nightstands, and now her trusty reading glasses lived in a drawer.

“You know,” Steve slid in behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist. “I didn’t think I’d ever see that again.” They both looked down at Bucky sprawled out on the bed, one arm over his head and a book open on his bare chest. “When we were younger, and Bucky was still working on the docks, I’d come home from selling papers and I’d find him on the couch, out like a light, book on his chest, just like that.”

“You tell me that story every time we find him sleeping,” Darcy leaned back into Steve’s embrace, holding his arm with both of hers. “I learned early on, though, if you try to take the book away, he’s on his feet like he’d been born with springs.”

Steve laughed, pulling Darcy into the living room and closing the bedroom door. From out of the depths of Bucky’s nieces’ attic, the three of them had unearthed the old music chest that had sat in their apartment before they’d left for the war. Once it had held their old gramophone, now on the top was Steve’s Metal of Honor and his Purple Heart in their glass display case, right next to Bucky’s newly received Metal of Honor, still in its velvet case.

“I can’t thank you enough,” Steve pulled her down onto the couch astride his lap, and sank his fingers into her hair.

“Nothing doing, Cap,” Darcy looped her arms around his neck and curled into his embrace, letting her lips rub gently against his. It’s happened slowly, both boys sinking gradually into her home and her life. One the wall next to the door, the keys to Steve’s apartment still hung on his hook, sad and neglected. Darcy made plans to throw them into the junk drawer, but later.

*****

Bucky rolled off the bed, his book falling to the floor with a muffled thud as it landed on the thick pile carpet. He scooped it up and dropped it onto his pillow before leaving the room, kicking part of his gear that was doing its level best to escape the bathroom, back through the door.

Bucky leaned against the door jamb taking in the sight in front of him. He watched as Steve’s hands ran down their girlfriend’s magnificently bare back as she rocked above him, her hair spilling down to touch Steve’s finger tips. A soft smile pulled at Bucky’s lips as he watched them together, fully aware that they both knew he was there, but choosing to ignore him.

“Guess I’m making dinner, then,” he pushed away from the door jam and let his long legs carry him through the living room. Steve’s dry chuckle following him into the kitchen. That moment, right there, was heaven. He pulled things down for pasta and watched the two most important people in the world to him, making love on their couch, in their apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> I love feedback. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't, and what you want to see next. Song suggestions are also welcomed.


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